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Monique Judge Monique Judge yesterday at 07:30. 1 comments

Mitch McConnell Is a Not-So-Silent but Deadly (Old) Fart

Mitch McConnell Is a Not-So-Silent but Deadly (Old) Fart

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), the human embodiment of a silent, funky-ass fart, thinks it’s pretty hilarious that the federal courts are being stacked with conservative judges and that he led the Senate in blocking President Obama from installing his own pick for the U.S. Supreme Court.

McConnell is so pleased with himself, he bragged about all of this during a television...

1 Comments

Anne Branigin Anne Branigin yesterday at 04:00.

Be Best: Michelle Obama Throws Some Love to Greta Thunberg After Trump Cyber-Bullied the Teenage Climate Activist

Be Best: Michelle Obama Throws Some Love to Greta Thunberg After Trump Cyber-Bullied the Teenage Climate Activist

Michelle Obama had some uplifting words for climate activist and Time Magazine’s Person of the Year Greta Thunberg after the teenager was bullied online by none other than the President of the United States.

“Don’t let anyone dim your light,” the bestselling author and forever first lady told Greta, who helped lead the international Youth Climate Strike this year. The strike, which took place...

Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Dec 13, 2019 at 23:33. 8 comments

2 Articles of Impeachment Approved Against Trump as the Mad King Loses His Mind on Twitter

2 Articles of Impeachment Approved Against Trump as the Mad King Loses His Mind on Twitter

In a move we all saw coming but it still took forever, the House Judiciary Committee approved two articles of impeachment against President Quid Pro Hoe. After a marathon arguing session Thursday night that looked a lot like arguments in my house, the Judiciary Committee voted along party lines to impeach the president, making him the fourth president to face impeachment and the first...

8 Comments

Anne Branigin Anne Branigin Dec 10, 2019 at 06:00. 10 comments

Jury Acquits Man Who Offered $500 to ‘Anyone Who Kills an ICE Agent’ on Twitter, but Questions About ‘True Threats’ Remain

Jury Acquits Man Who Offered $500 to ‘Anyone Who Kills an ICE Agent’ on Twitter, but Questions About ‘True Threats’ Remain

A federal jury found a man who tweeted an offer of $500 to kill an Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officer was apparently just joking on Friday. The case revisits the issue of what is deemed a credible threat at a time when so much of what we say is online and therefore, searchable and punishable. It also raises the question of whose threats are deemed serious.

“I am broke but I will...

10 Comments

Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Dec 10, 2019 at 02:00.

Trump Tweeted Over 100 Times Sunday Because He Didn’t Have Cheerleading Practice

Trump Tweeted Over 100 Times Sunday Because He Didn’t Have Cheerleading Practice

With the holidays on the horizon and school winding down to a snail’s pace, the president of the United States sits alone in his sleeping coffin wearing cozy PJs and messaging with Rep. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) about which GOP boys think he’s cute. Unfortunately, this Sunday it was Graham’s turn to work the president’s slaughterhouse, so the president was super bored and like most high school...

Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Dec 06, 2019. 19 comments

Former Vice President Joe Biden Burns Trump in New Viral Ad: ‘A President the World Is Laughing At’

Former Vice President Joe Biden Burns Trump in New Viral Ad: ‘A President the World Is Laughing At’

Former Vice President Joe Biden may be the designer imposter fragrance version of Donald Trump, but damn if he didn’t release a fire ad torching the president.

Like battle rappers before him, the 2020 Democratic presidential hopeful took the timeliness of world leaders laughing at Trump during the recent NATO summit in London and mixed that with other instances where Trump has made himself and...

19 Comments

Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Stephen A. Crockett Jr. Dec 05, 2019. 11 comments

Speaker Nancy Pelosi Says Trump ‘Leaves Us No Choice But to Act’ on Impeachment

Speaker Nancy Pelosi Says Trump ‘Leaves Us No Choice But to Act’ on Impeachment

And so it begins.

