LOADING ...

White People's posts - English uPOST

Jay Connor Jay Connor Aug 16, 2019 at 20:51. 3 comments

#FundraisingWhileBlack: White Woman Pulls Gun on Black Teenagers Raising Money for Their Football Team

#FundraisingWhileBlack: White Woman Pulls Gun on Black Teenagers Raising Money for Their Football Team

Well, hello there!

In today’s edition of #ExistingWhileBlack, we have a despicable human being named Jerri Kelly, who pulled a gun on a group of black teenagers whose only crime was raising money for their high school football team.

ABC News has the scoop:

The wife of an Arkansas jail administrator was arrested and charged with assault several days after police say she pulled a gun on four...

3 Comments

Anne Branigin Anne Branigin Jul 10, 2019. 23 comments

White Woman Discovers Racism

White Woman Discovers Racism

In the latest episode of Red Table Talk, Jada Pinkett Smith, alongside her mother, Adrienne Banfield Norris, hosted former Sex and the City star Kristin Davis for a probing, earnest talk about the complications of transracial adoption.

Titled “Should White People Adopt Black Kids,” the discussion featured Davis talking at length about her experiences as the mother of two black children: a...

23 Comments

Damon Young Damon Young Jul 06, 2019.

An Interview With The Only Person Left In America Who Actually Admits To Being Racist

An Interview With The Only Person Left In America Who Actually Admits To Being Racist

After reading some of the racially-tinged responses to both the Michael Vick story and #laughingwhileBlack, I became dismayed. Sad, even. Not because of the racism. Racism by itself doesn't sadden me. I've grown so used to it that, on Thursdays, I congeal it into a gel and use it as deodorant. (And it's surprisingly effective.) But none of these people actually seem to want to admit that...

Damon Young Damon Young Jul 01, 2019. 22 comments

The Case for Washcloths: Why White People Need to Wash Their Damn Legs

The Case for Washcloths: Why White People Need to Wash Their Damn Legs

I really don’t know what to write to introduce this video, so I’m just going to be literal. It has recently been revealed, through various social media platforms, that some people who happen to be white have boycotted the entire leg- and hand-washing experience. This information was—and is—well, perplexing, and I try to make sense of it all.

22 Comments

Damon Young Damon Young Jun 29, 2019. 19 comments

White People Are Boring

White People Are Boring

Soggy toilet paper sheet repurposed as a mesh romper for bougie chipmunks David Brooks emerged from his seltzer waterbed today to warn us that the Democrats will definitely lose the Presidential election if we don’t remember to be as damp as he is. He is maybe not wrong—perhaps a can of La Croix might have the best chance of beating Trump—but that’s not the point. It’s that the journey to...

19 Comments

Anne Branigin Anne Branigin Jun 28, 2019. 16 comments

White Business Owners Claimed Cherokee Ancestry—and Got $300 Million in Government Money

White Business Owners Claimed Cherokee Ancestry—and Got $300 Million in Government Money

If you’ve spent any time in the South or Midwest, you’ve probably heard a few people claim to have Native American ancestry (“Do you see these eyebrows? This bone structure?”) And, chances are, if they had to name the tribe, they’d tell you their great-great-great grandmother was half-Cherokee.

Well, this next story concerns a very particular set of white persons claiming Native ancestry. What...

16 Comments

Damon Young Damon Young Jun 18, 2019.

Kanye West Is What Happens When Whiteness Becomes The Standard

Kanye West Is What Happens When Whiteness Becomes The Standard

Admittedly, reminding myself that Whiteness isn't any sort of standard to measure myself by is a concept I still wrestle with. Even today, as I'm acknowledging the existence of White privilege, of White supremacy, and of the creation of Whiteness, I have to consciously urge myself not to allow it to infect me. But it's so pervasive, so ingrained, so subtle, so sneaky, that despite my...

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Jun 13, 2019. 24 comments

White People Want Trump

White People Want Trump

Nothing matters.

The 10,796 false or misleading statements don’t matter. The Muslim travel ban doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter that his administration literally locked children in cages . That the most powerful man in the country sat in an official meeting and insisted that some black immigrants come from shithole countries doesn’t matter. Excusing white supremacist violence doesn’t...

24 Comments

Lawrence Ware Lawrence Ware Jun 07, 2019.

Dear White People: We Don't Give A Damn About Your "Black Friend"

Dear White People: We Don't Give A Damn About Your "Black Friend"

It’s usually uttered when a White person is caught unintentionally doing something racially problematic. The statement is used as proof of the person’s ability to have meaningful interactions with people of another race. It is used as a buffer against current and future claims of anti-Black tendencies: “I’m not racist. My best friend is Black.”

The problem with the statement is that it...

Monique Judge Monique Judge May 25, 2019. 17 comments

The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: Some Rules and Reminders for People Who Read The Root

The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: Some Rules and Reminders for People Who Read The Root

It’s the Friday before a major holiday, and the regular writer of the Clapback Mailbag, Michael Harriot, has decided to take the day off for whatever it is he does when he is not pulling white people by their taint hairs on The Root.

Before he took off the other day, he asked me if I would step into his very big shoes to write the Mailbag myself. I happily obliged because I have some shit I...

17 Comments

Ibn Safir Ibn Safir Apr 21, 2019. 17 comments

FBI Arrests 69-Year-Old Militia Leader Whose Group Boasts Ties to U.S. Border Patrol

FBI Arrests 69-Year-Old Militia Leader Whose Group Boasts Ties to U.S. Border Patrol

Larry Mitchell Hopkins, the 69-year-old leader of the United Constitutional Patriots, an armed border militia group spreading conspiracies and rounding up asylum-seekers along the U.S.-Mexico border, has been taken into custody by the FBI.

