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Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo Jul 15, 2019 at 13:36.

Guess Who's Moving Into the Chewable Bar Space in a More Disruptive Way

Guess Who's Moving Into the Chewable Bar Space in a More Disruptive Way

Today, the CEO of a Silicon Valley-spawned startup told TechCrunch that his company was “moving into the chewable bar space in a more disruptive way.” That is, they’re making snack bars.

It’s the kind of phrase that could only come from someone whose brain has been completely poisoned by his own company’s meaningless techie newspeak. But which company’s meaningless techie newspeak? Let’s...

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo Jul 15, 2019 at 13:11.

5 Times Jeff Bezos Tried to Warn Us Amazon Is Listening

5 Times Jeff Bezos Tried to Warn Us Amazon Is Listening

Last night, Bloomberg published an alarming report about the “thousands” of Amazon workers paid to listen to Alexa recordings captured in customers’ homes and offices . But users of the company’s digital assistant shouldn’t be too shocked. After all, CEO Jeff Bezos has been trying to tell us for years.

Bloomberg reports that Alexa’s “human helpers” are tasked with reviewing as many as 1,000...

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo Jul 14, 2019 at 13:18.

A Coconut Water Brand Is Offering Free Piss on Twitter Because This Is the Future

A Coconut Water Brand Is Offering Free Piss on Twitter Because This Is the Future

When they looked to the future, some in the 20th century imagined wondrous technological advancements. Others foresaw a world of global totalitarian control. The future we ended up with, however, has had a little bit of both—plus a beverage company offering to send a hater some human urine on social media.

On Wednesday, coconut water maker Vita Coco began responding to some of its harshest...

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo Jul 13, 2019 at 13:58.

What Your Airline Won't Tell You About Those Creepy Airport Face Scanners

What Your Airline Won't Tell You About Those Creepy Airport Face Scanners

Last week, a Twitter conversation between an airline passenger and JetBlue went viral after she asked about the company’s creepy facial recognition cameras. Mostly, the passenger seemed shocked to learn airlines were scanning customers’ faces at all.

“Instead of scanning my boarding pass or handing over my passport, I looked into a camera,” wrote writer MacKenzie Fegan. “Did facial recognition...

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo Jul 12, 2019.

1 in 20 Internet Users Say It Has Caused Them 'Unbearable' Pain

1 in 20 Internet Users Say It Has Caused Them 'Unbearable' Pain

If you’ve experienced terrible pain after negative experiences online, you’re not alone. New research from Microsoft suggests that such agony is widespread, with over a third of global internet users reporting “moderate or severe pain” from online experiences, including 5 percent of survey respondents who said they suffered “unbearable pain.”

The results were released yesterday as part of...

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo Jul 11, 2019.

I Can't Believe This Dopey, Busted-Ass Website Is What Messed Up Our Lives

I Can't Believe This Dopey, Busted-Ass Website Is What Messed Up Our Lives

Like many people, I don’t use Facebook a lot these days, but when I idly visited the world’s largest digital nation-state this afternoon, I had an odd realization: Wow, it looks like ass.

Of course, it’s easy to criticize Facebook. A poll released on Friday found that 60 percent of Americans don’t trust Facebook with their data “at all.” We complain about it all the time. Even Facebook itself

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo Jul 11, 2019.

You Know How This All Ends, Don't You?

You Know How This All Ends, Don't You?

Brands—they’re just like us, only thirstier. Just last night, Pornhub sent out a press release claiming it was “extremely interested” in buying Tumblr, the distressed blogging platform Verizon is reportedly looking to unload .

TechCrunch explained why this is a bad idea, but there’s a more fundamental question here: Sure, it has the money, but is Pornhub full of shit? The company is notorious...

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo Jul 10, 2019.

Some Employees Knew Yahoo Was Compromised Years Before Massive Hack Was Revealed

Some Employees Knew Yahoo Was Compromised Years Before Massive Hack Was Revealed

In September, just two months after Verizon announced plans to acquire Yahoo, the search and email giant revealed that state-sponsored hackers had stolen the personal information of 500 million users . According to Yahoo, it began seriously investigating the attack this summer, but the company now says at least some employees knew of the breach as early as 2014.

In an SEC report filed...

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo Jul 10, 2019.

Let's All Take a Long, Deep Breath

Let's All Take a Long, Deep Breath

Humanity, man. We’ve had a good run, and have come up with some really neat stuff, but I think we could all use a bit of a breather. Nothing permanent, just a short break where we stop for a moment and maybe reconsider our priorities.

I’m not saying all of our priorities are bad. Some of them are quite good! But it’s hard to escape the feeling that somewhere, at some point, things started...

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo Jul 08, 2019.