On Thursday, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced that she’s asked that articles of impeachment be drafted against President I Did That Shit. Sure impeachment without removal from office is about as damaging as a public indecency charge from 1994; it’s not going to really do anything but it’s embarrassing if it comes up in a job interview.

But it’s happening and it’s a...

11 Comments

Monique Judge Monique Judge Nov 27, 2019. 24 comments

Y’all Little ‘President’ Be Lying His Ass Off

Y’all Little ‘President’ Be Lying His Ass Off

Have you ever known a person who just lies for no reason? Like, they stay making stuff up all the time just for the sake of talking and conversation? Their stories have little basis in reality; they just want to get one off, and to do that, they make up whatever details they need to in order for the story to sound good.

That person, ladies and gentlemen, is the alleged “president” of the...

24 Comments

Anne Branigin Anne Branigin Nov 27, 2019. 13 comments

Black Federal Judge Strikes Crucial Blow Against Trump's 'Absolute Immunity' Claims: 'Presidents Are Not Kings'

Black Federal Judge Strikes Crucial Blow Against Trump's 'Absolute Immunity' Claims: 'Presidents Are Not Kings'

In a ruling late Monday, Federal District Court Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson said former White House counsel Don McGahn must obey a subpoena to testify before Congress. The subpoena, issued in April, came from the House Judiciary Committee as part of its investigation into possible obstruction of justice by President Donald Trump.

As NBC News reports, in her decision, Jackson also rejected a...

13 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Nov 21, 2019. 23 comments

Here Is the Full Text of Donald Trump's Sharpie Lies for the Press

Here Is the Full Text of Donald Trump's Sharpie Lies for the Press

You do not know anyone as stupid as Donald Trump.

Even if you know a baboon with a head injury or have an uncle who dropped out of school in the first semester of kindergarten to pursue a career in the lucrative glue-eating sector, I can guarantee that they are not as rockheadedly dumb as America’s barren-brained embarrassment of a president.

On Wednesday, supplemental visual and written...

23 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Nov 19, 2019. 24 comments

Are We Pretending Donald Trump Wasn’t Secretly Rushed to the Hospital?

Are We Pretending Donald Trump Wasn’t Secretly Rushed to the Hospital?

Pick one: Donald Trump was rushed to the hospital to visit a sick child because he is such a caring person... Or Donald Trump is the only president in history to break their physical examinations into two parts… Or Donald Trump and the White House staff is lying.

Only one of those makes sense.

Trump is famous for eschewing presidential protocol, for instance, winning the popular vote; hiring...

24 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Nov 16, 2019. 5 comments

Roger Stone Found Guilty of Lying to Congress, Witness Tampering; Not Guilty of Top Hat-Related Crimes

Roger Stone Found Guilty of Lying to Congress, Witness Tampering; Not Guilty of Top Hat-Related Crimes

A jury has convicted the 67-year-old-frat boy who literally wears a motherfucking top hat of lying his ass off and obstructing the congressional investigation into Russian interference into the 2016 election.

It took a federal jury less than two days to find Roger Stone guilty of witness tampering, obstructing Congress and five counts of lying to Congress, according to CNN. Prosecutors argued...

5 Comments

Jay Connor Jay Connor Nov 15, 2019. 15 comments

Rudy Giuliani Under Federal Investigation for Campaign Finance Violations: 'I Would Not Be Surprised If He Gets Indicted'

Rudy Giuliani Under Federal Investigation for Campaign Finance Violations: 'I Would Not Be Surprised If He Gets Indicted'

It’s often said that your friends are a direct reflection of your own character. And if that’s to be believed, it should come as no surprise that Rudy Giuliani, the former mayor of New York City and personal attorney of one Donald John Trump, is being investigated for campaign finance violations and a bunch of other unscrupulous behavior that could earn him a warm, cozy bed in prison.

Cue...

15 Comments

Jay Connor Jay Connor Nov 14, 2019. 6 comments

Trump Got Exposed During the First Day of Impeachment Hearings and His Tax Returns Suffered a Similar Fate

Trump Got Exposed During the First Day of Impeachment Hearings and His Tax Returns Suffered a Similar Fate

If you thought your Wednesday was rough, at least it wasn’t as bad as Donald Trump’s.

