LOADING ...

GuanoLad's posts - English uPOST

GuanoLad GuanoLad Dec 17, 2018.

Please Read My Screenplay

Please Read My Screenplay

This is one of the nerdiest hipsterish things I could possibly ask of anyone, but I recently completed a screenplay (third draft) and would love to grab some feedback from a few canny folk to help me improve it.

I have struggled to finish screenplays most of the time. Though I’ve begun about twelve of them, only one ever reached a final draft (link to that one here). It started to frustrate me...

GuanoLad GuanoLad Aug 06, 2018. 6 comments

Princess of Alderaan - A Star Wars Story

Princess of Alderaan - A Star Wars Story

I’m on a roll. This one only took me a couple of hours to put together.

As I was putting this one together, I realised that I didn’t have a clear idea of the story I would tell about Leia at age 16. This is around the same era we see her in her brief appearance in Rebels, so all those other associated characters are still around and will no doubt interact with her, perhaps only indirectly, but...

6 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Aug 05, 2018. 7 comments

Rogue Squadron - A Star Wars Story

Rogue Squadron - A Star Wars Story

I spent all last week fiddling around making another of my posters for films that don’t exist, this time for another Star Wars idea I had of casting Justin Long as Wedge Antilles.

I posted this on Twitter but got absolutely no reaction to it at all, so I figure I’d post it here too, just because I can.

The other cast I’ve added to the list are mostly random. Just so you know, Chiwetel Ejiofor...

7 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Jun 21, 2018. 3 comments

Have You Got A "Clue"?

Have You Got A "Clue"?

I was on Twitter and this image of the cast of the movie Clue, painted as caricatures by Jeff Delgado, came up. Reduced to stylised prominent facial features, it made me look at the actors in a new way, and made me wonder who I would cast in a remake, if I wanted contemporary actors who looked very similar and had some comedy chops too.

So I went googling, and decided that the best ones that...

3 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Jun 21, 2018. 10 comments

Kitster - A Star Wars Story

Kitster - A Star Wars Story

I follow actor Rahul Kohli on Twitter, he plays Dr Ravi Chakrabarti on iZombie, and he can be quite amusing indeed while he swears at everyone and everything like a drunken sailor.

One of the things he will often reference is how much he wants to play the character of Kitster in a Star Wars movie. You remember Kitster, he was Anakin’s childhood friend in Mos Espa on Tatooine. I don’t think...

10 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Jun 06, 2018. 4 comments

Footrot Flats - A New Zealand classic

Footrot Flats - A New Zealand classic

Britain is on a roll with live-action / CGI versions of their classic storybook characters that have been around for decades. Paddington is a delight, Peter Rabbit was far better than I anticipated, and Christopher Robin looks like it will be a heart-wrenching success too.

So what other stories of this ilk are available to mine for box office success? Australia has a few that they’ve tried...

4 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Apr 09, 2018. 10 comments

Aurebesh Decoded (updated)

Aurebesh Decoded (updated)

In today’s io9 there is a post revealing some details about a character in Solo, gleaned from a LEGO set. I was looking at how cool the character is, with his animal skull helmet with words carved in it, and wondered if anybody had figured out what the words were.

Reddit gave it a go a couple of times but ultimately came back empty-handed. They figure some of the letters are not Aurebesh, or...

10 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Apr 09, 2018. 5 comments

Doctor Who: Logo-polis

Doctor Who: Logo-polis

I was looking at the new Doctor Who logo that was released a week or so back, and wondered to myself if I could track down the typeface they used. Maybe it would be easy for fans to make it themselves, for scaling purposes or something.

A brief reverse search using Font Squirrel immediately gave me a list that included Marylin, a free font created by Benoît Sjöholm. It’s not exact, but close...

5 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Oct 24, 2017. 2 comments

TV Poetry

TV Poetry

Earlier this year, when I was bored, I had a melody in my head and started writing poetry to that tune about some TV shows. I thought I’d share those poems with you now.

A couple of the shows may be obscure to you. Oh well, it’s a good excuse for you to do some Googling.

The tune is the Cruella DeVille song from 101 Dalmatians.

Frasier Crane, Frasier Crane
His nervous disposition frays your...

2 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Sep 27, 2017. 11 comments

TBT: Binge-watching an old show - Early Edition

TBT: Binge-watching an old show - Early Edition

The 1990s had a lot of genre shows, but most were space operas, and most of those were Star Trek spin-offs. Having come out of the tail end of shows like Quantum Leap, and heading into new ground with shows like the X-Files, there was now room for a gentle show with only mild supernatural elements. For example: Early Edition.

