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Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Jan 09, 2020. 23 comments

How to Be a Better White Person in 2020

How to Be a Better White Person in 2020

Occasionally The Root will interrupt our coverage of black news, opinions, politics, and culture to openly address our white readership. In 2020, we’d like to finally have that oft-discussed “conversation about race” we hear you guys mention so often. To be clear, white people need to have a conversation about race. Black people in America have been actively engaged in an ongoing discussion...

23 Comments

Damon Young Damon Young Dec 20, 2019. 21 comments

I Will Never Forgive White People for Donald Trump

I Will Never Forgive White People for Donald Trump

I forget sometimes that Donald Trump is president.

I’ve tried to convince myself that this is intentional; a willful misremembering of reality necessary to process his span in office. There’d be a nobility there, I think, as this would suggest I’m so empathetic, so down, so woke, that I can’t even sleep without tricking myself into amnesia.

But nah. That would give him (and me) too much...

21 Comments

Joe Jurado Joe Jurado Dec 18, 2019. 23 comments

Now in Things White People Say Aren't Racist: Swastikas. Yup.

Now in Things White People Say Aren't Racist: Swastikas. Yup.

There are certain symbols that when seen in public make you go “Oh, they racist racist.” At the top of that list would probably be the swastika and the confederate flag—symbols made popular by groups whose whole M.O was killing in the name of white supremacy. Apparently though, we’ve had it all wrong.

At least that is if one were to believe the interview of William Stark, a homeowner in Iowa,...

23 Comments

Damon Young Damon Young Dec 17, 2019. 13 comments

Maybe It’s Time to Just Burn Down Every Plantation

Maybe It’s Time to Just Burn Down Every Plantation

The most telling revelation from the now-concluded spectacular first season of Watchmen came directly after its first episode and was inspired by its first scene—a reenactment of the Greenwood Massacre. Like many, I was surprised that HBO would launch a big-budget prestige series about angsty superheroes with a depiction of the government-sanctioned slaughter of hundreds of black people in...

13 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Dec 11, 2019. 15 comments

The Caucasian Candidate’s Guide to Black Voters

The Caucasian Candidate’s Guide to Black Voters

So you want to be president.

In America, reaching the pinnacle of any career doesn’t usually require the consent or approval of black people. In fact, it is possible to lead one of the most profitable companies in America ; govern the state of Alabama; determine whether or not America has talent or run a sports league built on black labor while displaying disdain and contempt for black...

15 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Nov 13, 2019. 16 comments

University Lawyer Resigns After Blurting Out the N-Word... During a Lecture About Fighting On-Campus Hate

University Lawyer Resigns After Blurting Out the N-Word... During a Lecture About Fighting On-Campus Hate

An attorney for a Texas institution of higher learning tendered her resignation after she was criticized for using the top-ranked* racial epithet during a lecture to students. While the Bill of Rights, the Founding Fathers, social studies teachers and 99.9999 percent of law professors somehow manage to avoid the slur, this particular lawyer insisted that it was “impossible” to discuss the...

16 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Oct 25, 2019. 20 comments

A Video in Which Matt Gaetz, a White Man, Whines About Being Called a White Man

A Video in Which Matt Gaetz, a White Man, Whines About Being Called a White Man

Merriam Webster defines “identity politics” as:

politics in which groups of people having a particular racial, religious, ethnic, social, or cultural identity tend to promote their own specific interests or concerns without regard to the interests or concerns of any larger political group.

Although the Democratic Party’s constituency is far more diverse than the GOP, the party is controlled...

20 Comments

Damon Young Damon Young Oct 01, 2019. 18 comments

I Just Binged Season 1 of Succession and It Feels Like I Was on a White People Safari

I Just Binged Season 1 of Succession and It Feels Like I Was on a White People Safari

I don’t remember exactly what Kotaku staff editor Natalie Degraffinried said a month ago when attempting to convince me to watch Succession. But knowing Natalie, I’m certain it involved some combination of “these white people” and “wild.” What I do remember was that she was the fourth or fifth black person in the last two months to implore me to watch this show, and each ask wasn’t “Hey, if...

18 Comments

Jay Connor Jay Connor Sep 11, 2019. 5 comments

Cory Booker on Senate Beginnings: It Was 'the Least Diverse Place I Had Ever Seen'

Cory Booker on Senate Beginnings: It Was 'the Least Diverse Place I Had Ever Seen'

We’ve all been there.

The culture shock of acclimating to a seasonless, Rhythm-less Nation whose population mirrors a Friends episode is a lot to process. And according to presidential candidate and Cory Booker, he had that exact experience in 2013 when he became a senator.

“When I came to the United States Senate, it was literally the least diverse place I had ever seen,” Booker said Tuesday...

5 Comments

Damon Young Damon Young Aug 31, 2019. 24 comments

All the Worst White People Love Dave Chappelle's Sticks and Stones

All the Worst White People Love Dave Chappelle's Sticks and Stones

It’s a device you’ll often see in comedies.

A character enters a room that’s packed with people. There’s a meeting happening. Or perhaps a party. But just as the character begins to settle, he looks around and notices that the room is a completely different place than where he expected to be, and the audience makes the realization the same time he does. Like, “Holy shit! He thought it was at...

