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Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Jan 21, 2020. 6 comments

MLK, the KKK and the NRA: A Brief History of Racists With Guns

MLK, the KKK and the NRA: A Brief History of Racists With Guns

A white supremacist with a gun killed Martin Luther King Jr.

That fact alone makes Monday’s white supremacist-palooza seem particularly disrespectful. However, the history of the Second Amendment reflects America’s obsession with firearms as a means of oppression. Guns have been the primary tool for racial oppression since America was founded, so MLK Day might be the perfect holiday to...

6 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Jan 17, 2020. 17 comments

Black History, According to White People

Black History, According to White People

Mithridates the Great was one of the Roman Empire’s greatest foes and claimed to be a descendant of Alexander the Great, who died by poisoning. Mithridates’ father died from poison. His father died from poison. His mother tried to poison him.

Needless to say, Mithridates the Great was obsessed with poison.

So, the king created antidotum mithridatacum (the antidote of Mithridates) or “

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Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Jan 16, 2020. 21 comments

Michael Bloomberg Claims He Pushed Racist ‘Stop-and-Frisk’ Policy Because He Wanted to Help Black People

Michael Bloomberg Claims He Pushed Racist ‘Stop-and-Frisk’ Policy Because He Wanted to Help Black People

One of the most appalling statistics I’ve ever read about racial profiling comes from a 2012 New York Civil Liberties Union report on the NYPD’s racist “stop-and-frisk” policy. In 2011, the NYPD searched 168,126 young black men (between the ages of 14 and 24). Depending on your knowledge of the relationship between crime, race, and population statistics, that might not sound alarming, until...

21 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Jan 15, 2020. 13 comments

Black Church Leaders Call Out White Evangelicals for Supporting MAGA Jesus

Black Church Leaders Call Out White Evangelicals for Supporting MAGA Jesus

A collective of black faith leaders has penned a letter criticizing white Christians who are willing to support a racist, law-breaking, lying, adulterous president who treats the Ten Commandments and the Constitution like toilet paper.

In an open letter to the religious website Religion News Service, 74 “ministerial leaders, doctorates, lay-persons and people who simply love God” wrote an open...

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Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Jan 14, 2020. 20 comments

How to Win an Oscar If You’re Black

How to Win an Oscar If You’re Black

The #OscarsSoWhite, they called the police on the BET Awards.

The #OscarsSoWhite, Pete Buttigieg was almost nominated for an award.

The #OscarsSoWhite, Cuba Gooding Jr. tried to marry his statue.

On Monday, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced the nominees for the 92nd Academy Awards and, as usual, they’re rooting for everybody white. Although the Oscar committee has touted...

20 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Jan 14, 2020. 16 comments

Noted Philosopher Marshawn Lynch Explains Self-Care in 90 Seconds or Less

Noted Philosopher Marshawn Lynch Explains Self-Care in 90 Seconds or Less

Marshawn Lynch is a goddamn national treasure.

Don’t debate me on this.

Marshawn Lynch knows what the lonely do at Christmas and who let the dogs out. Before the Avengers asked the Wakandans to help defeat Thanos, they went to Marshawn Lynch’s house but he was at the gym. Marshawn Lynch gave Popeyes his secret chicken sandwich recipe and the rest is history. When he was eight years old,...

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Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Jan 11, 2020. 6 comments

The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: A Salute to the ‘Good Ones’

The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: A Salute to the ‘Good Ones’

For too long, the writers at The Root have ignored the plight of those whose labor goes unrecognized and unheralded. In our fight for equality and justice, we have forgotten one outstanding group of Americans who are willing to lay their lives on the line. But that ends today.

Today’s Clapback Mailbag is dedicated to the “good” white people.

This is for our Caucasian compatriates who “don’t...

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Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Jan 10, 2020. 18 comments

Bomani Jones Eloquently Explains the Problem With Talking to White People About Racism

Bomani Jones Eloquently Explains the Problem With Talking to White People About Racism

I know how to fix racism.

I’m not the only person with the cure for America’s unique strain of this social disease, nor have I kept this solution to myself. I have frequently outlined a complex procedure that could eliminate discrimination, institutional inequality and white supremacy in one generation. But just in case you’ve never read my sophisticated plan for stamping out systematic...

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Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Jan 09, 2020. 23 comments

How to Be a Better White Person in 2020

How to Be a Better White Person in 2020

Occasionally The Root will interrupt our coverage of black news, opinions, politics, and culture to openly address our white readership. In 2020, we’d like to finally have that oft-discussed “conversation about race” we hear you guys mention so often. To be clear, white people need to have a conversation about race. Black people in America have been actively engaged in an ongoing discussion...

23 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Jan 08, 2020. 23 comments

Mayor Pete’s Invisible Black Police

Mayor Pete’s Invisible Black Police

Given the choice of superpowers, would you rather have the ability to fly or the power of invisibility?

This comic book-based Rorschach test allegedly reveals deep-seated personality traits. Supposedly, people who choose the gift of flight want recognition and praise while those who wish for invisibility are less confident and shun attention. While the question is interesting, psychologists...

23 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Jan 04, 2020. 23 comments

The Root's Clapback Mailbag: Based on an Almost True Story

The Root's Clapback Mailbag: Based on an Almost True Story

Happy New Year!