I’ve never watched this show before, but it was a favourite of a...

11 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Sep 07, 2017. 13 comments

Wherever there is danger he'll be there! Danger Mouse trailer

Wherever there is danger he'll be there! Danger Mouse trailer

A teaser for the rebooted Danger Mouse has appeared, and it pokes a little bit of fun at a familiar teaser of recent times.

DM is voiced by Alexander Armstrong, Kevin Eldon is Penfold, Stephen Fry is Colonel K, and Lena Headey is a new character named Jeopardy Mouse.

13 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Sep 06, 2017. 11 comments

Serenada would have liked this - "Supernatural" song parody

Serenada would have liked this - "Supernatural" song parody

Hannah and Hilly Hindi (that’s their real names) have been making names for themselves in nerd-dom making great parody music videos of geeky properties like Doctor Who and Lord of the Rings. This is their take on the TV series Supernatural and Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off. Stay tuned to the end.

11 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Aug 27, 2017. 6 comments

Not Coming To A Cinema Anywhere Near You

Not Coming To A Cinema Anywhere Near You

One of the things I like to do for fun is make movie posters, which would be a fine career choice except the posters I make are for movies that aren’t being made.

This morning, after reading about there being another Star Wars movie planned for 2020 but nobody knows yet what it will be about, I decided to make a poster for one of my wishful thinking ideas. It’s one that I know would never get...

6 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Aug 22, 2017. 7 comments

Ex-Top Gear team's new show title: 'The Grand Tour'

Ex-Top Gear team's new show title: 'The Grand Tour'

And it already has a Facebook page.

The whole team are back, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May. I’m anticipating a show mostly the same as the old, though certain of those features are owned by the BBC and won’t be coming with them.

The set up this time is they will tour the country and the world, using a mobile studio in a tent. Hilarity, presumably, will ensue.

Coming later this...

7 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Aug 21, 2017. 13 comments

They'll never stop trying to make Video Game movies

They'll never stop trying to make Video Game movies

After this article about Missile Command and Centipede movies and the upcoming Assassin’s Creed, Warcraft, and Tomb Raider, it’s clear the hope for a decent movie based on a video game will never die.

But it’s a struggle to get it right. Nobody seems to have grasped the way to make it work. Even though most games have a narrative of their own, a direct translation doesn’t seem to ever be on...

13 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Aug 20, 2017. 11 comments

Stephen Fry to leave QI, new Host will be Sandi Toksvig

Stephen Fry to leave QI, new Host will be Sandi Toksvig

As we are about to embark on series M of QI, the UK panel show where our knowledge of interesting facts is reassessed, poked and prodded and laughed at, which will be starting this Friday UK time, news has just hit that this will be perennial host Stephen Fry’s final series, and he will bow to frequent guest Sandi Toksvig as new host from next year.

Toksvig herself has just recently ended her...

11 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Aug 18, 2017. 9 comments

How To Make a Cheesy Comedy Movie Poster

How To Make a Cheesy Comedy Movie Poster

How to make a cheesy comedy movie poster:

Take a bold bright colour - blue, yellow or orange - and add a subtle radial gradient.Compose a title-block using modern fonts in different weights and spot colours.Assemble images of the cast with their heads pasted on a stand-in’s body. Make no attempt to match the lighting or add in shadows.Include a catchy phrase that implies something that doesn’t...

9 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Aug 18, 2017. 15 comments

I made another fake movie poster

I made another fake movie poster

Instead of doing proper work that I ought to be doing, this afternoon I wasted my time on another poster for a movie that doesn’t exist. After a fan tweeted to Karen Gillan that she’d watch a movie with her in it even if it was about postage stamps, I came up with a plot and cast for just such a film.

Ben Whishaw plays Simon, a postal courier, who delivers packages to the small villages of the...

15 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Aug 18, 2017. 10 comments

Tim Omundson unwell after suffering a stroke [updated]

Tim Omundson unwell after suffering a stroke [updated]

Tim Omundson, one of my favourite character actors from such shows as Psych, Galavant, Supernatural, and an upcoming stint on Lucifer, amongst many others, suddenly went quiet on Twitter recently, and it seems it was due to a serious illness.

While in Tampa Airport he suffered a mild stroke, and was rushed to surgery. According to numerous (fan) reports, but kept on the down-low so details are...

10 Comments

GuanoLad GuanoLad Jul 02, 2015. 1 comments

1 Comments

Language