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covid-19's posts - English uPOST

May 02, 2020. 4 comments

Beverly Hills to Reopen the Botox Economy

Beverly Hills to Reopen the Botox Economy

The threat of candid photographs giving the rest of America a peek at celebrities’

deflated fillers seems to be a greater menace than pandemic worries in the city of Beverly Hills, where a council has voted to allow cosmetic and elective surgical procedures to resume despite statewide stay-at-home orders.

Many don’t realize that Beverly Hills is a city-within-a-city in Los Angeles, with its...

4 Comments

May 01, 2020. 5 comments

A Daycare Provider With Two Teenagers Feels the Weight of the Pandemic

A Daycare Provider With Two Teenagers Feels the Weight of the Pandemic
Imbalancing ActImbalancing ActMothering during the covid-19 pandemic

Marisol, 50, lives in Torrence, California with her husband and two teenagers. She runs an in-home daycare. 

I’ve run my daycare for the past 15 years. Usually, we have anywhere from eight to 20 kids a day. I pick up clients through walk-ins. The daycare constantly changes, which is very challenging for a business. Now, I have...

5 Comments

May 01, 2020. 10 comments

Mike Pence is Very Upset That a Reporter Told the Truth

Mike Pence is Very Upset That a Reporter Told the Truth

When Vice President Mike Pence visited the Mayo Clinic on Tuesday, he was notably not wearing a face mask, despite the clinic’s policy requiring all visitors to wear a mask. On Thursday, Mother Pence

did her wifely duty and claimed, contrary to all evidence, that her husband had no idea he was supposed to cover up his face. But according to Steve Herman, a Voice of America reporter and a...

10 Comments

May 01, 2020. 11 comments

Sorry, This Image Is Cursed

Sorry, This Image Is Cursed


By now, you all should have figured out that the world has rapidly begun its

descent into dystopia . Give it three to four more months and life will be just like Mad Max: Fury Road —battling in the grocery aisles for water, rocking unnecessarily dark eye makeup, only traveling in biker gangs. But one of the clearest signs that our world is becoming more dystopic every day is the wild things...

11 Comments

May 01, 2020. 9 comments

The Next Phase of the Retail Apocalypse Is Here (and It's Not Looking Good)

The Next Phase of the Retail Apocalypse Is Here (and It's Not Looking Good)

Even before the

covid-19 pandemic swept across the country, it was well-known that department stores were struggling to stay afloat financially. But the current public health crisis has accelerated the already-weakened retail industry’s descent into a full-blown financial disaster.

Sales of clothing and accessories dropped by more than half during the month of March, and that trend is...

9 Comments

May 01, 2020. 5 comments

Michiganders with Guns Storm House of Representatives for Their Right to Contract Coronavirus

Michiganders with Guns Storm House of Representatives for Their Right to Contract Coronavirus
Barf Bag Welcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

Protests against national stay-at-home orders have spread rapidly in the last week, fueled by rampant misinformation from far-right conspiracies, economic unrest, and the colossal failure of our government, on both federal and state levels, to accurately respond to this pandemic.

5 Comments

Apr 30, 2020. 18 comments

Mother Tries to Cover Father's Ass

Mother Tries to Cover Father's Ass

Karen “Mother” Pence has been keeping busy these days. She got an

evangelical baddie makeover , did some women-centric outreach for the Trump re-election campaign, and is now lying for her husband, Vice President Mike Pence, on national television. According to Karen, Mike simply didn’t know about Mayo Clinic’s mandatory mask policy! That’s it!

Pence was widely condemned for opting not to wear...

18 Comments

Apr 30, 2020. 17 comments

Native American Woman Dies from Coronavirus in Federal Prison After Giving Birth While On a Ventilator

Native American Woman Dies from Coronavirus in Federal Prison After Giving Birth While On a Ventilator

For weeks, criminal justice reform advocates have been calling for local and federal officials to do the right and humane thing and allow incarcerated people to serve out their sentences at home, as jails and prisons become some of the nation’s worst covid-19 hotspots, due to the inability to maintain social distance in crowded correctional facilities, along with officials’ refusal to...

17 Comments

Apr 30, 2020. 12 comments

Condom Sales Are Down Because No One Is Boning During Lockdown

Condom Sales Are Down Because No One Is Boning During Lockdown

Since the beginning of

lockdown orders and social distancing mandates, many media outlets have come to the same conclusion: that isolating people are unfathomably horny. But I’m skeptical of this narrative—surely many people feel debilitated by the stress and uncertainty of a global health crisis and don’t really feel ready to pounce on their partner (or as gender essentialist Gwyneth...

12 Comments

Apr 30, 2020. 4 comments

There Are Too Many Covid-19 Documentaries in the Works

There Are Too Many Covid-19 Documentaries in the Works

You know what I’d love to watch right now? A movie about covid-19. Or better yet, what about 20 movies about covid-19!

There are at least 20 documentaries in the works about the virus right now, as reported in a piece by Vulture’s Chris Lee, including a covid-19-related project for the flailing platform Quibi and a Ron Howard documentary for National Geographic about World Central Kitchen. The...

