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Feb 06, 2020. 23 comments

Trump Is Acquitted. Right, in Fact, Doesn't Matter in America

Trump Is Acquitted. Right, in Fact, Doesn't Matter in America

Well, the thing we all knew was going to happen has happened. Having said that, it isn’t any less disappointing.

CNN reports that by a vote of 52-48 the senate has voted to acquit President Donald Trump of abuse of power. Mitt Romney was the lone Republican to vote for Trump to be convicted on the first charge. On his second charge of obstruction of Congress, Trump was acquitted on a vote...

23 Comments

Feb 06, 2020. 13 comments

Trump’s Impeachment Trial, Day Who Cares Anymore: The End Is Almost Here

Trump’s Impeachment Trial, Day Who Cares Anymore: The End Is Almost Here

The vote is today and we all have known for weeks, if not months, that the vote is going to go to Team Evil. The Senate will vote on whether to remove President Donald Trump for attempting to bully Ukraine into declaring that they would open an investigation into Trump’s political rival, Joe Biden and his son Hunter, in exchange for military aid that was already approved by Congress. While...

13 Comments

Feb 05, 2020. 6 comments

Wave of House Democrats Announce Boycott of Trump’s ‘Sham State of the Union’ Address

Wave of House Democrats Announce Boycott of Trump’s ‘Sham State of the Union’ Address

Eight house Democrats announced Tuesday that they will not attend President Donald Trump’s State of the Union address, citing a lack of trust in the president and the Senate trial that is expected to acquit him of all impeachment charges on Wednesday.

The first five Democrats to announce their boycott were Reps. Al Green (Texas), Steve Cohen (Tenn.), Earl Blumenauer (Ore.), Hank Johnson (Ga.)...

6 Comments

Feb 05, 2020. 15 comments

The Root Got an Early Copy of Trump’s State of the Union Speech

The Root Got an Early Copy of Trump’s State of the Union Speech

On Tuesday at 9 p.m. ET, President Trump is set to make his third State of the Union speech amid the backdrop of impeachment. Two fictional, yet, still unnamed sources sent parts of Trump’s State of the Union speech to The Root offices.

TO THE CONGRESS OF THE UNITED STATES:

Mr. Vice President, Members of Congress, the First Lady of the United States, my fellow Americans, and Madam Speaker.

(Turn...

15 Comments

Feb 01, 2020. 17 comments

Senate Republicans Give Democracy The Finger, Vote To Not Allow Witnesses In Impeachment Trial

Senate Republicans Give Democracy The Finger, Vote To Not Allow Witnesses In Impeachment Trial

I’ve remained convinced that no one group of people hates America and the ideals it’s supposed to represent more than the Republican party. Tonight, they seem dead set on proving me right.

CNN reports that by a measure of 49-51 the Senate has voted to not allow witnesses in the impeachment trial. This vote essentially ensures that Trump will be acquitted of his crime by the end of next week....

17 Comments

Feb 01, 2020. 8 comments

Trump’s Impeachment Trial, Day 10: How the Senate Became the WWE

Trump’s Impeachment Trial, Day 10: How the Senate Became the WWE

My parents were going through a divorce when I was 10. They were still trying to learn how to co-parent when my mother got me tickets to go to a WWE (it was the WWF back then) live performance on the condition that my dad would have to take me. My father was annoyed. My mother hadn’t checked with him before purchasing the tickets and taking me meant that he was going to have to move his...

8 Comments

Jan 31, 2020. 12 comments

Trump’s Impeachment Trial, Day 9: And the Winner Is...

Trump’s Impeachment Trial, Day 9: And the Winner Is...

Wednesday marked the first day that senators got to ask questions of both the House managers, aka the A-Team, and Trump’s defense lawyers, aka National Lampoon’s Goes to Congress.

And the winner for best question of the day goes toooooo...Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.), who asked, “is the president a lying bitch or a bitch that’s lying?” well...I’ll just let Supreme Court Chief Justice Roberts...

