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Jack Crosbie's posts - English uPOST

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 20, 2019 at 02:46. 1 comments

I Am This Moose

I Am This Moose

Today and tomorrow and the day after that it is going to be very hot in NYC . So hot that the big mayor who is also running for president canceled a big music festival that John Kasich was invited to, for some reason. You can look it up it’s called OZY Fest. I applied for a press pass to it at the last minute because Stacey Abrams was also going to be there and I thought she might say...

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Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 19, 2019 at 20:28. 2 comments

John Delaney's Campaign Staffers Are Reportedly Begging Him to Quit the Race

John Delaney's Campaign Staffers Are Reportedly Begging Him to Quit the Race

John Delaney’s campaign for president isn’t looking... great, we’ll say. Axios reported this morning that Delaney’s senior staff “sat him down and told him to drop out” of the race by the middle of August, throwing in the towel on a costly campaign that Delaney has been running literally since 2017, something I had completely forgotten.

The campaign isn’t expecting he’ll qualify for the third...

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Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 18, 2019 at 04:57. 1 comments

Here is the president of the United States casually dropping a direct reference to the unfounded con

Here is the president of the United States casually dropping a direct reference to the unfounded con

Here is the president of the United States casually dropping a direct reference to the unfounded conspiracy theory that Rep. Ilhan Omar married her brother, which, before today, is the absolute lowest I thought this political fight could go. Now, who knows! Any lie appears to be on the table.

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Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 18, 2019 at 01:17.

Congratulations! Your Rand Paul Evolved Into IRANd Paul!

Congratulations! Your Rand Paul Evolved Into IRANd Paul!

According to a new report from Politico on Wednesday, Kentucky Senator Rand Paul will take on a new role as the Trump administration’s secret backchannel to the government of Iran. This is....fine??

But for the fact that Rand Paul is a moron , and our relationship with Iran has been stretched to a volatile breaking point. But it goes to show just how bad things have gotten that sending in...

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 17, 2019 at 21:31.

Watch a Republican Goon's Brain Short Circuit Over Whether He'd Support a Racist

Watch a Republican Goon's Brain Short Circuit Over Whether He'd Support a Racist

Is Donald Trump a racist? If you are the average person who did not vote for him, the answer is clearly yes. If you are a cable news anchor, however, the answer is hmm... maybe... let’s go to our panel .

It is all so very dumb. But, sometimes, it leads to moments like this, wherein Kansas Senate candidate Kris Kobach suffers a minor brain short circuit on live TV while Chris Cuomo shouts...

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 16, 2019 at 01:01. 21 comments

I'm A Single Issue Voter: No More Khakis

I'm A Single Issue Voter: No More Khakis

Fashion is subjective. We all have our own particular tastes and preferences. People should, as a rule, be free to wear whatever they want to and express themselves through clothing however they choose. However. BUT. There are exceptions to every rule. My exception: no khakis, especially on presidential candidates.

I’m sorry. I can’t do it! There are many problems with how presidential...

21 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 15, 2019 at 23:33. 14 comments

Trump Moves to Destroy Asylum System as We Know It

Trump Moves to Destroy Asylum System as We Know It

The Trump administration moved today to drastically change the country’s asylum rules, effectively ending the possibility for many Central American migrants or refugees to apply for asylum and fundamentally breaking the system as we know it.

The new rules are both simple and incredibly destructive: Under the proposed change, which is expected to go into affect on Tuesday, any migrant who...

14 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 15, 2019 at 20:39.

Trump Forgot to Actually Follow Up on His Threats to Let California Burn

<a href="https://splinternews.com/trump-forgot-to-actually-follow-up-on-his-threats-to-le-1832783843" data-id="" onClick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink page click', 'Permalink page click - post header', 'standard');">Trump Forgot to Actually Follow Up on His Threats to Let California Burn<em></em></a>

In January, just a few short months after a series of disastrous wildfires ravaged California, President Trump announced that he had directed FEMA to cut off federal emergency funding unless the state got its “act together,” whatever that means.

The threat was an absurd, vindictive, and ill-informed attempt to redirect criticism from the administration’s disastrous environmental policies,...

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 15, 2019 at 18:56.

Normal Thing to Bring to a Meeting

<a href="https://splinternews.com/normal-thing-to-bring-to-a-meeting-1831433813" data-id="" onClick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink page click', 'Permalink page click - post header', 'standard');">Normal Thing to Bring to a Meeting</a>

That’s President Donald Trump at a cabinet meeting today. Hang on, what’s that on the table in front of him?

Oh hell yeah, baby. It’s the poster. Incredible. You may remember this poster from this tweet:

Why did Donald Trump bring the poster to a cabinet meeting? I don’t know, honestly. The original poster was in reference to a series of sanctions on Iran that were lifted as part of Barack...

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 15, 2019 at 18:19.

World's Stupidest Person Tells on Himself

<a href="https://splinternews.com/worlds-stupidest-person-tells-on-himself-1833260024" data-id="" onClick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink page click', 'Permalink page click - post header', 'standard');">World&#39;s Stupidest Person Tells on Himself</a>

People are, on the whole, extremely dumb. I am aggressively dumb almost constantly, a fact that many of my coworkers would be happy to point out. But the vast majority of the population, despite an undercurrent of dumbness, has a general streak of common sense that keeps them from doing catastrophically stupid things so often that they become known for it for the rest of their lives.

This is...

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 15, 2019 at 18:12.
Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 15, 2019 at 17:43.

