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Tom Ley Tom Ley Oct 07, 2019. 6 comments

The Colts Will Spend Today Picking The Chiefs Out Of Their Treads

The Colts Will Spend Today Picking The Chiefs Out Of Their Treads
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There’s need to go crazy and say that the Colts spent last night drawing up the blueprints for how to beat Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs, or that running the ball is suddenly the key to winning in the NFL. This was just one game, but it was fun as hell, and it’s worth spending some time today luxuriating in just how...

6 Comments

Gabe Fernandez Gabe Fernandez Sep 30, 2019. 15 comments

Vontaze Burfict Ejected For Particularly Heinous Late Hit On Jack Doyle

Vontaze Burfict Ejected For Particularly Heinous Late Hit On Jack Doyle

Much like the sun is guaranteed to set in the west each day, Vontaze Burfict will almost certainly be ejected for laying down a dirty hit sometime during an NFL season. This is exactly what happened early in the second quarter of Colts-Raiders on Sunday: Seconds after Jack Doyle made a catch on his knees, the Oakland captain (!!) decided to charge head first towards the tight end’s skull to...

15 Comments

Gabe Fernandez Gabe Fernandez Sep 23, 2019. 7 comments

Keanu Neal Penalized For Unsportsmanlike Conduct After Throwing Helmet In Injury-Related Frustration

Keanu Neal Penalized For Unsportsmanlike Conduct After Throwing Helmet In Injury-Related Frustration

Falcons safety Keanu Neal suffered a pretty bad injury to his leg just before halftime against the Colts on Saturday. That much became clear when he threw his helmet in frustration and was crying by the time the training staff got to him. While the pain certainly played a part in his emotional state, what likely added to it was the fact that he was just one year removed from suffering a...

7 Comments

Patrick Redford Patrick Redford Sep 18, 2019. 9 comments

Struggling Kicker Adam Vinatieri Says He Won't Retire Yet, But He Has "Demons" In His Head

Struggling Kicker Adam Vinatieri Says He Won't Retire Yet, But He Has "Demons" In His Head

The Indianapolis Colts’ 46-year-old kicker Adam Vinatieri has looked depressingly mortal through the first two weeks of the NFL season. In two close games, he’s missed a total of two field goals and three extra points. Because Vinatieri’s an NFL all-timer, he might escape the fate that would’ve already befallen any other kicker with his accuracy issues, but he raised eyebrows and fueled...

9 Comments

Barry Petchesky Barry Petchesky Sep 16, 2019. 22 comments

We Might Have Seen Adam Vinatieri's Last Kick

We Might Have Seen Adam Vinatieri's Last Kick

If Adam Vinatieri were a normal kicker, the Colts would just cut him today. Vinatieiri has had a nightmare start to his season, missing a pair of extra points in Indianapolis’s 19-17 win over the Titans, a week after missing two FGs and an XP in a six-point loss to the Chargers. That’s nine points left on the board through two games, and that’s not acceptable for an NFL kicker.

But Adam...

22 Comments

Tom Ley Tom Ley Sep 16, 2019. 12 comments

Titans' Home Debut Features On-Field Fireball

Titans' Home Debut Features On-Field Fireball
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The Tennessee Titans just kicked off their first home game of the season, and attempted to wow the home fans with a pregame pyrotechnic display. It didn’t go very well!

This is probably the most excitement the AFC South will produce all season.

12 Comments

David Roth David Roth Aug 30, 2019. 3 comments

Andrew Luck And The Art Of The Abrupt Exit

Andrew Luck And The Art Of The Abrupt Exit

I’m not saying that you don’t want to get a text message from Drew Magary on a Saturday night. For one thing it’s easily the quietest way to interact with him, and it’s also a good source of breaking news if you are avoiding your computer at a time when a prominent NFL quarterback abruptly plays the Fuck This, Actually card and walks away from the game. It was clear, from the moment that...

3 Comments

Tom Ley Tom Ley Aug 29, 2019. 21 comments

The Colts Have Entered The Quarterback Pit

The Colts Have Entered The Quarterback Pit

If nothing else, the surprise retirement of former Colts quarterback Andrew Luck demonstrates just how close to the gutter so many solidly mid-tier NFL teams actually are. One day you’re preparing for a season with the expectation that your franchise quarterback will make good on those playoff aspirations, and the next sentences like these are being written about you:

The Indianapolis Colts...

21 Comments

Nate Jackson Nate Jackson Aug 29, 2019. 8 comments

Football Doesn't Let You Leave

Football Doesn't Let You Leave

Empathy isn’t one of football’s commanding virtues. You don’t play because you care about the other guy’s pain. You play because you want to crush him. Same goes for watching—either you disconnect from the consequences, or you can’t really enjoy it.

While Andrew Luck’s decision to retire has baffled many fans (and I include journalists here, because journalists are the biggest fans), every NFL...

8 Comments

Barry Petchesky Barry Petchesky Aug 27, 2019. 23 comments

Those Who've Faced Andrew Luck's Choice Know Why He Made It

Those Who've Faced Andrew Luck's Choice Know Why He Made It

The single most telling thing in the wake of Andrew Luck’s surprise retirement is the near-unanimous support for his decision from other football players. The sports shouters on your TV and in your Twitter machine can rail against soft millennials all they like, but the people who know what it’s like to play high-level football have, almost to a man, said Yeah, I get it. I absolutely...