24 Comments

Jay Connor Jay Connor Aug 16, 2019. 23 comments

#FundraisingWhileBlack: White Woman Pulls Gun on Black Teenagers Raising Money for Their Football Team

#FundraisingWhileBlack: White Woman Pulls Gun on Black Teenagers Raising Money for Their Football Team

Well, hello there!

In today’s edition of #ExistingWhileBlack, we have a despicable human being named Jerri Kelly, who pulled a gun on a group of black teenagers whose only crime was raising money for their high school football team.

ABC News has the scoop:

The wife of an Arkansas jail administrator was arrested and charged with assault several days after police say she pulled a gun on four...

23 Comments

Anne Branigin Anne Branigin Jul 10, 2019. 23 comments

White Woman Discovers Racism

White Woman Discovers Racism

In the latest episode of Red Table Talk, Jada Pinkett Smith, alongside her mother, Adrienne Banfield Norris, hosted former Sex and the City star Kristin Davis for a probing, earnest talk about the complications of transracial adoption.

Titled “Should White People Adopt Black Kids,” the discussion featured Davis talking at length about her experiences as the mother of two black children: a...

23 Comments

Damon Young Damon Young Jul 01, 2019. 22 comments

The Case for Washcloths: Why White People Need to Wash Their Damn Legs

The Case for Washcloths: Why White People Need to Wash Their Damn Legs

I really don’t know what to write to introduce this video, so I’m just going to be literal. It has recently been revealed, through various social media platforms, that some people who happen to be white have boycotted the entire leg- and hand-washing experience. This information was—and is—well, perplexing, and I try to make sense of it all.

22 Comments

Damon Young Damon Young Jun 29, 2019. 19 comments

White People Are Boring

White People Are Boring

Soggy toilet paper sheet repurposed as a mesh romper for bougie chipmunks David Brooks emerged from his seltzer waterbed today to warn us that the Democrats will definitely lose the Presidential election if we don’t remember to be as damp as he is. He is maybe not wrong—perhaps a can of La Croix might have the best chance of beating Trump—but that’s not the point. It’s that the journey to...

19 Comments

Anne Branigin Anne Branigin Jun 28, 2019. 16 comments

White Business Owners Claimed Cherokee Ancestry—and Got $300 Million in Government Money

White Business Owners Claimed Cherokee Ancestry—and Got $300 Million in Government Money

If you’ve spent any time in the South or Midwest, you’ve probably heard a few people claim to have Native American ancestry (“Do you see these eyebrows? This bone structure?”) And, chances are, if they had to name the tribe, they’d tell you their great-great-great grandmother was half-Cherokee.

Well, this next story concerns a very particular set of white persons claiming Native ancestry. What...

16 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Jun 13, 2019. 24 comments

White People Want Trump

White People Want Trump

Nothing matters.

The 10,796 false or misleading statements don’t matter. The Muslim travel ban doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter that his administration literally locked children in cages . That the most powerful man in the country sat in an official meeting and insisted that some black immigrants come from shithole countries doesn’t matter. Excusing white supremacist violence doesn’t...

24 Comments

Monique Judge Monique Judge May 25, 2019. 17 comments

The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: Some Rules and Reminders for People Who Read The Root

The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: Some Rules and Reminders for People Who Read The Root

It’s the Friday before a major holiday, and the regular writer of the Clapback Mailbag, Michael Harriot, has decided to take the day off for whatever it is he does when he is not pulling white people by their taint hairs on The Root.

Before he took off the other day, he asked me if I would step into his very big shoes to write the Mailbag myself. I happily obliged because I have some shit I...

17 Comments

Ibn Safir Ibn Safir Apr 21, 2019. 17 comments

FBI Arrests 69-Year-Old Militia Leader Whose Group Boasts Ties to U.S. Border Patrol

FBI Arrests 69-Year-Old Militia Leader Whose Group Boasts Ties to U.S. Border Patrol

Larry Mitchell Hopkins, the 69-year-old leader of the United Constitutional Patriots, an armed border militia group spreading conspiracies and rounding up asylum-seekers along the U.S.-Mexico border, has been taken into custody by the FBI.

The New Mexico Resident allegedly illegal detained immigrants crossing the border while posing as United States Border Patrol.

The organization has been

17 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Apr 14, 2019.

The White Person's Guide To Surviving A Terrorist Attack

The White Person's Guide To Surviving A Terrorist Attack

My Dear Caucasian Brethren,

I want to first thank you for allowing me to speak to the Global Society for the Advancement of White People for the third time. It is indeed an honor and a privilege to stand before such luminaries as Hillary Clinton, Taylor Swift, Donald Trump and the entire cast of Exodus: Gods and Kings. Today I was summoned to speak to you about living under the existential...

Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Apr 10, 2019. 24 comments

Candace Owens Is Racist White America’s Black Friend and She Just Told Congress That White Nationalism Isn’t a Thing

Candace Owens Is Racist White America’s Black Friend and She Just Told Congress That White Nationalism Isn’t a Thing

Unfortunately for the world, Candace Owens is a thing.

I want her not to be a thing, or, even better, a thing of the past like Furbys and AOL Instant Messenger.

Yet, here we are talking about Candace Owens because she is trotted out by the far-right whenever there is a discussion on white nationalism because Candace Owens is the black person that all racists are talking about when they say they...

24 Comments

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