12 Comments

Jan 30, 2020. 15 comments

Trump’s Impeachment Trial, Day 8: Never Have I Ever…

Trump’s Impeachment Trial, Day 8: Never Have I Ever…

I tried to watch it. But the sudden death of Kobe Bryant and his beautiful daughter Gianna mixed with Trump attorney Jay Sekulow’s punchable face? I just wasn’t in the best mental space to hear more lies on top of mistruths on top of misdirections.

But I know that Trump’s legal team tried to discredit former national security adviser John Bolton and former Vice President Joe Biden because...

15 Comments

Jan 29, 2020. 5 comments

Trump’s Impeachment Defense, Day 3: John Bolton’s Booketh Got Them Shooketh

Trump’s Impeachment Defense, Day 3: John Bolton’s Booketh Got Them Shooketh

Maybe former national security adviser John Bolton wasn’t just a publicity thot who took his five minutes of infamy to hawk a book. Maybe John Bolton had a secret plan. Who knows? Maybe he’s not Johnmorosa after all.

Tuesday marks the third and final day of Trump’s defense team’s opening arguments in Trump’s impeachment in the Senate, and all talk is about John Bolton’s book manuscript, which...

5 Comments

Jan 28, 2020. 14 comments

Trump’s Defense Lawyers Pick Up Where They Left Off, and By ‘Pick Up’ I Mean They Just Continue Lying

Trump’s Defense Lawyers Pick Up Where They Left Off, and By ‘Pick Up’ I Mean They Just Continue Lying

On Monday, President Trump’s loose group of arthritic knees and questionable morals banded together to expand on their brief opening statements from Saturday to make their case as to why the president of the United States isn’t the real Joanne the Scammer.

A live look at President Trump promising that his team isn’t going to cheat:

The plan is for Trump’s fufu team of lawyers to go in-depth as...

14 Comments

Jan 28, 2020. 17 comments

Ex-National Security Adviser John Bolton Can’t Testify, But He Sure Knows How to Promote a Book

Ex-National Security Adviser John Bolton Can’t Testify, But He Sure Knows How to Promote a Book

President Donald Trump began his Monday the way he always does: He ate the remains of a baby goat that was leftover from the weekend, slogged around the White House looking for his pig’s blood and cilantro smoothie and then locked himself in his private bathroom where he rage tweeted about ex-national security adviser John Bolton.

On Sunday, the New York Times reported that Bolton is working...

17 Comments

Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Jan 24, 2020. 16 comments

Impeachment Trial, Day 3: How Do You Get Liars to Care About the Truth?

Impeachment Trial, Day 3: How Do You Get Liars to Care About the Truth?

So I know you didn’t watch Day 3 of the Trump Impeachment trial so allow me to recap all the bits you missed.

Democrats continued to make their case, which was totally riveting btw, and then Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) pulled a sword and began hacking away at the podium. Notorious R.E.P. Hakeem Jeffries (D-N.Y.) tackled Schiff and the two began rolling around on the floor. It was at this...

16 Comments

Jan 23, 2020. 9 comments

Day 2: Impeachment Boogaloo

Day 2: Impeachment Boogaloo

Have you ever been to a rave? I have and it’s exactly what you’d expect: loud music, lots of footwork, glow sticks and drugs. But what’s most impressive about a rave is how long they are and how sweaty everyone gets because the whole room gets hot because of all the non-stop dancing.

The second day of the Donald J. Trump’s impeachment trial is like a rave minus the colorful clothes, glow...

9 Comments

Jan 23, 2020. 17 comments

We Watched Day 1 of the Impeachment Trial Because We Knew You Didn’t Want To

We Watched Day 1 of the Impeachment Trial Because We Knew You Didn’t Want To

The first day of the impeachment trial was longer than the church service when you didn’t have breakfast. The first day of the impeachment trial was longer than the line at the DMV. The first day of the impeachment trial was so long (13 hours!) that we are sure you stopped watching, so we watched all of it. OK, fine. We didn’t watch all of it but we watched more than you. OK, how much did you...