4 Comments

Apr 30, 2020. 5 comments

Swedish Town Deploys Chicken Poop to Encourage Social Distancing

Swedish Town Deploys Chicken Poop to Encourage Social Distancing

Here in the U.S., some of us are being very responsible about social distancing, and others of us are gigantic idiots. But while the U.S. does boast the world’s largest population of gigantic idiots per capita, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist in other countries as well. Over in Sweden, one town is dissuading its gigantic idiots from gathering in a park by covering it with chicken shit.

In...

5 Comments

Apr 30, 2020. 11 comments

In Trump Land, Nearly 60,000 Dead Americans Is A 'Success Story'

In Trump Land, Nearly 60,000 Dead Americans Is A 'Success Story'
Barf Bag Welcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

Jared Kushner , senior advisor to President Trump and brain genius who considered covid-19 a matter more of “public psychology than...health” as late as mid-March, displayed his brilliant power of deduction yet again Wednesday morning on Fox and Friends. After claiming that the...

11 Comments

Apr 29, 2020. 6 comments

Kendall Jenner Is Social Distancing in the Back of a Maybach

Kendall Jenner Is Social Distancing in the Back of a Maybach

Today in celebrities doing stupid things: Kendall Jenner and Phoenix Suns basketball player Devin Booker decided to go on a road trip together while the entire state of California is under stay-at-home orders until at least May 19, TMZ reports. Apparently all 1,000 of Jenner’s massive familial homes, and potentially his, were not big enough to contain them. In their defense, it’s probably...

6 Comments

Apr 29, 2020. 19 comments

We're All Having the Same Pandemic Nightmares

We're All Having the Same Pandemic Nightmares

For the last month, I’ve been having a repeated set of vivid anxiety dreams. In some, I walk into rooms and find the dead bodies of people I know and/or love. In others, I’m in a crowded room full of strangers and start panicking about social distance. The other night I dreamed I moved back to an apartment in Bushwick that I hated, and the dream person I was living with threw a party. “You’re...

19 Comments

Apr 29, 2020. 21 comments

Just Cover Your Damn Blowhole, Mike Pence

Just Cover Your Damn Blowhole, Mike Pence
Barf Bag Welcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

Pretty much every health organization on the planet agrees that covering the parts of our bodies most likely to project covid-19-infused droplets onto our fellow humans with a mask or bandana, or if you’re Britney Spears’s boyfriend, a

jockstrap , is common decency in these...

21 Comments

Apr 29, 2020. 24 comments

A Medical Doctor Breaks Down Cristina Cuomo's Luxury, Questionable Covid-19 Treatment

A Medical Doctor Breaks Down Cristina Cuomo's Luxury, Questionable Covid-19 Treatment

Cristina Cuomo, wife of CNN’s Chris Cuomo and sister-in-law to New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, is on the mend after a

covid-19 diagnosis , a steady recovery she attributes not to mainstream doctors or health heroes, but a slew of alternative health remedies. The self-described “wellness worshiper” is a steadily rising star in the already crowded wellness influencer field, and she even has her...

24 Comments

Apr 29, 2020. 13 comments

Reporter Almost Got Away With Skipping Pants On Good Morning America

Reporter Almost Got Away With Skipping Pants On Good Morning America

During this time of covid-19 induced home quarantine and social distancing, hopping on a video chat to talk to co-workers, friends, and family is a regular occurrence, while the need to

look presentable has petered out–a potentially disastrous combination. I, for one, have had many a pantless zoom call or during a video chat with my therapist. But the key to succeeding in such a risky, lazy...

13 Comments

Apr 28, 2020. 12 comments

Royal Caribbean Hopes Patenting a Face Mask Will Do the Trick

Royal Caribbean Hopes Patenting a Face Mask Will Do the Trick

Cruises as we know them may never be the same thanks to covid-19, because if we’ve learned anything from years of norovirus poop cruise horror stories, nothing spreads contagions like a tightly packed ship.

But Royal Caribbean isn’t ready to give up just yet, despite overwhelming evidence that the days of germ-riddled cruises should probably just end. In what seems like an incredibly...

12 Comments

Apr 27, 2020. 16 comments

State Senator Insists His Mask is Not the Confederate Flag, Then Apologizes For Mask That is Not the Confederate Flag

State Senator Insists His Mask is Not the Confederate Flag, Then Apologizes For Mask That is Not the Confederate Flag
Big Time Small-Time Dicks Welcome to Big Time Small-Time Dicks, a regular column on The Slot that explores local politicians, small-town scandals, and everything else making life miserable on a local level.

As we’re all encouraged to wear face masks to protect ourselves and others from the spread of the novel coronavirus, some are using their face masks to make a statement. In the case of...

16 Comments

Apr 27, 2020. 24 comments

The Great Deflation: Plastic Surgeons On What's Happening to Famous Faces

The Great Deflation: Plastic Surgeons On What's Happening to Famous Faces

Celebrities are just like us in one way: They, too, have had their routines disrupted by covid-19. Some appear to only leave their homes to take a walk or go to the grocery store. Others cannot be bothered to do their everyday makeup; some

throw on a bit of glam for social media posts in an attempt to maintain relevancy. Many have avoided the public altogether, save for paparazzi shots —and...

24 Comments