John Kasich 'Very Seriously' Considering Getting Thrashed By Trump Again in 2020

<a href="https://splinternews.com/john-kasich-very-seriously-considering-getting-thrash-1830640391" data-id="" onClick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink page click', 'Permalink page click - post header', 'standard');">John Kasich &#39;Very Seriously&#39; Considering Getting Thrashed By Trump Again in 2020</a>

Ohio Governor John Kasich is considering a 2020 run for President against Trump, thinking for some reason that there’s any point at all in running against the modern Republican party’s racist juggernaut from the position of “still Republican but more midwestern about it.”

Kasich would of course get crushed, but hey, seeing as his career now relies on him playing the Good Republican on TV, he...

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 15, 2019 at 17:34.

Erick Erickson Finally Drops the #NeverTrump Charade

<a href="https://splinternews.com/erick-erickson-finally-drops-the-nevertrump-charade-1832529069" data-id="" onClick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink page click', 'Permalink page click - post header', 'standard');">Erick Erickson Finally Drops the #NeverTrump Charade</a>

Spineless blob Erick Erickson finally made an honest pivot today, announcing that he was endorsing Trump/Pence in 2020 and vowed to “help them on the trail as needed” after being one of the main names behind #NeverTrump in 2016.

That help will likely come in the form of dozens of credulous cable news interviews and self-aggrandizing op-eds, which Erickson has made his specialty for the past...

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 15, 2019 at 16:09.

Hell yeah, Future Union

Hell yeah, Future Union

Hell yeah, Future Union. It took management more than 40 days—far too long! You know what else is far too long? BuzzFeed’s 52 days and counting. Take note, bosses.

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 15, 2019 at 15:45.

Prosecutors Dunk All Over Michael Cohen's Plea For Leniency

<a href="https://splinternews.com/prosecutors-dunk-all-over-michael-cohens-plea-for-lenie-1830950486" data-id="" onClick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink page click', 'Permalink page click - post header', 'standard');">Prosecutors Dunk All Over Michael Cohen&#39;s Plea For Leniency</a>

Michael Cohen, like most people who do crimes, does not want to go to jail for doing crimes. Unfortunately, his chances of that do not look great!

On Friday, prosecutors with the Southern District of New York released their sentencing memo for Cohen’s case, which recommended that President Trump’s former lawyer face a sentence of 42 months in prison and a $100,000 fine for the crimes of tax...

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 15, 2019 at 15:28.

Would Be Great for the Pentagon to Hold a Press Conference Right About Now

<a href="https://splinternews.com/would-be-great-for-the-pentagon-to-hold-a-press-confere-1834559907" data-id="" onClick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink page click', 'Permalink page click - post header', 'standard');">Would Be Great for the Pentagon to Hold a Press Conference Right About Now</a>

There are a few pressing questions facing the United States military and foreign policy apparatus right now. On Sunday, the Trump administration announced that it was dispatching the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln carrier strike group to the Middle East “to send a clear and unmistakable message to the Iranian regime.” My question is what... does that mean? What’s the message? Where are the boats...

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 15, 2019 at 15:05.

The Democrats Love Amazon More Than Any Other Institution Which...Yikes

<a href="https://splinternews.com/the-democrats-love-amazon-more-than-any-other-instituti-1829970778" data-id="" onClick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink page click', 'Permalink page click - post header', 'standard');">The Democrats Love Amazon More Than Any Other Institution Which...Yikes<em></em></a>

Every year, various polling organizations put together a list of the most and least-trusted institutions in the United States, teasing out the results based on respondents’ political affiliations and other demographics.

Last year, for example, a Gallup poll found Americans trusted the military more than any other government institution. This year, the Baker Center for Leadership and Governance...

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 15, 2019 at 14:30.

Trump Interrupts Medal of Freedom Ceremony to Be Extremely Horny

<a href="https://splinternews.com/trump-interrupts-medal-of-freedom-ceremony-to-be-extrem-1830498093" data-id="" onClick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink page click', 'Permalink page click - post header', 'standard');">Trump Interrupts Medal of Freedom Ceremony to Be Extremely Horny</a>

Donald Trump awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the ceremonial things that Presidents get to do to feel cool about being president, to a whole bunch of people today, including the evil and dead Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.

But while presenting the medal to Scalia’s wife, Maureen, Trump paused to be extremely horny. While introducing Maureen, Trump rattled off all nine...

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 15, 2019 at 14:27.

Charlottesville Schools Closed for a Second Day After Violent Racist Threat Posted Online

<a href="https://splinternews.com/charlottesville-schools-closed-for-a-second-day-after-v-1833490275" data-id="" onClick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink page click', 'Permalink page click - post header', 'standard');">Charlottesville Schools Closed for a Second Day After Violent Racist Threat Posted Online<em></em></a>

Schools in Charlottesville, VA, are closed for the second day in a row today as police investigate a racist, violent threat that surfaced online promising an “ethnic cleansing” of Charlottesville High School.

The original threat, which surfaced Wednesday on various social media sites, was widely circulated as a screenshot of a post from what appears to be 4chan’s /pol/ board, which is often...

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Jul 15, 2019 at 12:54.

Elizabeth Warren Gives Her Best Answer Ever On Medicare for All

<a href="https://splinternews.com/elizabeth-warren-gives-her-best-answer-ever-on-medicare-1835892522" data-id="" onClick="window.ga('send', 'event', 'Permalink page click', 'Permalink page click - post header', 'standard');">Elizabeth Warren Gives Her Best Answer Ever On Medicare for All</a>

Sen. Elizabeth Warren has made the most of her time at the first 2020 Democratic debate Wednesday, but her first real home run was an impassioned defense of Medicare for All. Following Sen. Amy Klobuchar’s reiteration that, well, M4A just isn’t realistic and a public option is better, Warren got fired up.

Her defense of the proposal—explicitly agreeing with the bill she and Sen. Bernie Sanders...

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