Here are some choice roasts:
It took you 38 years to feel outdated - prompting you to buy a machine that is, already outdated. It’s all downhill from here.
Looks like you bought it pre-owned at a Caddy dealer; enjoy your used Chevy, it’ll be worth $20k in 5 years.
When you’re 38 and still want to impress the chick that curved you in high school
So, when is your penis enlargement surgery scheduled...