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Mar 28, 2020 at 02:40.

When Will Britney Spears Return to TikTok?

When Will Britney Spears Return to TikTok?

Very few celebrities are actually good at TikTok, mostly because their attempts to pander to increasingly younger fanbases read as thirsty and transparently out-of-touch. Britney Spears, in contrast, was a ray of light on the platform, offering an unfiltered look at the enigma that is her interior life. Sadly, she’s been absent for a month, and her last run of consecutive posts were...

Mar 28, 2020 at 00:40. 8 comments

Please Get These Coronavirus PSAs From the Stars of Contagion Out of My Face!

Please Get These Coronavirus PSAs From the Stars of Contagion Out of My Face!

In a horrific turn of events, I have watched Contagion at least three times this past month—once for work, once for pleasure, and once, ambiently, as my sister was watching it in the shared common space of our bunker. I do not want to think about Contagion any more than I have to, but these goddamn PSAs from the stars of that film are making me do so and I reject that notion with every fiber...

8 Comments

Mar 26, 2020.

What Are the Paparazzi Doing Right Now? Here Are Some Answers

What Are the Paparazzi Doing Right Now? Here Are Some Answers

While the majority of celebrities appear to be participating in social distancing , hidden from infection in the comfort of their Calabasas McMansions, it certainly feels like they’re more in the public eye than ever. That is because they are super bored ; and because they are super bored, they’ve chosen to spend their hours on social media like the rest of us. Still, a couple of mask...

Mar 26, 2020. 16 comments

Miley Cyrus and I Are Handling Social Distancing Very Differently

Miley Cyrus and I Are Handling Social Distancing Very Differently

For the last few weeks, I have been alone in my apartment, wracked with fear that everyone I love will get sick and die, and missing human contact that doesn’t require a microphone. Indeed, I’m losing my mind so fully in semi-isolation that I’ve started befriending all my forks. There are certainly some benefits to social distance: I feel more connected to some of my friends and family who...

16 Comments

Mar 25, 2020. 2 comments

Give Drake Some Water

Give Drake Some Water

Being cooped up for a near indefinite amount of time while social distancing can mess with a person’s brain in rather severe ways. Personally, I’ve begun doing all sorts of strange things: chewing gum while taking a shower, attempting to smoke from my bong while sitting upside down on the couch, crying about things my villagers said to me in Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Rihanna and Drake,...

2 Comments

Mar 24, 2020. 19 comments

Why Are Celebrities Being Treated Like Pandemic Experts?

Why Are Celebrities Being Treated Like Pandemic Experts?

On March 19, CNN hosted a coronavirus town hall featuring insights from Dr. Anthony Fauci, Dr. Mike Ryan, an executive director of the WHO Health Emergencies Program, and, for some reason, Sean Penn, who was there under the guise of having disaster expertise because of his charitable efforts in Haiti following the 2010 earthquake.

Although the global Coronavirus outbreak and the Haitian...

19 Comments

Mar 19, 2020. 9 comments

No Amount of Social Distancing Can Keep These Celebrities Inside!

No Amount of Social Distancing Can Keep These Celebrities Inside!

It seems like mostly everyone is trapped inside. As more grocery stores and restaurants receive orders to halve their staffs during the coronavirus outbreak, I’m sure the number of people stuck at home will only increase.

Celebrities, however, often have an intense need to be seen, paid attention to, photographed. Being permanently mired indoors means no paparazzi to take pictures of them,...

9 Comments

Mar 18, 2020. 6 comments

The Celebrities Are Bored

The Celebrities Are Bored

A few days or a few weeks into self-isolating , it doesn’t matter—at some point, we’re all going to start feeling a little insane. Reminding yourself that you are benefitting the greater good and saving lives may help ease those anxieties, as does donating from afar , but for the most part, feeling a little antsy is par for the course. You’re not alone there. The celebrities are also bored.

6 Comments

Mar 13, 2020. 11 comments

What Am I Gonna Do Without Wendy Williams to Hate-Watch?

What Am I Gonna Do Without Wendy Williams to Hate-Watch?

It seems like everyone, across every corner of the American entertainment industry, is shutting down production. It’s the sensible—and civically responsible—thing to do. And for much of the recent news cycle, which also saw hosted television shows limit audience members, I didn’t mind much that there’d be less Jimmy Fallon to watch on television. But this morning is different. Wendy Williams...

11 Comments

Mar 12, 2020. 19 comments

Alexandra Grant Seems Way Cooler Than Her Famous Boyfriend (Keanu Reeves)

Alexandra Grant Seems Way Cooler Than Her Famous Boyfriend (Keanu Reeves)

When Alexandra Grant, Keanu Reeves’s girlfriend, first entered the public conscience, there was plenty of discussion about how “regular” she looked. It was an attempt, I believe, at making her more relatable, and not a malicious endeavor. Still, as the internet tripped over itself to make a famous celebrity’s girlfriend seem just like them, it missed a rather glaring fact about Grant: She’s...

