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Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Apr 25, 2019.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Wins SCOTUS Popularity Contest, Obviously

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Wins SCOTUS Popularity Contest, Obviously

Pocket-sized badass Ruth Bader Ginsburg is obviously the first person we would invite to every party: she drinks , she throws shade , she is essentially an action movie star . Now, she is officially the most popular Supreme Court justice, according to a new national poll.

The survey, conducted by left-leaning organization Public Policy Polling (PPP), asked respondents to rate each individual...

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Mar 18, 2019.

Thousands of Confused Californians Accidentally Registered to an Ultra Conservative Party

Thousands of Confused Californians Accidentally Registered to an Ultra Conservative Party

Are you a free-spirited Californian who wanted to stick it to the brah by saying, “Nah, thanks brah,” to political parties and registering as an independent? You might have been one of the tens of thousands of state voters who accidentally registered for the American Independent Party (AIP)—an ultra conservative fringe party that supports, among other things, “Our Great Pro-Life...

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Mar 09, 2019.

Barron at the Trump

<i>Barron at the Trump</i>

I am Barron
I am ten

I am a city child
I live at The Trump Tower

There is a lobby which is enormously tacky
with gold-plated escalators and bald men with heart disease in it and a revolving
door of ousted transition staff in it

I spend an awful lot of time in the lobby
For instance every day I have to go to the
Desk Clerk to schedule a child’s massage for one

Then I stop by the Business Center to see...

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Dec 07, 2018.

Substitute Teacher Charged After Getting Caught Having Sex With Student in a Cemetery

Substitute Teacher Charged After Getting Caught Having Sex With Student in a Cemetery

Kelly Aldinger, a married 49-year-old Pennsylvania substitute teacher, has been charged with institutional sexual assault after being found having sex with a 17-year-old student in a local cemetery. If convicted, Aldinger could face seven years in prison and up to $15,000 in fines.

Lehigh Valley Live reports:

Police say they found Aldinger at 1:06 p.m. May 6 having sex with a 17-year-old Easton...

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Dec 06, 2018.

Groundhog Gets Head Stuck in a Can, Which Is Very Unchill

Groundhog Gets Head Stuck in a Can, Which Is Very Unchill

So some chill-as-hell groundhog was padding around Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, being generally dope, eating grasshoppers or whatever groundhogs eat (grasshoppers, I looked it up), when everything suddenly went black. Because he stuck his head in a can. Which is unchill.

The can-head incident happened on the campus of Lehigh University, which is the number one party school that is worth the money,...

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Dec 03, 2018.

Hillary Clinton Says Republicans Treat Women Kind of Like Terrorists Do

Hillary Clinton Says Republicans Treat Women Kind of Like Terrorists Do

During a rally in Cleveland on Thursday, Hillary Clinton amped up her usual inoffensive presidential rhetoric when she compared Republicans to ISIS, probably.

“Extreme views about women? We expect them from some of the terrorist groups, we expect that from people who don’t want to live in the modern world,” she said at the “commit to vote” event at Case Western Reserve University. “It’s a...

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Nov 28, 2018.

Karl Rove Loves Calling Bernie Sanders an 'Elderly, Dyspeptic Bilbo Baggins'

Karl Rove Loves Calling Bernie Sanders an 'Elderly, Dyspeptic Bilbo Baggins'

On Thursday evening’s edition of The O’Reilly Factor, Karl Rove taped his audition for Nick Cannon’s Wild N Out— his subject? Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders. Ooh, and you better believe Sanders felt the bern.

Apart from Hillary Clinton, Rove argued, the rest of the field is “really, really weak.”

“I call Bernie Sanders an elderly, dyspeptic Bilbo Baggins appearing like he was...

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Jul 09, 2018. 10 comments

Would You Do the Westworld Thing We Just Found Out You Can Maybe Do Despite Minor Glitches?

Would You Do the <i>Westworld </i>Thing We Just Found Out You Can Maybe Do Despite Minor Glitches?

Sunday’s episode of Westworld, “The Riddle of the Sphinx,” gave you (me) that follow-up panic attack to your (my) “San Junipero” episode of Black Mirror-related meltdown.

Spoilers, mmkay?

On this week’s Westworld Conspiracy Corner, Deputy Editor Julianne Escobedo Shepherd and I discuss the Lost-esque portrayal of a bot gone mad, whether or not we would invest in a similar procedure for...

10 Comments

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Jul 04, 2018. 16 comments

I Did It for the Blog

I Did It for the Blog
Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view original GIFGIF: Nick Stango

This Sunday, I got the worst cold I’ve gotten in three years, forcing me to become a mouth breather. My lips are chapped, I have a cold sore, and I keep snorting to keep mucus from running into my mouth. Plus, I have some kind of stomach virus that’s making me feel like I desperately have to poo but...

16 Comments

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Jul 04, 2018. 11 comments

Goodbye to Ellie Shechet, the World's Only Ansel Elgort Beat Reporter

Goodbye to Ellie Shechet, the World's Only Ansel Elgort Beat Reporter
Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view original GIFGIF: Bobby Finger

Ellie Shechet is a unique, thrilling combination of meticulous reporter, brilliant humorist, sharply insightful essayist, and die-hard Ansel Elgort fan. Her list of dietary restrictions is as long as her heart is big. And now she is leaving Jezebel.

