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Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban yesterday at 19:30. 1 comments

RJD2 -- 'Work It Out'

RJD2 -- 'Work It Out'

Traffic sucks, so why not start your morning off with some music? You provide the toast and we’ll provide the jams.

I want to be able to dance.

1 Comments

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 22, 2019 at 21:22. 18 comments

BMW's New CEO Is Doubling Down on the Strategy That Got the Last CEO Ousted

BMW's New CEO Is Doubling Down on the Strategy That Got the Last CEO Ousted
The Morning ShiftAll your daily car news in one convenient place. Isn't your time more important?   

Good luck with that BMW, good luck with that Mini, and wow, a Mitsubishi dealer is going to need a hell of a lot of luck with that. All that and more in the Morning Shift for July 22, 2019.

1st Gear: It’s a Bold Strategy, Cotton

In what Automotive News is declaring a “bold way forward,” new BMW...

18 Comments

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 17, 2019 at 02:05. 11 comments

The Tesla Model S and Model X Base Models Just Got Dropped

The Tesla Model S and Model X Base Models Just Got Dropped

Tesla, at least for the moment, has quite the limited manufacturing capacity. For most consumers, that doesn’t matter one whit. But one of the end results of that is Tesla’s lineup is constantly shifting and moving in subtle ways. So it may not surprise you that Tesla banished the base model “standard range” Tesla Model X and Tesla Model S from its lineup.

In an effort to “simplify” its...

11 Comments

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 15, 2019.

Fiat Chrysler Is Changing The Way It Drops Cash So It Can Get Better

Fiat Chrysler Is Changing The Way It Drops Cash So It Can Get Better
The Morning ShiftAll your daily car news in one convenient place. Isn't your time more important?   

Good Morning! Welcome to The Morning Shift, your roundup of the auto news you crave, all in one place every weekday morning. Here are the important stories you need to know.

1st Gear: Money Is How You Change Things

Fiat Chrysler’s been in a rough way as of late. Not only has it completely failed...

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 15, 2019.

Prince – 'Baby I'm A Star'

Prince – 'Baby I'm A Star'

Traffic sucks, so why not start your morning off with some music? You provide the toast and we’ll provide the jams.

Baby, you are a star.

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 15, 2019.

Mr. President – 'Coco Jamboo'

Mr. President – 'Coco Jamboo'

Traffic sucks, so why not start your morning off with some music? You provide the toast and we’ll provide the jams.

This is the greatest song of all time, right? Right?

Just checking.

Contact the author at ballaban@jalopnik.com.
Public PGP key
PGP fingerprint: 0D03 F37B 4C96 021E 4292 7B12 E080 0D0B 5968 F14E

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 15, 2019.

What It's Like to Drive a Solar-Powered Car

What It's Like to Drive a Solar-Powered Car

There was a sharp, stabbing pain in my back. My left shoulder was wedged in the midst of some sort of metal cage. I was too old, too fat, and too uncomfortable to do anything. I was driving a car powered by nothing but the sun.

The Zephyr is built by a team of largely undergraduate students at UC Berkeley, known as CalSol. With over 7,000 miles on its odometer already, it is fully road legal,...

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 15, 2019.

Firefighters Attempt To Extinguish Car Fire And Everything Goes To Hell

Firefighters Attempt To Extinguish Car Fire And Everything Goes To Hell
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Here's a little cooking recipe, handed down from my step-uncle's roommate's brother's sister. Take one Mercedes, and completely engulf it in flames. Leave it on top of a big hill. Don't set the parking brake. Add firefighters, a high pressure fire hose, and now water everywhere to reduce the friction. The result is...

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 15, 2019.

What Language Is The Lotus Evija From?

What Language Is The Lotus Evija From?

Lotus has officially confirmed its all-electric “hypercar,” of which 130 examples will be built, will be dubbed the Lotus Evija. Evija... Evija.... it glistens on the tongue. But what does it mean?