Toronto Airport Says Cannabis Trash Cans Are Not 'Free Weed' Bins

Toronto Airport Says Cannabis Trash Cans Are Not 'Free Weed' Bins

Toronto’s Pearson Airport has an important message for would-be stem-pickers: The weed there is not up for grabs.

Last week, Canada legalized recreational cannabis, becoming the second country in the world to formally do so. While cannabis is legal within Canada, however, it is illegal to transport it across the country’s borders. To address this, Pearson Airport set up some handy disposal...

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo Jul 03, 2019.

Trump to Anthony Scaramucci: Your Term of Employment Has Ceased!

Trump to Anthony Scaramucci: Your Term of Employment Has Ceased!

According to CNBC, President Trump has “remove[d]” Anthony Scaramucci from his post as White House communications director. Per William Joel:

Anthony works in the grocery store

Savin’ his pennies for someday

Mama Leone left a note on the door

She said, Sonny, move out to the country

Workin’ too hard can give you

A heart attack (ack)

You oughta know by now (oughta know)

Who needs a house out in...

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo Jul 02, 2019.

Families of Orlando Victims Sue Google, Facebook and Twitter for Giving ISIS 'Material Support'

Families of Orlando Victims Sue Google, Facebook and Twitter for Giving ISIS 'Material Support'

Six months after a gunman walked into Orlando’s Pulse nightclub and opened fire, families representing three of his victims have sued the world’s biggest social media sites, accusing them of providing ISIS with “material support.”

According to the lawsuit, Facebook, Twitter and YouTube (which is owned by Google) all “provided the terrorist group ISIS with accounts they use to spread extremist...

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo Jun 11, 2019. 12 comments

Which Cyberpunk Keanu Reeves Protagonist Will You Be in the Future?

Which Cyberpunk Keanu Reeves Protagonist Will You Be in the Future?

If there’s anything I’ve learned from futuristic movies, it’s that, at some point, each and every one of us will become Keanu Reeves.

Whether the days to come are filled with code-cracking dolphins or humans strung up like Christmas lights in a (frankly implausible) battery array, the everyperson of the future looks, talks, and moves like Mr. Keanu Charles Reeves—according to Hollywood, at...

12 Comments

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo May 29, 2019. 16 comments

Catfish Fetishists: The Men Who Get Off on Getting Scammed Online

Catfish Fetishists: The Men Who Get Off on Getting Scammed Online

It’s Thursday night and Eddie is looking for action. He scrolls through Twitter hoping to find the woman of his dreams. Finally, he finds her, or someone who looks a lot like her: A woman going by the name “Katfish Princess” who describes herself as “hot, greedy and completely fake.”

“Destroy your life for these huge fake tits!” she tweets. And then he sends her cash.

Eddie is one of a growing...

16 Comments

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo May 25, 2019.

My Posts Were Good

My Posts Were Good
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i was a huge dipshit this year just like last year but at least i quit drinking and did some good blogs. easy to remember all the bad stuff in 2016 but there was also some good stuff, mostly thanks to me.

Essential Viewing

1. behold this headline and weep

Werner Herzog: Would You Die for the Pokémons? Would You...

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo May 18, 2019. 23 comments

Reddit Magicians Are Fiercely Debating How to Summon a 'Big Tittie' Demon

Reddit Magicians Are Fiercely Debating How to Summon a 'Big Tittie' Demon

Some are drawn to the dark mystic arts in a search for ultimate knowledge. Others, out of desire to impose their will on the world. Some folks, however, are just trying to get laid.

Late last month, a lusty Redditor using the handle Tacodirtshield1 posed a simple question to Reddit’s r/occult community: What’s the best way to conjure a hot, sexy demon to have sex with?

“How do I summon a...

23 Comments

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo May 08, 2019. 23 comments

Disney's New Release Schedule Has Me Thinking a Lot About Mortality

Disney's New Release Schedule Has Me Thinking a Lot About Mortality

On Tuesday, Disney updated its list of scheduled movie releases, providing tantalizing new details for fans of Earth’s preeminent sequel-making omnicorp—and forcing me to think farther into the future than I ever have before.

I’m not joking. Three new Star Wars films are now scheduled for December of 2022, 2024, and 2026. That last one is seven years from now. If the 22nd Amendment remains...

23 Comments

Hudson Hongo Hudson Hongo Apr 26, 2019. 23 comments

'Broken Jaw, Split Lip, Broken Teeth': E-Scooter Accidents Can Seriously Fuck You Up

'Broken Jaw, Split Lip, Broken Teeth': E-Scooter Accidents Can Seriously Fuck You Up

Look around, and you’ll find no shortage of stories about the rise of injuries linked to rentable e-scooters. But until you’ve read firsthand accounts of shattered arms and metal plates in faces, it’s hard to comprehend just how completely these little scooties can wreck your shit .

Earlier this year, a Consumer Reports investigation identified over 1,500 injuries and four deaths connected to...

23 Comments

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