While here, she has searched doggedly for many...

11 Comments

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Jun 30, 2018. 19 comments

Mayonnaise Is Next to Godliness in These Summer Salads

Mayonnaise Is Next to Godliness in These Summer Salads

Everything is stupid, and so are we. Welcome to Jezebel’s Stupidest Summer Ever, a season-long celebration of our worst, most idiotic opinions.

If you went to a barbecue this summer and said, “Hey, what’s for eats?” and the host (a nice guy who has a grill and wants you to know it!) said, “Dogs and burgs,” you’d probably think, “Sounds like a barbecue to me.” But then, moments later, you’d be...

19 Comments

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Jun 27, 2018. 14 comments

Westworld's Season Finale Has Me Feeling Mildly Nauseated and Generally Optimistic for the Robot Community

<i>Westworld</i>'s Season Finale Has Me Feeling Mildly Nauseated and Generally Optimistic for the Robot Community

The twists, turns, unclear timelines, hushed melodramatic voices, and presence of so much dust in Westworld Season 2 has had me feeling like I am a kidnapped sorority pledge, blindfolded and thrown into the back of Ashlynn’s Jeep Renegade and driven around campus 30 times until I am so disoriented that I’m heaving and weeping even though Britnee and Ashlynn said it was supposed to “the most...

14 Comments

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Jun 21, 2018. 5 comments

Sex and the City Season 4, Explained

<i>Sex and the City</i> Season 4, Explained

For the 20th anniversary of Sex and the City—which premiered on HBO on June 6, 1998 and went on to become iconic prestige television—Jezebel is doing a week of posts dedicated to our favorite band of sexual women friends.

In Season 4, we really get cooking. We get e-mail, we get passionate Maria, artist and temporary girlfriend to Samantha Jones, PR, we get more Trey-can’t-get-it-up drama, we...

5 Comments

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Jun 21, 2018. 9 comments

Stay in Westworld Long Enough and You're Gonna Cut Yourself Open

Stay in Westworld Long Enough and You're Gonna Cut Yourself Open

In the penultimate episode of Westworld’s second season, things are really getting moving. In the lawless world of the post-regulation, post-human park, it seems like there is no way to get out with your sanity in tact—you’re gonna cut yourself open, shoot yourself with something, start leaking goo.

Spoilers.

On this week’s Westworld Conspiracy Corner, Deputy Editor Julianne Escobedo Shepherd...

9 Comments

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Jun 20, 2018. 16 comments

Pro-Life Group Has Nothing to Say About Children in Cages

Pro-Life Group Has Nothing to Say About Children in Cages

Thousands of families are being separated at the United States border thanks to Attorney General Jeff Sessions’s unfathomably cruel “zero tolerance” policy. As a result, thousands of children are being kept in prison-like facilities; employees and volunteers are prohibited from touching them for any reason.

On Monday, PBS Newshour correspondent Lisa Desjardins tweeted a statement from the...

16 Comments

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Jun 20, 2018. 18 comments

Ivana Trump and an Italian Millionaire Would Like to Sell You Diet Pasta 

Ivana Trump and an Italian Millionaire Would Like to Sell You Diet Pasta 

NEW YORK, NY—On Wednesday, Ivana Trump, businesswoman, ex-wife of the president, and mother to his three most odious children, officially launched her campaign to fight adult obesity in the United States by way of a diet of pasta and cookies. The event was held at the headquarters of American excess itself, the Oak Room at the Plaza Hotel. A few initial questions: Why? Who asked her? What is...

18 Comments

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Jun 20, 2018. 19 comments

Powerlifting Coach on Don Jr.'s Terrible Form and the Dark Trap of Ego: 'It Gives Powerlifting a Bad Name'

Powerlifting Coach on Don Jr.'s Terrible Form and the Dark Trap of Ego: 'It Gives Powerlifting a Bad Name'

On Sunday, Donald Trump Jr. announced that he had reached a new personal record in the amount of weight that he could put on his back and squat. “Let’s go, Don!” shouts his spotter before looking away, toward what is probably a mirror, in the Instagram video. “Come on, big boy,” he says. After completing what seems to be a wobbly move, letting out an animalistic grunt, and slamming the barbell...

19 Comments

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Jun 11, 2018. 9 comments

Sex and the City Season 5, Explained

<i>Sex and the City </i>Season 5, Explained

For the 20th anniversary of Sex and the City—which premiered on HBO on June 6, 1998 and went on to become iconic prestige television—Jezebel is doing a week of posts dedicated to our favorite band of sexual women friends.

Season 5, aka 2002, aka the season of Miranda’s iconic Weight Watchers stint already?! Can you believe how time flies when you are whizzing through years of historic...

9 Comments

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Jun 09, 2018. 4 comments

Sex and the City Season 6, Explained

Sex and the City Season 6, Explained

For the 20th anniversary of Sex and the City—which premiered on HBO on June 6, 1998 and went on to become iconic prestige television—Jezebel is doing a week of posts dedicated to our favorite band of sexual women friends.

Seasons 6A and 6B (smushed together here for your viewing convenience) feature the gang as grown up as we’ll ever see them (until the movies which, please, I cannot get into...

4 Comments

Joanna Rothkopf Joanna Rothkopf Jun 09, 2018. 4 comments

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