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Jack Crosbie's posts - English uPOST

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie 1 hours 26 minutes ago.

Is This Thing a Bird? Or Is It? No, It's A Bird. But Maybe a Rabbit? No. Bird.

Is This Thing a Bird? Or Is It? No, It's A Bird. But Maybe a Rabbit? No. Bird.

Here’s a thing circulating online:

It’s a bird, right? Yeah. That’s what I thought. But then... For a second, I saw rabbit. I see it! The ears though, are wrong. So it’s a crow. But... I dunno.

Ok.

It’s definitely a bird. But is it a crow or a raven? Not sure. One of my editors suggested it could be a raven, more specifically. Maybe! It’s definitely not a rabbit, but for a second there in the...

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie 4 hours 32 minutes ago. 2 comments

Trump Admin Secretly Tells Big Donors: Yeah, a Recession Might Happen

Trump Admin Secretly Tells Big Donors: Yeah, a Recession Might Happen

For months now, the signs that the United States is about to go through another major recession have been popping up like clockwork .

President Donald Trump and his administration are naturally worried that such a disastrous economic event would tank his re-election chances , so in public, the line has been that fears of a recession are overblown or even a liberal media conspiracy . In...

2 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 20, 2019 at 03:39. 4 comments

NYPD Union Incensed That a Cop Is Being Held Accountable for Eric Garner's Death

NYPD Union Incensed That a Cop Is Being Held Accountable for Eric Garner's Death

The New York Police Department today fired Daniel Pantaleo , the Staten Island NYPD officer whose chokehold of Eric Garner was deemed responsible for Garner’s death in 2014, following a judge’s recommendation earlier this month . Representatives for the rank and file police, of course, are livid, and have set their sights on a different target following Pantaleo’s dismissal: 2020 presidential...

4 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 20, 2019 at 00:39. 6 comments

Elizabeth Warren Finally Publicly Apologizes for Clueless DNA Test Claiming Native Heritage

Elizabeth Warren Finally Publicly Apologizes for Clueless DNA Test Claiming Native Heritage

Since the tone-deaf, blundering decision to produce the results of a DNA test in an effort to prove her Native American ancestry, Elizabeth Warren has avoided directly publicly acknowledging her largest misstep in an otherwise sharp campaign, until today.

“Like anyone’s who’s being honest with themselves, I know that I have made mistakes. I am sorry for harm I have caused. I have listened,...

6 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 19, 2019 at 22:45. 7 comments

Trump Mad at 'Unstable Nut Job' Who Is Miraculously Not Him

Trump Mad at 'Unstable Nut Job' Who Is Miraculously Not Him

President Donald Trump, like many cliche megalomaniacs, prizes “loyalty” over almost anything else. What happens when someone violates his nebulous concept of that word? He becomes a big squalling baby. Today’s case in point: Anthony Scaramucci, who has pivoted his personal brand from Trump ally to Trump foe for uh, reasons.

This is likely a response to Scaramucci announcing on CNN that he...

7 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 17, 2019 at 03:15. 16 comments

Here's Wedding Crasher Trump Planting a Wet One on the Bride

Here's Wedding Crasher Trump Planting a Wet One on the Bride

Donald Trump loves weddings, so much so that he’s personally had three! He loves to be a guest too —whenever there’s one going on at one of his many tacky properties while he’s visiting, he occasionally shows up, assuming (correctly) that anyone willing to get married at a Trump venue is probably one of his fans.

For everyone watching this from the outside, however, it is extremely, intensely...

16 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 17, 2019 at 01:05. 18 comments

A school official in Ohio participating in an on-campus concealed carry program returned from the ba

A school official in Ohio participating in an on-campus concealed carry program returned from the ba

A school official in Ohio participating in an on-campus concealed carry program returned from the bathroom to find two first graders had taken her handgun out of an unlocked box in her office, the Columbus Dispatch reports. Seems... not safe! Arming teachers : what could possibly go wrong?

18 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 16, 2019 at 22:02. 3 comments

Fox News Fool Suggests Medicare for All Would Actually Mean More Mass Shootings

Fox News Fool Suggests Medicare for All Would Actually Mean More Mass Shootings

On Friday, Fox News contributor Rachel Campos-Duffy linked two top issues of the moment: Medicare for All and mass shootings. Did she do so in a logically and morally consistent way, perhaps by suggesting that single-payer healthcare would dramatically improve the lives of gun violence survivors, who are often crippled by medical bills? Oh gosh no. Absolutely not. Instead she did this:

This...

3 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 16, 2019 at 20:27. 5 comments

Greenland to Trump: Thanks for Your Interest! Unfortunately You Definitely Can't Buy Us

Greenland to Trump: Thanks for Your Interest! Unfortunately You Definitely Can't Buy Us

Greenland: seems nice! It’s a land of many glaciers (which are melting) and copious natural resources (which can be exploited to melt the glaciers faster). It’s also very pretty! One thing it’s not: for sale.

Late yesterday, the Wall Street Journal reported President Donald Trump has floated the idea of buying Greenland “with varying degrees of seriousness” to numerous parties. This prompted...

5 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 15, 2019 at 00:21. 9 comments

Hog Blog: Iowa State Fair Edition

Hog Blog: Iowa State Fair Edition

Well you know what they say folks: politics is all about getting down there and rollin’ in the mud. You know who knows all about that? Hogs. Here at Splinter, we’re committed to delivering all the timeliest hogs that’re fit to print . And here they are, from the Iowa State fair.

