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Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 13, 2019 at 01:14. 12 comments

The NFL Has A Painkiller Crisis That It Never Wants To Go Away

The NFL Has A Painkiller Crisis That It Never Wants To Go Away

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here .

The same drug that killed Prince and Tom Petty killed Tyler Skaggs, too. If you remember, Skaggs was a pitcher for the General Southern California Area Angels who died at age 27 in July without any warning (without any publicly visible warning, anyway) that he...

12 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 11, 2019 at 01:00. 24 comments

Yes, You Can Refer To Your Favorite Team As “We”

Yes, You Can Refer To Your Favorite Team As “We”
FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about why baseball has no left-handed shortstops, flossing, Worcestershire sauce, toenails for teeth, and more.

Your letters:

Roger:

Should fans say “we won/lost/suck/etc.” when talking about whatever team they support, or use “they”...

24 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 06, 2019. 23 comments

Football Is The Last Great American Vice

Football Is The Last Great American Vice

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here .

My wife left me. I had to a shitload of work to do early in August, but she didn’t want to be stuck in the house with three overheated, overly bored kids and one surly husband. So she packed up the car and drove the little ones to the Finger Lakes while I...

23 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 06, 2019. 20 comments

Antonio Brown And The Raiders Have Conspired To Ruin Every Goddamn Thing

Antonio Brown And The Raiders Have Conspired To Ruin Every Goddamn Thing

Let us start with a hearty LOL. The Oakland Raiders traded for downfield savant Antonio Brown during the offseason, handed him $30-plus million in guaranteed money, and now stand ready to piss that investment away in the quickest, most Raiders-like fashion possible. Adam Schefter is now reporting that after Brown publicly bitched about being fined by the team, freshman GM and defender of THE...

20 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 05, 2019.

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: New England Patriots

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: New England Patriots

Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews here.

Your team: Orchids of Asia. Real change of pace for someone in this organization to have THEIR dick grabbed!

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Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 04, 2019.

Is It Worth Being A Good Person In 2019 America?

Is It Worth Being A Good Person In 2019 America?
Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view original GIFIllustration: Jim Cooke (G/O Media)FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about doctors, the Mariners, capture the flag, being followed, and more.


Your letters:

Stosh:

It could be that this has...

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 03, 2019. 9 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Los Angeles Rams

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Los Angeles Rams

Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Rams. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Los Angeles Rams. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: GUHHHHHHHHHHH

Your 2018 record: 13-3. NFC Champions. Huh. That 13-3 reminds me of ANOTHER 13-3 somewhere out there. What 13-3 could that be? Oh yes, right…

Three points....

9 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 30, 2019. 10 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: New Orleans Saints

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: New Orleans Saints

Some people are fans of the New Orleans Saints. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New Orleans Saints. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.


Your team:

Your 2018 record: ROLL THE TAPE!

While the Saints and their fans spend the rest of eternity wallowing in their own victimhood, let’s quickly take note of...

10 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 30, 2019. 23 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Kansas City Chiefs

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Kansas City Chiefs

Some people are fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: Kansas City Chiefs.

Your 2018 record: 12-4. Third-highest scoring team in NFL history. Best Chiefs team of my lifetime. Home field advantage through the...

23 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 29, 2019. 24 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Los Angeles Chargers

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Los Angeles Chargers

Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Los Angeles Chargers. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: Los Angeles Chargers.

Your 2018 record: 12-4. I’m still not over how this C-List Batman villain of a team went out in the playoffs. The Chargers crushed the...

24 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 28, 2019. 24 comments

What’s The Worst Cooking Mistake You’ve Ever Eaten Anyway?

What’s The Worst Cooking Mistake You’ve Ever Eaten Anyway?
FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about soccer snobs, voiceover acting, bad keys, eating wrappers, and more.

Your letters:

Kyle:

Once in college, I was stoned off my ass and accidentally seasoned some strip steaks with a shitload of cinnamon, mistaking it for seasoned...

24 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 27, 2019. 24 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Dallas Cowboys

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Dallas Cowboys

Some people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: Dallas Cowboys.

Your 2018 record: 10-6. These Cowboys overachieved and won the NFC East last season. They also somehow got good value out of giving up an oil baron’s ransom...

24 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 27, 2019. 11 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Indianapolis Colts

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Indianapolis Colts

Some people are fans of the Indianapolis Colts. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Indianapolis Colts. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: You killed him.

Your 2018 record: 10-6. After a 1-5 start where it looked like new head coach Frank Reich was in way over his head (and he was ), the Colts ripped...

11 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 25, 2019. 22 comments

What Andrew Luck Means

What Andrew Luck Means

Given the circumstances, it’s remarkable Andrew Luck wasn’t playing for the Detroit Lions. The Colts franchise QB is retiring less than two weeks before the NFL season is slated to begin. There’s already a host of people, namely idiot Colts fans, ready to castigate Luck for his timing, but Luck is hardly the first NFL player to bow out of the sport in what ought to be his prime, nor will he...

22 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 23, 2019. 24 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Philadelphia Eagles

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Philadelphia Eagles

Some people are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.


Your team: Philadelphia Eagles.

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 Your 2018 record: 9-7. Let’s see how it ended!

Oh that’s right!...

24 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 22, 2019. 7 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Chicago Bears

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Chicago Bears

Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: Doinkity-doink -doink!

Your 2018 record: DOINK AND DOINK. Our DOINK, who art in DOINK, hallowed be thy DOINK-DOINK…

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7 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 22, 2019. 17 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Houston Texans

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Houston Texans

Some people are fans of the Houston Texans. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Houston Texans. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.


Your team: Houston Texans.

Your 2018 record: 11-5. AFC South champions. This came after an 0-3 start in which the Texans blew a game against the eventual Super Bowl champs because...

17 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 21, 2019. 24 comments

Shut Up With "LETTT’SSSS GOOOOOOO" Already

Shut Up With "LETTT’SSSS GOOOOOOO" Already
FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about ex-girlfriends, pens, secession, King Kong at the plate, and more.

Your letters:

Joe:

When did “LETTT’SSSS GOOOOOOO!!!!” become the only thing athletes say when they do good?!? Did Mickey Mantle scream that when he homered??...

24 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 21, 2019. 10 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Baltimore Ravens

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Baltimore Ravens

Some people are fans of the Baltimore Ravens. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Baltimore Ravens. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: Baltimore Ravens

Your 2018 record: 10-6. Division title. Playoff berth. Changing of the guard at QB. Let’s see how it all ended!

Oh right, you got trampled...

10 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 20, 2019. 10 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Seattle Seahawks

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Seattle Seahawks

Some people are fans of the Seattle Seahawks. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Seattle Seahawks. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: Seattle Seahawks.

Your 2018 record: 10-6, with a 6-1 finish. It was supposed to be a rebuilding year for this dilapidated shitpile, but it turned out that the Seahawks...

10 Comments

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