19 Comments

Mar 12, 2020. 4 comments

Scenes From the Frontline of Hollywood's TikTok Invasion

Scenes From the Frontline of Hollywood's TikTok Invasion

In December, a video blazed through gay Twitter of a teen doing the popular “Say So” dance, pioneered by TikTok star Haley Sharpe. Halfway through the video, the teen is interrupted by Laura Dern, her mother, who proceeds to finish the dance (and badly.) To date, the video has over 200,000 likes and 2,300 comments. Jaya Harper, Dern’s daughter, soon faded from visibility, but since then,...

4 Comments

Mar 09, 2020. 5 comments

Where in the World Is Poor Pete Davidson?

Where in the World Is Poor Pete Davidson?

When Pete Davidson was trawling around with Ariana Grande, I had to look at him plenty. Paparazzi caught him just about everywhere he went. The same was mostly true of his “relationship” with Kaia Gerber, who also had an interest in being photographed with the occasional comedy club hanger-on, herself hailing from a famous family and being a fashion model on the rise. Davidson benefitted from...

5 Comments

Mar 06, 2020. 18 comments

Wendy Williams Has Stepped in Some Shit Again Over Ashley Graham's Diaper Pic

Wendy Williams Has Stepped in Some Shit Again Over Ashley Graham's Diaper Pic

Wendy Williams would probably be much less famous if she stopped haranguing Instagram influencers and random passersby. She would have never had the influence on radio that she had if she wasn’t regularly insulting guests to their faces—remember that Whitney Houston interview?—nor would her talk show have lasted as long as it has, were she not farting on camera and informing gay audience ...

18 Comments

Mar 05, 2020. 10 comments

Nicolas Ghesquière Should Not Be Allowed to Do This

Nicolas Ghesquière Should Not Be Allowed to Do This

At one point in recent fashion history, Louis Vuitton creative director Nicolas Ghesquière was revered as a god. Every celebrity wanted to be dressed by him, and more importantly, every stylist coveted the larger-than-life gowns he created at Balenciaga, where he was hired as creative director in 1997. I still have his Spring/Summer 2001 campaign, shot by Inez and Vinoodh, hanging on my wall,...

10 Comments

Mar 05, 2020. 14 comments

Here Come the Meaningless, Mandatory Celebrity Endorsements

Here Come the Meaningless, Mandatory Celebrity Endorsements

Celebrity political endorsements mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things: If Beyonce’s 11th-hour endorsement of Beto O’Rourke couldn’t nab him the senate race in 2018, then how powerful can any of the plebian ones be, really? But with these public proclamations, stars do manage to at least remind their less tuned in fans that an election is happening, and if that gets some...

14 Comments

Mar 03, 2020. 4 comments

Lady Gaga Canceled Earth and Moved Elsewhere to Record Her Next Album

Lady Gaga Canceled Earth and Moved Elsewhere to Record Her Next Album

While Lady Gaga has always lived on Earth, she has never been of Earth. Whether through witchcraft or purposeful delusion, she has traipsed through her career like a glamorous alien—endlessly changing between pop goddess and pop victim and makeup mogul and Amazon employee and movie star and Vegas showgirl, all while maintaining an over-the-top predilection for wigs and couture. It’s been an...

4 Comments

Feb 10, 2020. 8 comments

Cast Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph in Some Dramas!

Cast Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph in Some Dramas!

Actors Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig love acting. They’re actors! Of course, they love acting and being in movies that allow them to act and be actors. At the Oscars tonight, the two treated us to some of their non-comedic acting abilities, because again—acting is super fun! (Did I make it clear enough how much these two really love acting?)

8 Comments

Jan 31, 2020. 19 comments

Recently Exorcised Julianne Hough Has Transcended the Physical Plane to Somewhere Her Husband Probably Isn't

Recently Exorcised Julianne Hough Has Transcended the Physical Plane to Somewhere Her Husband Probably Isn't

When one receives an energy healing and demonic exorcism from the sort of person who claims he can disappear breast cancer, one can also expect to experience some sort of transcendental revelation—or the complete transformation of your physical body into something incomprehensible to those on the mortal plane. Currently, Julianne Hough is having this sort of crisis.

In December, Page Six

19 Comments

Jan 28, 2020. 8 comments

How to Talk About Kobe Bryant’s Legacy

How to Talk About Kobe Bryant’s Legacy

Grief is ugly and embarrassing, especially the kind of day-ruining grief that follows the untimely death of a widely beloved celebrity, those virtual strangers who feel anything but. The death of basketball giant Kobe Bryant, who died Sunday in a helicopter crash outside of Los Angeles along with his daughter and seven others, has draped a cape of grief over the world at large, with vigils...

8 Comments

Rebecca Fishbein Rebecca Fishbein Dec 26, 2019. 13 comments

Here's How the Celebrities Are Outdoing Your Christmas

Here's How the Celebrities Are Outdoing Your Christmas

Christmas is a special day for celebrating dead trees and the birth of a small, magical baby. It is also a day for celebrating the cleaning out of one’s bank account, thanks to the relentless cost of the aforementioned dead trees, dead tree-decorating decor, big meals, plane tickets, post-holiday therapy, gifts, more gifts, and more more gifts. And it is a day for complaining about going home...

13 Comments