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Meh Car Monday's posts - English uPOST

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Jul 11, 2019.

This Is How You Do a Boring Car Right

This Is How You Do a Boring Car Right

I think my most fervently-held political belief may be my fierce allegiance to the Antiboca movement, the grassroots organization of people very much against boring cars. That’s why I’m so baffled about my fascination with this car, the Daihatsu Applause. It’s a boring car. I can see that. And yet, somehow, it’s a boring car done right, and I have to respect that.

Keep in mind, this is coming...

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Jul 10, 2019.

Meh Car Monday: The Cadillac BLS Was A Caddy For Europe But Europe Was Like Nah, We're Cool

Meh Car Monday: The Cadillac BLS Was A Caddy For Europe But Europe Was Like Nah, We're Cool

This week’s Meh Car Monday is sort of a counterpart to another recent Meh Car, the Cadillac Catera . Where the Catera was an American brand looking to Europe to find a car that would be more exciting to Americans, the Cadillac BLS was an American brand taking a European car and trying to sell it to Europeans, but without anything at all that you could give a shit about. It was, however, the...

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Feb 12, 2019. 23 comments

Meh Car Monday: The Ford Windstar Proves Meh-ness Is Like Entropy

Meh Car Monday: The Ford Windstar Proves Meh-ness Is Like Entropy

 I know there’s probably a lot of you out there that believe that choosing a minivan as a meh car is, somehow, unfair, like it’s punching down. I disagree, because I actually like minivans, and believe there’s no reason they have to succumb to the clammy, overly warm cloak of meh-ness. Unfortunately, it seems that meh-ness, like entropy, is a state that all vehicular systems can decay into,...

23 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Feb 05, 2019. 23 comments

Meh Car Monday: All Hail the Buick Cascada, a Car You Never Think About

Meh Car Monday: All Hail the Buick Cascada, a Car You Never Think About

As far as Meh Cars go, you’d think the Buick Cascada would be pretty safe from inclusion into this miserable fraternity, at least on paper. It’s a convertible, a rare four-seat convertible, even! It’s supposed to be fun, it has weird extra taillights in the trunk —this thing should be meh-proof, right? Well, it’s not. It’s not at all. No, the Buick Cascada is a testimony to the true power of...

23 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Jan 08, 2019. 22 comments

Meh Car Monday: The Old Mercedes-Benz CLA Is Really Pretty Mehcedes-Boringz

Meh Car Monday: The Old Mercedes-Benz CLA Is Really Pretty Mehcedes-Boringz

It’s no secret that the vast majority of the cars chosen for Meh Car Monday tend to come from either what’s generally known as the Malaise Era: that grim span of time from around 1972 to 1982 or so when, automotively, everything just sort of sucked, or from the early-to-mid 1990s, when too many cars seemed to be homogenizing into giant silver suppositories. Today, we’re going to try something...

22 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Dec 04, 2018. 22 comments

Meh Car Monday: The Kia Borrego Was an Interesting SUV That Was Meh-Rdered

Meh Car Monday: The Kia Borrego Was an Interesting SUV That Was Meh-Rdered

This week’s Meh Car Monday is a little bit different than most because the car we’re talking about didn’t have to be meh, but powerful and insidious decisions—especially styling decisions—doomed this beast to a short, sad life of meh-sery. This is the cautionary tale of the Kia Borrego.

The Borrego’s story is tragic because nothing about how it started suggests its ignominious and boring end....

22 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Nov 06, 2018. 20 comments

Meh Car Monday: There's a Reason You've Never Heard of the Fiat Tempra

Meh Car Monday: There's a Reason You've Never Heard of the Fiat Tempra

Sometimes I feel like, because of their oppressive familiarity, I tend to unfairly pick American, especially GM, cars for Meh Car Monday candidates. So, in the interest of spreading the thick, featureless gray paste of Meh more evenly over the globe, this week I’ve found a very reasonable and capable car that is richly and deeply meh: the Fiat Tempra.

The name “Tempra” I think is some variant...

20 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Oct 30, 2018. 22 comments

Meh Car Monday: What Was the Point of the Scion xD?

Meh Car Monday: What Was the Point of the Scion xD?

I’ll preface this one with a reminder that Meh Cars are not necessarily bad cars. Sometimes they’re good cars that just don’t have much reason to be, or anything to actually do. It’s like if you believe in reincarnation, the idea that a wonderful, caring, creative soul could be born as, say, a vole. Voles do their jobs just fine, but all of the really special stuff of that soul just isn’t...

22 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Oct 23, 2018. 21 comments

Meh Car Monday: Soar Into Forgettability Like an Eagle Summit

Meh Car Monday: Soar Into Forgettability Like an Eagle Summit

If there was some global contest where an eccentric trillionaire would give you any car you asked for, as long as no one else asked for that car, a pretty safe bet would be to ask for an Eagle Summit sedan, because absolutely nobody will remember or care enough about that car to speak its name. So, you’d probably win the car, but the car you’d win would be an Eagle Summit sedan, so is that...

21 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Oct 16, 2018. 22 comments

Meh Car Monday: You Can Actually Still Buy a Lincoln MKT But You Won't Because Nobody Bothers

Meh Car Monday: You Can Actually Still Buy a Lincoln MKT But You Won't Because Nobody Bothers

Being a writer in this glorious modern age is fascinating. On one hand, it means every little mistake you make is immediately found and people all over the world get to call you a moron in real time. On the other, it means that your readers can get directly involved, which I love. That’s why today’s Meh Car comes from a reader named Preston who suggests not just any Meh Car, but his own Meh...