17 Comments

Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Jan 22, 2020. 11 comments

Never Thought Hip-Hop Would Take It This Far: Rep. Hakeem Jeffries Drops B.I.G. Lyric During Impeachment Trial

Never Thought Hip-Hop Would Take It This Far: Rep. Hakeem Jeffries Drops B.I.G. Lyric During Impeachment Trial

The impeachment trial for Russia’s favorite operative Donald J. Trump has started and New York Rep. Hakeem Jeffries is becoming the breakout star.

On Tuesday, after arguing succinctly and effectively that the president of the United States is a quid pro hoe who was willing to punish Ukraine by withholding aid until the Ukrainian president Volvo Fatosky (seriously, do you know his name?)...

11 Comments

Jan 22, 2020. 12 comments

The Impeachment of Donald J. Trump, Part 1: Pre-Fight Fuss Fight

The Impeachment of Donald J. Trump, Part 1: Pre-Fight Fuss Fight

The Senate impeachment trial of Russian Vice President Donald J. Trump began around 1 p.m. Tuesday, and here’s what’s happened and what we expect to happen on the first day.

Senators, House Managers—aka the “Hit Squad”—and the White House counsel were all present and ready to go. Chief Justice Roberts brought the trial to session, saying something like, “Let’s get ready to fake rumble!” Fine,...

12 Comments

Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Jan 18, 2020. 16 comments

Trump Adds 2 of Jeffrey Epstein’s Friends to His Impeachment Defense Team

Trump Adds 2 of Jeffrey Epstein’s Friends to His Impeachment Defense Team

In what can only be called clown shit, President Trump will enter his Senate impeachment trial with former Bill Clinton special prosecutors Kenneth Starr and Robert Ray, plus retired Harvard constitutional law professor Alan Dershowitz, as his attorneys.

According to Politico, the three famous attorneys will serve as backups behind “White House counsel Pat Cipollone and Jay Sekulow, Trump’s...

16 Comments

Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Jan 16, 2020. 12 comments

Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s 7-Member Impeachment Hit Squad Includes Hakeem Jeffries and Val Demings

Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s 7-Member Impeachment Hit Squad Includes Hakeem Jeffries and Val Demings

On Wednesday, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced the seven House members who will prosecute President Trump’s Senate impeachment trial, and while the usual names are there (we see you, Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.) and Intelligence Committee Chairman Rep. Adam B. Schiff (D-Calif.)), we also see black members Democratic Caucus Chairman Hakeem Jeffries (D-N.Y.) and Rep....

12 Comments

Jan 15, 2020. 3 comments

Impeachment Season Is Drawing to a Close: Donald Trump’s Senate Trial to Begin This Week

Impeachment Season Is Drawing to a Close: Donald Trump’s Senate Trial to Begin This Week

Folks, it’s time to steam that impeachment outfit. The Senate impeachment trial of Donald J(ulius d’Orange) Trump will begin this week, according to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.

The timeline was spurred by an announcement today from Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) that the House will vote on a resolution moving the impeachment process forward on Wednesday, according to the...

3 Comments

Joe Jurado Joe Jurado Jan 14, 2020. 13 comments

Dimes Dropped: Lev Parnas Turns Over Thousands of Documents to Impeachment Investigators

Dimes Dropped: Lev Parnas Turns Over Thousands of Documents to Impeachment Investigators

One imagines that President Trump and his best bud Rudy Giuliani are probably sleeping a little less easy tonight as one of their former associates has apparently flipped.

CNN reports that Lev Parnas, associate of Rudy Giuliani, has turned over photos, texts and thousands of documents to House impeachment investigators. Parnas, along with his partner Igor Fruman, are currently facing charges...

13 Comments

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