It appears that the Trump campaign’s re-election strategy is to use Photoshopped images of the president’s orange face on the bodies of every successful white person, both fictional and real. As it stands, Trump and his team have shared images of the president’s face on fake great white hope Rocky Balboa and supervillain Thanos.
Only in this time, with this White House could a pastor who once said that Jews are going to hell be one of the speakers at a White House Hanukkah reception, which included the signing of an executive order aimed at tackling anti-Semitism on college campuses.
I can’t make this shit up.
The event, which included “several prominent Jewish Americans in attendance, including New England Patriots...
Former FBI lawyer, Lisa Page, whose “fuck the fat orange guy running for president” text messages with another FBI employee were leaked to the media, is suing the Justice Department and the FBI for being messy AF.
From CBS News:
Her attorneys argue in the suit that the revelation of her text messages violates the Privacy Act, which bars “disclosing a covered record ‘about’ an individual unless...
For those that don’t know, or aren’t old enough to remember, Richie Rich was a little white kid whose parents were so rich that by default he became the richest kid in America. Sadly, the president of the United States, in his stunted developmental growth is basically the evil version of the 1953 character who was so rich that his middle name was simply a dollar sign. No word on whether Ty...
We don’t deserve Auntie Maxine.
The California Democrat is serving her 15th term in the House and she’s not done. At 81, she’s still the most vocal and has proven herself to be the biggest thorn in President Trump’s side because, make no mistake about it, Maxine Waters was the first person to speak out shortly after Russia handed Trump the election in 2016, to make clear that she had no...
Because President Trump gets the majority of his news from the White Supremacy Post and InfoWars, he believed that the “deep state” was actively working to undermine his 2016 campaign, which allegedly included spying on Trump advisers.
Trump believed that top FBI officials were working to bring him down because, prior to becoming president of the United States, he was the head of Evil Corp....
And so it begins.
The slippery slope leading the president into a fiery pit of embarrassment starts today after House Democrats unveiled two articles of impeachment against President Trump.
According to the Washington Post, the articles of impeachment alleged that Trump “abused the power of his office and obstructed Congress in its investigation of his conduct regarding Ukraine.”
“We must be...
The public fuss-fight between President Trump and his personal YouTube channel Fox News took another turn Sunday when the leader of the free world tweeted that he knows that they’re cheating on him and he’s tired of it.
“Don’t get why @FoxNews puts losers on like @RepSwalwell (who got ZERO as presidential candidate before quitting), Pramila Jayapal, David Cicilline and others who are Radical...
With the holidays on the horizon and school winding down to a snail’s pace, the president of the United States sits alone in his sleeping coffin wearing cozy PJs and messaging with Rep. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) about which GOP boys think he’s cute. Unfortunately, this Sunday it was Graham’s turn to work the president’s slaughterhouse, so the president was super bored and like most high school...
“Kamala Harris is dropping out but Pete Buttigieg is still in?”
I got about a million incredulous texts just like this from black folks I know when Senator Kamala Harris dropped out of the 2020 campaign earlier this week. I got so many texts from black people about Harris I thought Tom Steyer was going to steal my Verizon contacts. The catch is, almost every incredulous text I got was from...
If you ever wanted to look like the president—or a weathered, sun-soaked, wrinkled Trader Joe’s orange—and run through the neighborhood scaring the shit out of children and people of color, then now is your chance, as the president’s favorite concealer has been revealed to be Russian prostitute urine!.
Thanks to hardworking journalists at the Washington Post and several undocumented immigrants...
And so it begins.
On Thursday, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced that she’s asked that articles of impeachment be drafted against President I Did That Shit. Sure impeachment without removal from office is about as damaging as a public indecency charge from 1994; it’s not going to really do anything but it’s embarrassing if it comes up in a job interview.
But it’s happening and it’s a...
On Tuesday, Sen. Kamala Harris announced that she was ending her presidential campaign , but because Trump knows nothing about an AKA’s ability to clapback—or how to do anything with grace—he sarcastically tweeted, “Too bad. We will miss you Kamala!”
Apparently, no one told the president that Kamala had already obtained three clapback infinity stones by attending Howard University, smoking...
World leaders and a fussy baby who keeps telling everyone he won the popular vote are in London for the NATO summit. Unfortunately for America, our representative is a failed businessman-turned-reality TV host who can’t stop whining.
Basically, he’s a national embarrassment on a global stage, like a kid that keeps yelling “pee-pee” and “boo-boo” inside the grocery store without warning; you...
In news that should be shocking to no one with opposable thumbs, a report by House Intelligence Committee Democrats confirms that President Trump was more concerned about his own personal gain than the well-being of the country when he tried to finesse a quid pro quo arrangement with the Ukrainian president.
According to several sources, including God and the truth, the president reportedly...
American albatross and the president of people who believe in UFOs sat across from the president of France—a real president—who continuously embarrassed Trump in a tense meeting that the U.S. president made tense by being an asshole.
During the sideline NATO meeting Tuesday, Trump did the condescending asshole-y thing he does where he offered the French leader, Emmanuel Macron, “ISIS fighters”...
Look, it’s time that we stop hemming and hawing around what we know to be the truth: Trump tied Ukrainian aid to dirt on possible Democratic 2020 rival Joe Biden and his son, Hunter. That happened.
Full stop.
What’s happened since then has been a game of let’s see if the GOP can make a mockery of the truth by continuously throwing shit at it until they stink up the entire process. Basically,...
Stop me if you’ve heard this before.
Seriously, stop me.
Why aren’t you stopping me?
The president got in front of cameras with his face all orange-y and his neck all white before leaving to go to London to argue some NATO shit that he doesn’t understand and told the cameras that the impeachment hearing is all a big hoax.
And because the president wasn’t done, he then got on Air Force...
Melania Trump is no damsel in distress; in fact, she’s a calculated genius (if her visa is to be believed) who plotted on the old orange man with the attractive bank account. But unless Scrooge McDuck sleeps with his money, Melania reportedly has no interest in laying next to his old wrinkly ass.
Until I see...
Rappers have a difficult job.
I couldn’t imagine performing in front of hundreds of people staring at their iPhones for a living, but I would guess that crowd participation is a pretty sensitive topic. In fact, it was very serious for Compton rapper YG, who showed his audience that he wants them to be fully immersed in his show and openly show disdain for all things Donald Trump.
Variety...