First, the biggest hog of all:

Oh, were there politicians at the Iowa State fair, too? Coulda fooled me. All I can...

9 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 14, 2019 at 21:55. 15 comments

Beto O'Rourke Would Really Like You to Stop Asking When He's Going to Drop Out

Beto O'Rourke Would Really Like You to Stop Asking When He's Going to Drop Out

Beto O’Rourke is back “in it,” as they say, planning to return to the campaign trail on Thursday after a well-justified break from the presidential race to mourn the victims of the horrific mass shooting in his hometown of El Paso.

But does the 2020 campaign still need Beto? According to Beto, yes. According to uh, pretty much everyone else... not really!

Per Politico:

His numbers haven’t...

15 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 13, 2019. 17 comments

Tag Yourself I'm the Dead Fish

Tag Yourself I'm the Dead Fish

In the entire world, there are something like two gigatons worth of carbon-based animal life forms, and I am pretty sure that Donald Trump Jr. is on a mission to kill most of them.

Case in point this fish, which is big.

What the fuck man. Does that fish weigh a gigaton? Not for me to say, but perhaps. That’s a really big fish. What do you think is the total mass or weight of living things...

17 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 13, 2019. 13 comments

Trump to Endangered Species: Drop Dead

Trump to Endangered Species: Drop Dead

Every now and then in the hellacious 24-hour news cycle that is the Trump presidency, there comes a story that is so absurd and yet utterly predictable it kinda stops me in my tracks. This is one of those stories.

Per the New York Times:

WASHINGTON — The Trump administration on Monday announced that it would change the way the Endangered Species Act is applied, significantly weakening the...

13 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 12, 2019. 23 comments

The Swear Police Are Mad as Heck and Coming for Trump

The Swear Police Are Mad as Heck and Coming for Trump

West Virginia state Sen. Paul Hardesty has a hard job. He’s a self-described “conservative Democrat” in a heavily Trump-supporting, evangelical Christian district, and now he has at least several mad constituents on his hands.

After Trump’s speech in Greeneville, NC , last month, Hardesty got—wait for it—three whole phone calls from constituents complaining about the content of Trump’s latest...

23 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 10, 2019. 12 comments

Straight Pride Parade Organizer Slips Up, Calls Himself a Racist

Straight Pride Parade Organizer Slips Up, Calls Himself a Racist

The local organizer of Modesto, CA’s “Straight Pride ” parade made an oopsie at a public city council meeting on Wednesday, accidentally referring to his organization as a “totally peaceful racist group.” As many people in the audience pointed out to him immediately: Hey man, you said it!!

Per NBC News:

“You pulled the race card,” Don Grundmann, a chiropractor from the Bay Area said as he...

12 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 09, 2019. 10 comments

Red Flag Laws Won't End Gun Violence

Red Flag Laws Won't End Gun Violence

Following the El Paso and Dayton shootings , almost every politician is desperate to look like they’re taking decisive action on gun violence. And it appears that the Republicans have found their fix: red flag laws, sometimes known as Extreme Risk Protection Orders. During televised remarks on August 5, Trump explicitly endorsed “red flag laws,” the NRA supports them too. While that should...

10 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 09, 2019. 5 comments

Here’s Lindsey Graham, again promising to repeal Obamacare and reminding everyone of the stakes in 2

Here’s Lindsey Graham, again promising to repeal Obamacare and reminding everyone of the stakes in 2

Here’s Lindsey Graham, again promising to repeal Obamacare and reminding everyone of the stakes in 2020. On one hand, the chance for single-payer healthcare. On the other hand, a party determined to strip away many Americans’ last shred of coverage and bleed them of every last dollar.

5 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 09, 2019. 17 comments

Elizabeth Warren Narrowly Avoids Massive Lemonade Gaffe

Elizabeth Warren Narrowly Avoids Massive Lemonade Gaffe

Earlier today, I became extremely concerned about the state of Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s campaign in Iowa, due to this tweet:

Wow. Paying $7 for lemonade??? No. Not even $7. A full $10???? Sen. Warren, that is like, higher than ballpark prices. You got scammed! Warren should know better—after all, she’s a self-proclaimed capitalist ! She should simply have told those girls that she saw another...

17 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 09, 2019. 16 comments

LMAO Breitbart Is Tanking

LMAO Breitbart Is Tanking

Two and a half years ago, Steve Bannon’s Breitbart News was a juggernaut, attracting some 17.3 million views per month to its inflammatory, racist and often outright false stories . At the time, Breitbart was near the top of the conservative media landscape , occupying an outside place in the national discourse and absolutely raking in views through exploitable social media algorithms and...

16 Comments

Jack Crosbie Jack Crosbie Aug 08, 2019. 8 comments

Tucker Carlson Is Taking a Little Vacation From Fox News After Getting Super Racist on the Air

Tucker Carlson Is Taking a Little Vacation From Fox News After Getting Super Racist on the Air

Tucker Carlson: big white nationalist . Not much more to say! Every night on his immensely popular Fox News show, Carlson gets up there and openly espouses white nationalism . After his latest racist rant, during which he said white supremacy was a “hoax” like the Russia panic, Carlson announced at the end of his show last night that he’s taking a vacation. It’s certainly convenient...

8 Comments

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