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Jun 12, 2020. 7 comments

Trump’s Economic Adviser Larry Kudlow Doesn’t Believe Systemic Racism Exists. Why Is Anyone Talking to Larry Kudlow?

Trump’s Economic Adviser Larry Kudlow Doesn’t Believe Systemic Racism Exists. Why Is Anyone Talking to Larry Kudlow?

Larry Kudlow might be everything wrong with white America—privilege, Karenism and this administration all rolled up into one stiff suit.

Kudlow, who is currently the director of the United States National Economic Council, was once chief economist and senior managing director for Bear Stearns the investment bank for really rich white people and was also the economics editor for the National...

7 Comments

Jun 11, 2020. 21 comments

Trump’s Holding His First Rally in Months on Juneteenth in Tulsa, Okla., and All of This Stinks of Stephen Miller

Trump’s Holding His First Rally in Months on Juneteenth in Tulsa, Okla., and All of This Stinks of Stephen Miller

President Trump has always been a racist. But his racism has never been informed: he couldn’t tell you in any historical way why he hated people of color, only that he hates them. For years he’s spouted off uninformed, stereotypical, surface-level race-related reasonings as to his hate for those with melanated skin and well-seasoned food.

He was Remy from Higher Learning before and after he’s...

21 Comments

Jun 11, 2020. 18 comments

US Navy Latest Military Force to Ban the Confederate Flag

US Navy Latest Military Force to Ban the Confederate Flag

The nationwide protests against police brutality and systemic racism have caused many long-standing American institutions to look inward and figure out how they can do the bare minimum to support the cause. The Marines have ordered the removal of Confederate flags from their bases; the Army has expressed openness to the idea of renaming bases named after Confederate generals; and now, the...

18 Comments

Jun 11, 2020. 15 comments

Of Course, the GOP Convention Is Heading to the End of America’s Digestive Tract

Of Course, the GOP Convention Is Heading to the End of America’s Digestive Tract

Florida is the asshole of America.

So it is fitting that the gathering of assholes may happen in the one place that is so strange that it is a game to look up “Florida man” and your birthday to see what ridiculous crime you land on.

I’m “Thong-wearing Florida man arrested while building shed with garbage on stranger’s property.”

After North Carolina officials told President Trump that they...

15 Comments

Jun 07, 2020. 17 comments

Snoop Dogg Says He's Voting for the First Time in 2020 to Get Trump Out

Snoop Dogg Says He's Voting for the First Time in 2020 to Get Trump Out

West Coast rapper and internet uncle Snoop Dogg says he will be making his voice heard at the ballot box this year—for the first time in his life.

During an interview with Big Boy for Real 92.3 in which the rapper is wearing a head wraps and holding a signature fat blunt, Snoop revealed that he hadn’t been aware that he could vote given his criminal history.

“For many years they had me...

17 Comments

Apr 30, 2020. 8 comments

Former Republican Justin Amash Is Considering Whether He Wants to Ruin Everything

Former Republican Justin Amash Is Considering Whether He Wants to Ruin Everything

There were three ways to a Trump victory in November:

A global pandemic that forces everyone in the house; a refusal to fund the Postal Service, which will surely affect mail-in voting; and a third-party candidate who surely has no chance at winning but will fuck up the election.

The first one is life. The second is clearly the president’s doing, as he told members of Congress that he won’t...

8 Comments

Apr 29, 2020. 15 comments

Vice President Mike Pence Is a Crash Test Dummy for Trump

Vice President Mike Pence Is a Crash Test Dummy for Trump

Remember way back to 2017 when Vice President Mike Pence attended a football game between the Indianapolis Colts and the San Francisco 49ers just so he could walk out when players kneeled for the National Anthem?

Pence would later tweet: “I left today’s Colts game because @POTUS and I will not dignify any event that disrespects our soldiers, our Flag, or our National Anthem.”

The football game...