22 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Oct 09, 2018. 19 comments

Meh Car Monday: Asüna Was an Entire Meh Car Brand That Nobody Bothers to Remember

Meh Car Monday: Asüna Was an Entire Meh Car Brand That Nobody Bothers to Remember

In some ways, this week’s edition of Meh Car Monday is going to be even trickier to write, because it’s not just about one meh car, it’s about a whole meh car brand. The brand is staggeringly meh for a number of reasons: first, it was Canada-only, second, it didn’t even have any cars unique to it, third, it only lasted two years, and nobody still cares enough for a fourth reason. It’s a brand...

19 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Sep 25, 2018. 23 comments

Meh Car Monday: I'm Not Certain I Didn't Just Make Up The Mitsubishi Tredia

Meh Car Monday: I'm Not Certain I Didn't Just Make Up The Mitsubishi Tredia

For a car obsessive such as myself, encountering a car so boring you’re not even sure you’ve ever heard the name spoken out loud is a disturbing experience, one that makes you question the very fabric of reality. I mean, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a Mitsubishi Tredia before, but have I, really? Maybe it was an Isuzu I-Mark, or an old Stanza, or almost anything else? And the name? Tredia? What...

23 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Sep 18, 2018. 22 comments

Meh Car Monday: Nobody Cares About The Cadillac Catera

Meh Car Monday: Nobody Cares About The Cadillac Catera

In the 1990s, Cadillac was in a transition period, attempting to move from making soft, luxuriant motorized living rooms to making more modern, better-handling cars that could, maybe if you really squint and take some pills, have competed with BMWs or Mercedes. This was a sort of adolescence for modern Cadillac, and like all adolescences, there were some sort of embarrassing ideas. Ideas like...

22 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Aug 21, 2018. 22 comments

Meh Car Monday: The Famous, Iconic Chevrolet Bel Air Has It Coming

Meh Car Monday: The Famous, Iconic Chevrolet Bel Air Has It Coming

I have a feeling that this will be one of the more controversial Meh Car Mondays I’ve done, but I think it’s one that has to happen. Unusually for Meh Car Monday, I’m going to be focusing on a car with not just a significant following, but one that is arguably an actual automotive icon. It’s adored by innumerable old men in terrible shirts, but, if we’re really being objective, it’s a meh...

22 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Aug 14, 2018. 23 comments

Meh Car Monday: The Tenth-Generation Ford Thunderbird Has Way More Bird Than Thunder

Meh Car Monday: The Tenth-Generation Ford Thunderbird Has Way More Bird Than Thunder

Have you ever seen something like a corporate fun run, and there’s some speeches or something before it gets all started, and some executive pulls the fun run company t-shirt over their button-down shirt and tie? You know how awkward and stiff and uncomfortable that looks? That’s what the tenth-generation Ford Thunderbird was. Some mid-level executive with a fun run shirt pulled awkwardly...

23 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Aug 08, 2018. 22 comments

Meh Car Monday: The Hyundai Veracruz, Which You Forgot Existed Until Just Now

Meh Car Monday: The Hyundai Veracruz, Which You Forgot Existed Until Just Now

I think it can actually cause you some brain damage if you spend too long trying to picture a Hyundai Veracruz. The primate brain simply isn’t capable of performing such an act, but it almost can, so the brain’s vision and car-identification centers can overwork themselves to such a degree that they can cause a stroke or a full-on cranial explosion. I’ve seen it happen on the internet. So,...

22 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Jul 24, 2018. 19 comments

Meh Car Monday: The Buick Somerset, Murdered By Lack Of Interest

Meh Car Monday: The Buick Somerset, Murdered By Lack Of Interest

It always brings me a special sort of miserable joy when I find a car for Meh Car Monday that nobody seems to remember. That’s the real mark of a true meh car, isn’t it? A complete and comprehensive forgetability, an almost supernatural amnesiac quality. The Buick Somerset has this in big, forgettable, damp piles. I bet even after reading this article about it, it’ll live in your mind for, at...

19 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Jul 12, 2018. 24 comments

Meh Car Monday: Fly With The Plymouth Volaré Into Clouds Of Apathy

Meh Car Monday: Fly With The Plymouth Volaré Into Clouds Of Apathy

I bet if you assembled a dream team of the world’s most creative, open-minded, and visionary poets, freethinkers, and general imbibers of life’s rich, heady brew, and gave them a Plymouth Volare to feel, embrace, explore, experience, my guess is they’d come away thinking it’s “a car.” Maybe the more astute and/or high ones might realize it’s sort of old. That’s about the most you can hope for...

24 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Jul 04, 2018. 22 comments

Meh Car Monday: The Empty Scent Of The Sentra

Meh Car Monday: The Empty Scent Of The Sentra

I suspect many of you saw the word “Sentra” and immediately exciting images of the under-appreciated classic Sentra SE-R popped into your head, or perhaps some of the charmingly practical ‘80s-era Sentras. If that’s you, you’re likely hurt and confused. Those Sentras weren’t meh!, you likely shouted, making everyone at the coffeeshop stare at you and a lone infant start to wail in fear. And...

22 Comments

Jason Torchinsky Jason Torchinsky Jun 27, 2018. 24 comments

Meh Car Monday: The Plymouth Breeze, The Car Named For A Slight Movement Of Empty Air

Meh Car Monday: The Plymouth Breeze, The Car Named For A Slight Movement Of Empty Air

After more than a year of doing these Meh Car Mondays, I’m starting to realize some things. Things like the most meh decade for cars seems to be the 1990s. At some point we’ll evaluate why this is, but for today I just want to talk about a fiercely meh car that’s very much a product of the 1990s: the Plymouth Breeze, a car you probably haven’t thought about in years unless you’re trapped in...

24 Comments

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