23 Comments

Ray Ratto Ray Ratto Aug 27, 2019. 16 comments

What Should Andrew Luck Do With His Superpower Of Making Dumb People Mad?

What Should Andrew Luck Do With His Superpower Of Making Dumb People Mad?

I imagine Andrew Luck is thinking about a Senate run today. Nothing, after all, inspires dreams of grandeur quite as quickly as doing something personal and painful that makes America pick a side, twitch like a worker in a meth lab, and then scream at each other for a few days.

That’s a gift. Knowing that America is an economy based solely on bitching at each other, and doing something that...

16 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 27, 2019. 11 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Indianapolis Colts

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Indianapolis Colts

Some people are fans of the Indianapolis Colts. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Indianapolis Colts. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: You killed him.

Your 2018 record: 10-6. After a 1-5 start where it looked like new head coach Frank Reich was in way over his head (and he was ), the Colts ripped...

11 Comments

Gabe Fernandez Gabe Fernandez Aug 26, 2019. 18 comments

Report: The Colts Aren't Going To Be Dicks About Andrew Luck's Money

Report: The Colts Aren't Going To Be Dicks About Andrew Luck's Money

For as many questions as Andrew Luck leaves behind with his sudden retirement , there is a fair amount that people actually understand about the implications of his retirement from a financial sense. Part of the sacrifice that historically comes with calling it a career earlier than expected—in addition to giving up future salary—is the fact that the player may be required by their team to...

18 Comments

Gabe Fernandez Gabe Fernandez Aug 25, 2019. 22 comments

Andrew Luck Walked Off To A Chorus Of Boos, And One Guy Yelling "Don't Do It!"

Andrew Luck Walked Off To A Chorus Of Boos, And One Guy Yelling "Don't Do It!"

News of Andrew Luck’s impending retirement must have surely been an absolute gut punch to learn about for any Colts fan, but, for some watching Bears-Colts in Indianapolis on Sunday, it also elicited serious feelings of anger. These emotions manifested themselves into the form of a shower of boos towards the second-best quarterback in franchise history as he walked off the only home field...

22 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 25, 2019. 22 comments

What Andrew Luck Means

What Andrew Luck Means

Given the circumstances, it’s remarkable Andrew Luck wasn’t playing for the Detroit Lions. The Colts franchise QB is retiring less than two weeks before the NFL season is slated to begin. There’s already a host of people, namely idiot Colts fans, ready to castigate Luck for his timing, but Luck is hardly the first NFL player to bow out of the sport in what ought to be his prime, nor will he...

22 Comments

Dan McQuade Dan McQuade Aug 25, 2019. 21 comments

Report: Holy Shit! Andrew Luck Is Retiring!

Report: Holy Shit! Andrew Luck Is Retiring!

ESPN is reporting that Andrew Luck just up and retired tonight. The season is just two weeks away! The Colts were playing a preseason game when the news broke!

After Adam Schefter’s report, oddly enough, Luck was spotted on the Indianapolis sideline chatting with teammates even though he is “checking out” of the NFL.

The Colts’ backup QB is Jacoby Brissett, who was already held out of...

21 Comments

Chris Thompson Chris Thompson Aug 14, 2019. 5 comments

Andrew Luck's "Small Little Bone" Injury Is Apparently On The Move

Andrew Luck's "Small Little Bone" Injury Is Apparently On The Move

The saga of Andrew Luck’s strained calf has reached the point where it’s time to worry whether anyone knows just what the hell is going on. Colts owner Jim Irsay identified a “small little bone ” in Luck’s left leg as the source of the quarterback’s ongoing pain and discomfort, which leads to all sorts of questions about just what the hell kinds of surplus bones Luck might have floating...

5 Comments

Patrick Redford Patrick Redford Aug 14, 2019. 11 comments

Jim Irsay Reveals That Andrew Luck Is Suffering From An Issue With His "Small Little Bone"

Jim Irsay Reveals That Andrew Luck Is Suffering From An Issue With His "Small Little Bone"

In an unwelcome throwback to offseasons past, Indianapolis Colts quarterback Andrew Luck has been largely absent from most team offseason practices and workouts as he has dealt with a lingering injury. This time, the problem is not his chronically borked throwing shoulder, but rather a left calf strain that he suffered in late April.

In May, Colts head coach Frank Reich described the injury...

11 Comments

Chris Thompson Chris Thompson Jul 26, 2019. 12 comments

The Colts Are Afraid Of Andrew Luck's Leg Pulling A Kevin Durant

The Colts Are Afraid Of Andrew Luck's Leg Pulling A Kevin Durant

Colts quarterback Andrew Luck has already been through several circles of injury hell, and lost roughly a jillion years of his career to a devastating shoulder injury. Right now he’s recovering from a little old calf injury suffered during the spring, but after joining the rest of the world in watching Kevin Durant’s calf injury become a career-altering ruptured Achilles tendon, the Colts...

12 Comments

Dom Cosentino Dom Cosentino Jun 18, 2019. 20 comments

QBs Are Getting More Expensive. Here's How NFL Teams Can Pay Them And Still Win.

QBs Are Getting More Expensive. Here's How NFL Teams Can Pay Them And Still Win.

Quarterback is the one NFL position that has seen consistent, top-of-the-market contract growth in recent years. This offseason, Russell Wilson and Ben Roethlisberger pushed that to new heights, with respective deals from the Seahawks and Steelers that average $35 million and $34 million in annual value, and which exceeded the $33.5 million Aaron Rodgers got last summer from the Packers....

20 Comments

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