15 Comments

Apr 29, 2020. 6 comments

When the Music Stops: Famed Tap Dancers Diamond and Silk Cut From Fox News

When the Music Stops: Famed Tap Dancers Diamond and Silk Cut From Fox News

Diamond and Silk learned the harsh lesson of steppinfetchery: No matter how hard you dance, at some point, they will tire of your act and you will find that there is no one left to dance for.

On Monday, Fox News, the Alex Jones of network news, severed ties with the blackface duo, whose schtick has even grown too outlandish for a fake news network. Think about that for a moment; an outlandish...

6 Comments

Apr 28, 2020. 12 comments

Trump Suggested Mainlining Disinfectants, So Some People Did. Now He’s Not Taking Any Responsibility for It

Trump Suggested Mainlining Disinfectants, So Some People Did. Now He’s Not Taking Any Responsibility for It

On Monday, after being a total diva with a coronavirus press conference—first it was on, then it was off, then it was on again—the president was asked whether he took any responsibility for people using disinfectants improperly after he suggested that it could aid in treating the coronavirus, and you can already guess his answer.

Not only did he not take any responsibility for the uptick in...

12 Comments

Apr 28, 2020. 9 comments

Looks Like Hope Hicks Has Replaced Ivanka as the Trump Whisperer

Looks Like Hope Hicks Has Replaced Ivanka as the Trump Whisperer

A 31-year-old white woman with no credentials other than being a 31-year-old white woman—which is the equivalent of being a 24-year-old black woman with a Ph.D. who discovered real-life vibranium—is now the person who Trump’s turning to during the coronavirus to help with his rebrand because nothing says “I’m fucking this up” like a rebrand during a global pandemic.

So far, for those that...

9 Comments

Apr 28, 2020. 7 comments

Narcissist-In-Chief Canceled the Coronavirus Press Briefing. Then Remembered There Were Cameras, So It’s Back On

Narcissist-In-Chief Canceled the Coronavirus Press Briefing. Then Remembered There Were Cameras, So It’s Back On

Trump hates the media, unless they love him, and then he loves them back.

So on Monday, with disinfectant-gate still a thing and the collective mouth full of four usable teeth that is Trump voters realizing that even they can’t get behind his idiotic suggestion that shooting up Lysol would help kill the coronavirus, Trump went ballistic on these tweet streets.

“There has never been, in the...

7 Comments

Apr 27, 2020. 22 comments

Trump Spent Sunday Raging on Twitter Because America's Starting to Realize He’s a Clown

Trump Spent Sunday Raging on Twitter Because America's Starting to Realize He’s a Clown

President Trump fucked up.

During a press conference last week, the president of people who are now considering adding a little bleach to their smoothies was freestyling and going off-script, as he’s been known to do. Trump was standing at the lectern when he began wondering aloud about the potential of moving both light and disinfectant inside the body.

So he turned to Dr. Deborah Birx, the...

22 Comments

Apr 27, 2020. 19 comments

Trump Supporter Wants You to Know He Isn't Just Worth a Measly $1.3 Billion, but $3.3 Billion

Trump Supporter Wants You to Know He Isn't Just Worth a Measly $1.3 Billion, but $3.3 Billion

Spoiler Alert: La La La Laaaa, you don’t have to wait until Kanye West gets his money right anymore. Oh, and you definitely can’t tell him nothin’.

According to Forbes, Kanye’s official net worth is $1.3 billion. Forbes calculated that his stake is worth $1.4 billion, but since it is “private [and] highly illiquid]” their rule is to take off at least 10% for the final tally, which is $1.26...

19 Comments

Apr 27, 2020. 21 comments

Calls to Poison Centers Across the Country Have Gone Up Since Trump Talked About Injecting Disinfectant

Calls to Poison Centers Across the Country Have Gone Up Since Trump Talked About Injecting Disinfectant

Correlation doesn’t necessarily equal causation, but it’s hard to say we didn’t see this coming after the president ruminated out loud a few days ago on the usefulness of injecting disinfectant into the body as a kind of “cleaning” to get rid of the coronavirus.