The New Mexico Resident allegedly illegal detained immigrants crossing the border while posing as United States Border Patrol.

The organization has been

17 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Apr 14, 2019.

The White Person's Guide To Surviving A Terrorist Attack

The White Person's Guide To Surviving A Terrorist Attack

My Dear Caucasian Brethren,

I want to first thank you for allowing me to speak to the Global Society for the Advancement of White People for the third time. It is indeed an honor and a privilege to stand before such luminaries as Hillary Clinton, Taylor Swift, Donald Trump and the entire cast of Exodus: Gods and Kings. Today I was summoned to speak to you about living under the existential...

Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Apr 10, 2019. 24 comments

Candace Owens Is Racist White America’s Black Friend and She Just Told Congress That White Nationalism Isn’t a Thing

Candace Owens Is Racist White America’s Black Friend and She Just Told Congress That White Nationalism Isn’t a Thing

Unfortunately for the world, Candace Owens is a thing.

I want her not to be a thing, or, even better, a thing of the past like Furbys and AOL Instant Messenger.

Yet, here we are talking about Candace Owens because she is trotted out by the far-right whenever there is a discussion on white nationalism because Candace Owens is the black person that all racists are talking about when they say they...

24 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Apr 10, 2019. 18 comments

Report: White People Still Tripping

Report: White People Still Tripping

The next time someone says that America needs to have a “conversation about race,” please remind them that, according to a new report from one of the most respected opinion researchers in the world, most white people in America think we talk about race too much. Most white people don’t think that being white has helped them get ahead in life. And statistically, most white people don’t believe...

18 Comments

Jay Connor Jay Connor Apr 09, 2019. 19 comments

Brexit Reporter Declares He’s ‘Never Seen So Many White People in One Place.’ The Lie Detector Determined ... That’s a Lie

Brexit Reporter Declares He’s ‘Never Seen So Many White People in One Place.’ The Lie Detector Determined ... That’s a Lie

Earlier in life then we probably realize, black people are taught the value of compartmentalizing our personas. While we take comfort in Wobbling at weddings and selectively blurting out “Ain’t nobody coming to see you, Otis!” around our own, we have a propensity to abandon the seasoning rack while amongst our unseasoned companions.

Our speaking voices might climb an octave as we embark on a...

19 Comments

Jay Connor Jay Connor Mar 29, 2019. 17 comments

White News Anchors Embarrass Mankind with Their Unseasoned Attempt at Black Slang

White News Anchors Embarrass Mankind with Their Unseasoned Attempt at Black Slang

One of the cardinal sins of adulthood is embarrassing your kids—especially if they’re teenagers.

As an unruly adolescent myself in a past life, I have vivid memories of my mother calling me “Cooch” in front of my friends, or my Dad’s bizarre obsession with 2Pac’s “How Do U Want It” (“That song is bad!” he would exclaim, while dry humping the air).

But this?

This is peak caucacity....

17 Comments

Jay Connor Jay Connor Mar 26, 2019. 11 comments

Report: Public Universities Prioritize Out-of-State, Wealthy, White Students, Cue Shock and Awe

Report: Public Universities Prioritize Out-of-State, Wealthy, White Students, Cue Shock and Awe

While Dr. Dre’s $70 million in donations daughter was somehow able to get into USC based “entirely” on her own merit, for many black children, the process to attend their college of choice is an obstacle course of anxiety and racial bias. And while our experiences as perpetual victims of prejudice are irrefutable, it’s always interesting when official studies are conducted to confirm what we...

11 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Mar 20, 2019. 22 comments

The 6 Kinds of Woke White People

The 6 Kinds of Woke White People

Now that Democrats are fully aware that its general election success hinges on the black vote, the race for the party’s presidential nomination has evolved into a spectacular game of one-upmanship between Cinderellas trying to convince us who’s the wokest white person of them all. It seems like it was only yesterday that black voters had to resort to arm-twisting to even get a candidate to...

22 Comments

Ibn Safir Ibn Safir Mar 14, 2019. 21 comments

Son of Couple Charged in College Cheating Scandal Defends Parents While Smoking Blunt and Promoting Mixtape

Son of Couple Charged in College Cheating Scandal Defends Parents While Smoking Blunt and Promoting Mixtape

Gregory and Marcia Abbott obviously didn’t believe their daughter had the intelligence or requisite flair to make it into a top university on her own merit.

If their daughter is anything like their son, we can see why, thanks to the New York Post.

Smoking a blunt that appeared to have been rolled on a rollercoaster, Malcolm Abbott, the Twitter joke made flesh, whose parents were named in a New...

21 Comments

Ibn Safir Ibn Safir Mar 10, 2019. 23 comments

No Points for Guessing: Woman Attacked by Jaguar After Hopping Zoo Barrier

No Points for Guessing: Woman Attacked by Jaguar After Hopping Zoo Barrier

See that scary-ass black cat? That’s not a dry seal or some kind of deceptively cuddly anime character. That’s a damn jaguar.

Thanks to those among us who enjoy their potato salad as white as Dow Jones’ editorial staff, we’ve another predictable interaction between dangerous predatory animals and adventurous white folks.

Animals, who jumped out to an early, seemingly insurmountable lead over...

23 Comments

Language