While the rest of us trudged through another humpday of ungrateful spouses and crabby co-workers, the Washington Post reports that a U.S. appeals court ruled that Congress can gain access to eight years of Trump’s tax returns:

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit let stand an earlier...

6 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Nov 14, 2019. 22 comments

The Black Person’s Guide to the Trump Impeachment Hearings

The Black Person’s Guide to the Trump Impeachment Hearings

The House of Representatives began impeachment hearings for President Donald J. Trump on Wednesday. While everyone seems to have a different idea of what this actually means, we decided to prepare this handy dandy guide that breaks the process down into digestible language without relying on bullshit phraseology about “American values” and the “integrity of our democracy.”

Impeachment starts...

22 Comments

Michael Harriot Michael Harriot Nov 13, 2019. 15 comments

Trump Woke Up Early to Send a Racist Tweet About DACA

Trump Woke Up Early to Send a Racist Tweet About DACA

“Many white people, while clinging to power and privilege, are racist as fuck. Donald Trump has displayed this at every juncture. If Congress remedies this by kicking the president out of office, maybe Republicans will act with common sense.” —M. Harriot

While that statement might be a grammatical clusterfuck of baseless opinion, it is also the exact inverse of Donald Trump’s top-of...

15 Comments

Jay Connor Jay Connor Nov 13, 2019. 17 comments

GOP Group Drops Commercial Urging Fellow Republicans to Impeach Trump: 'Republicans Should Study the Lessons of Watergate' [Corrected]

GOP Group Drops Commercial Urging Fellow Republicans to Impeach Trump: 'Republicans Should Study the Lessons of Watergate' [Corrected]

The rumors are true: In the near future, Donald Trump could very well be impeached.

Nancy Pelosi Announces Plans to Launch Impeachment Inquiry

Metia hates the grits pot.

Read more

But before we hurl confetti or pummel Trump piñatas to celebrate this momentous occasion, there are still impeachment proceedings that must run their course. And, according to Huffington Post, with these public...

17 Comments

Anne Branigin Anne Branigin Nov 09, 2019. 18 comments

Will House Democrats Add Trump's Long History of Racism to the Articles of Impeachment Against Him?

Will House Democrats Add Trump's Long History of Racism to the Articles of Impeachment Against Him?

As Democrats forge ahead with their impeachment inquiry against President Donald Trump, some members of the party are pushing for the articles of impeachment to include his record of sexual abuse and racism, BuzzFeed reports.

Citing two Democratic congresspeople, Reps. Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) and Al Green (D-TX), BuzzFeed reports that some progressive Democrats and longtime impeachment supporters...

18 Comments

Anne Branigin Anne Branigin Nov 08, 2019. 15 comments

Trump Is Reportedly Heading Down to Alabama to Watch the Footballs. They Need to Boo Him Down There, Too

Trump Is Reportedly Heading Down to Alabama to Watch the Footballs. They Need to Boo Him Down There, Too

In what seems to be an ongoing quest to not get booed at a major sporting event, Donald Trump will head down to Tuscaloosa, Ala., on Saturday to watch the Crimson Tide face off against its SEC rival and the current top-ranked college football program in the country, Louisiana State University.

Shortly after Trump’s trip down to Bryant-Denny stadium was reported, Alabama’s Student Government...

15 Comments

Anne Branigin Anne Branigin Nov 08, 2019.

A Short and Not-at-All Exhaustive List of Things Alabamians Should Vote for That Are Not Jeff Sessions

A Short and Not-at-All Exhaustive List of Things Alabamians Should Vote for That Are Not Jeff Sessions

It is with the utmost disrespect that my heart can muster that I say this: Jeff Sessions has the tenacity of the world’s most stalwart, racist cockroach.

The 72-year-old former attorney general, who Coretta Scott King famously argued was too racist to be a federal judge, is expected to announce today that he is running for his old Alabama senate seat. Donald Trump, apparently, is not a fan of...

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