Trump Suggested Swallowing Light Bulbs and Shooting Up Disinfectant to Kill the Coronavirus. We Finna...

I don’t know what former...

21 Comments

Apr 24, 2020. 5 comments

Trump Suggested Swallowing Light Bulbs and Shooting Up Disinfectant to Kill the Coronavirus. We Finna Die

Trump Suggested Swallowing Light Bulbs and Shooting Up Disinfectant to Kill the Coronavirus. We Finna Die

I don’t know what former President Barack Obama did to y’all—and by y’all, I’m referring specifically to the 53 percent of white women who voted against their own self-interest to elect a shit heel for president—but we now have a man in office who suggested swallowing light bulbs and shooting up disinfectant.

On Thursday, during Trump’s campaign rally disguised as a coronavirus briefing in...

5 Comments

Apr 23, 2020. 18 comments

Trump Lies, Science Doesn't. So Scientists Aren’t Faring Well With This Administration

Trump Lies, Science Doesn't. So Scientists Aren’t Faring Well With This Administration

I’m currently dating Tracee Ellis Ross.

That is a lie.

Anyone who knows me knows that she and I broke up a while ago. Whatever. I didn’t like seafood and she wouldn’t hear of it.

My dating Tracee Ellis Ross is a lie, but in Trump’s world, there are a few unsophisticated ways that I can push this lie as truth, and while it wouldn’t work on anyone that made it past the ninth grade, there are some...

18 Comments

Apr 23, 2020. 10 comments

Twitter Fingers: President Troll Face Just Tweeted That He Wants Iranian Gunboats ‘Shot Down’ for Trolling

Twitter Fingers: President Troll Face Just Tweeted That He Wants Iranian Gunboats ‘Shot Down’ for Trolling

President 6ix9ine is about to get us into a shitload of shit during a global pandemic when no one can safely leave the goddamn house without a full-on gas mask.

On Wednesday, for some reason—and that reason is probably that the “

wartime president ” is losing the silent war against the coronavirus—the president instructed the U.S. Navy to “shoot down and destroy any and all Iranian gunboats”...

10 Comments

Apr 23, 2020. 23 comments

Trump and Fox News Now Acting Like They Weren’t Out Here Pushing ‘Game-Changer’ Drug to Beat Coronavirus

Trump and Fox News Now Acting Like They Weren’t Out Here Pushing ‘Game-Changer’ Drug to Beat Coronavirus

It only took a few weeks and some light testing for President Trump and Fox News to back up after openly promoting and pushing an anti-malaria drug to beat COVID-19 like America had suddenly become Hamsterdam.

Once touted by Trump as a “game-changer,” the president has gone full Mariah Carey “I don’t know her” meme now that a

VA study found that the drug isn’t just ineffective against...

23 Comments

Apr 22, 2020. 14 comments

Remember the Malaria Drug Trump Was Pushing to Treat Coronavirus? Well a VA Study Shows It’s Really Good...For Malaria

Remember the Malaria Drug Trump Was Pushing to Treat Coronavirus? Well a VA Study Shows It’s Really Good...For Malaria

Remember when Trump came out and used the same one-liner to encourage black people to vote for him (“What do you have to lose?”) as the mantra to try hydroxychloroquine, a malaria drug, to treat the coronavirus?

Well, two things were discovered in a large analysis of its use in veterans hospitals across America. The first was that there were more deaths among those given the malaria drug than...

14 Comments

Apr 21, 2020. 7 comments

Trump Says He Will Suspend Immigration Into the United States. Now If He Could Only Get Someone to Write the Executive Order

Trump Says He Will Suspend Immigration Into the United States. Now If He Could Only Get Someone to Write the Executive Order

Trump is a victim of poor performance. According to several Russian prostitutes whom I didn’t speak with but will speak for, the president tends to jump the gun.

On Tuesday, Trump’s minions—also known as his administration—were hurrying to get together an executive order after Trump late-night tweeted to Vladimir Putin “Hey, big head. You up?” that he would be temporarily suspending...

7 Comments

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