In 2020, we will be doing something different with the mailbag.

Don’t worry: the mailbag will still come every Friday. We’ll still answer a selection of emails, tweets, DMs and comments from our readers. We will continue to fuel the mailbag with white tears.

But this year, we’re also going to respond to nice emails. We’re going to answer random questions from serious,...

23 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Dec 31, 2019. 16 comments

White Woman Acquitted of Hate Crime After Using Racial Slurs, Slapping Black Car Salesman

White Woman Acquitted of Hate Crime After Using Racial Slurs, Slapping Black Car Salesman

A pickup truck-driving white woman who “backhanded” a car salesman was cleared of ethnic intimidation charges on Monday after a judge ruled that slapping the shit out of a black man and calling him “nigger” isn’t necessarily racist if she’s upset about her trade-in value.

Kent County Circuit Judge Paul Sullivan acquitted 47-year-old Shelley Hueckel of ethnic intimidation but convicted the...

16 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Dec 31, 2019. 10 comments

White Man Found Guilty of Killing Sister's Unarmed Black Boyfriend

White Man Found Guilty of Killing Sister's Unarmed Black Boyfriend

A white Portland, Maine, man who claimed self-defense after shooting his sister’s unarmed black boyfriend in the back was convicted of manslaughter on Friday in a case that included allegations of racism, Islamophobia and white privilege.

Although a grand jury indicted 25-year-old Mark Cardilli Jr. on murder charges, Maine Superior Court Justice Nancy Mills found Cardilli guilty of...

10 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Dec 28, 2019. 16 comments

The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: Keep That Same Energy, Wypipo

The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: Keep That Same Energy, Wypipo

For the last mailbag of 2019, we chose an email, a tweet, a DM and a comment that all ask the same question:

Why are we so racist?

How can we use the slur “wypipo” while condemning their use of the n-word? How can we make jokes about our Caucasian constituency? Wouldn’t we call them racists if they did it?

Although I’m sure it’ll be asked again (white people are nothing if not consistent), I...

16 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Dec 27, 2019. 12 comments

The 2019 Wypipo Awards: End of the Decade Edition

The 2019 Wypipo Awards: End of the Decade Edition

We’d like to welcome you to the fifth annual Wypipo Awards.

After years of whining that the BET Awards, the NAACP Awards and The Root 100 are inherently racist because they are limited to black people, we created these awards. Our founder, Mr. Y.P. Pull—who made his fortune building desalinization plants that take the salt out of white tears and then use them to irrigate kale farms—started...

12 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Dec 25, 2019. 5 comments

Christmas Vs. Kwanzaa: The Tale of the Tape

Christmas Vs. Kwanzaa: The Tale of the Tape

I was raised in a fundamentalist church that believed in the seventh-day Sabbath, tambourines and neverending, four-nights-a-week services that lasted well into Arsenio Hall’s opening monologue. Apparently, God’s eternal kingdom specifically forbade rap music, brazen women who had premarital sex (if you were a man it wasn’t ok but it didn’t decrease your value) and Christmas cheer.

Even...

5 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Dec 24, 2019. 19 comments

#NotAllHistorians: Some White People Are Upset That the New York Times' 1619 Project Isn’t Centered in Whiteness

#NotAllHistorians: Some White People Are Upset That the New York Times' 1619 Project Isn’t Centered in Whiteness

“For 400 years, we have been told that black people are a problem. We are indoctrinated into this lie from the moment we take our first breath. No people have been more legislated against and studied than black Americans. That is because our very existence in our country gives lie to the exceptionality mythology of our founders.

So, this year, to mark the 400th anniversary of August 1619, the...

19 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Dec 21, 2019. 15 comments

The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: O Come, All Ye Racists

The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: O Come, All Ye Racists

“The Clapback Song”:

Nikes roasting on an open fire
Pete Buttigieg lying through his nose
Jonas Brothers singing Earth Wing & Fire
White people in plantation wedding photos

Everybody knows, that phone call to Ukraine was bad
And what they did to Kaepernick ain’t right
But white people are spitting mad
Because a MAGA jaw got broken in a fight.

They know impeachment’s on the way
So white people write us...

15 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Dec 20, 2019. 5 comments

For Black People Who Have to Work With MAGAts After Impeachment

For Black People Who Have to Work With MAGAts After Impeachment

Sometimes I take for granted how much God* has blessed me.

Every day, I get to work with a group of people who know all the lyrics to Lil’ Kim’s verse in “Quiet Storm” and don’t have to count in their heads when they do the Electric Slide (those are actually the first and second questions on The Root’s employment application). I don’t even have to worry about ingesting Stove Top stuffing if I...

5 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Dec 17, 2019. 5 comments

Curtis Flowers Is Free From Death Row After 6 Trials, 23 Years in Prison

Curtis Flowers Is Free From Death Row After 6 Trials, 23 Years in Prison

Curtis Flowers walked out of a Mississippi prison a free man for the first time in more than two decades. All it took was six trials, 23 years behind bars, a podcast investigation, a national outcry and a Supreme Court decision, a substantial bond and a judge who disregarded the wishes of a Mississippi prosecutor who wants to still keep Flowers in prison for a crime he maintains he did not...

5 Comments

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