“Evija,” according to the press release issued by Lotus, “means ‘the first in existence’ or ‘the living one’.” It’s being called the “first in existence,” the company goes on, not because it is the...

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 15, 2019.

Tesla Is Bringing Body Repairs In House Because Everyone Else (????) Is Too Slow (????)

Tesla Is Bringing Body Repairs In House Because Everyone Else (????) Is Too Slow (????)

Tesla drivers have been complaining for a long time now about their cars with even minor body damage taking weeks, if not months, to repair. Very often, the shops doing the work blame a lack of parts from Tesla itself. But now Tesla CEO Elon Musk is saying that the company is bringing bodywork repairs in-house, because that should speed things up.

Tesla has been consistent in blaming the...

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 15, 2019.

Ferrari Has a New Contraption to Cover Up its Camera And I Love it

Ferrari Has a New Contraption to Cover Up its Camera And I Love it

Formula One is definitively at its best when people are trying all sorts of crazy tricks. Ferrari’s latest one —that of covering up its cockpit camera usually used for television broadcasts—is either brilliant or hilariously dumb. Ferrari was ordered to stop it. It didn’t. So it was ordered to stop it again. It didn’t. It’s now been ordered to stop it a third time, and Ferrari has once again...

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 15, 2019.

This Is How They Unload Coal Trains

This Is How They Unload Coal Trains
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I’ve never thought about how coal actually gets used. It came out of the ground, it goes into a power plant, soot comes out, and West Virginia dies happy and very, very early. The end. Sure, it had to go onto a train at some point, and that train was probably unloaded by Dickensian street urchins with shovels or...

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 14, 2019.

Otis Redding -- 'Cigarettes and Coffee'

Otis Redding -- 'Cigarettes and Coffee'

Traffic sucks, so why not start your morning off with some music? You provide the toast and we’ll provide the jams.

Let’s all ease into the weekend, yeah?

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 14, 2019.

D.A. Wallach -- 'Long Way Down'

D.A. Wallach -- 'Long Way Down'

Traffic sucks, so why not start your morning off with some music? You provide the toast and we’ll provide the jams.

Keep your chin up. You’ve got a day of reading Jalopnik ahead of you.

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 14, 2019.

Jamiroquai – 'Canned Heat'

Jamiroquai – 'Canned Heat'

Traffic sucks, so why not start your morning off with some music? You provide the toast and we’ll provide the jams.

You know this boogie is for real.

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 14, 2019.

Comment Of The Day: Dad Joke Edition

Comment Of The Day: Dad Joke Edition
Comment Of The DayYour good comments.  

Here is your Comment of the Day, against every fiber of my being. I was outvoted. Get ready to laugh. And then die.

Read more!

GUFFAW.

Congratulations, Rosin, on your disturbingly hilarious COTD win. Please don’t drink brake fluid . Although now you may want to.

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 14, 2019.

ZZ Top -- 'Doubleback'

ZZ Top -- 'Doubleback'

Traffic sucks, so why not start your morning off with some music? You provide the toast and we’ll provide the jams.

Nobody really remembers the plot of Back to the Future Part III. All they remember is the train. The flying, time-traveling train.

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 14, 2019.

Lockheed Martin's Quiz Is Crap So Take Our Better One

Lockheed Martin's Quiz Is Crap So Take Our Better One

Lockheed Martin, a defense contractor worth billions and billions of dollars thanks to its work making war machines, is a befuddling company. On the one hand, they have people smart enough to make those machines. On the other hand, they made an incredibly dumb quiz about those machines.

A quiz entitled “Which Lockheed Martin aircraft are you?”

Because instruments which are fundamentally...

Michael Ballaban Michael Ballaban Jul 14, 2019.

Do you put your gloves on one finger at a time?

Do you put your gloves on one finger at a time?

Do you put your gloves on one finger at a time? Do you never go outside without a hat? Do you politely refuse a car for speed-related reasons? Clickhole has you covered.

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