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Germany's posts - English uPOST

Apr 23, 2020.

Germany Bans Fun For Six More Months

Germany Bans Fun For Six More Months

Blah blah coronavirus blah blah unprecedented carnage blah blah blah economic ruin, two new whoppers have emerged out of Germany.

Lawmakers in Berlin have extended some lockdown orders through late October, ordering all gatherings of more than 5,000 people to remain closed.

This decree most notably puts a halt to the city’s annual Berlin Marathon, which last year drew more than 62,000 runners...

Luis Paez-Pumar Luis Paez-Pumar Oct 29, 2019.

German Sunday League Player Knocks Referee Out Cold After Receiving Red Card

German Sunday League Player Knocks Referee Out Cold After Receiving Red Card

It’s not clear what this unidentified player did to earn a red card in a German amateur soccer match between FSV Münster and TV Smend, but he definitely deserved a red and even more for his reaction to the card, which was to punch the referee’s lights out:

According to the Echo, match officials immediately stopped the game and called the police. When medical help arrived, the medics had to...

Luis Paez-Pumar Luis Paez-Pumar Oct 09, 2019. 11 comments

Germany Rose And Fell With Bastian Schweinsteiger

Germany Rose And Fell With Bastian Schweinsteiger

Bastian Schweinsteiger was three different players. The German superstar, who announced his retirement from soccer on Tuesday, is leaving behind one of the most peculiar careers in recent soccer memory. From a wide player breaking into Germany’s 2006 World Cup side, to one of the best and most idiosyncratic central midfielders in the world, and finally to his farewell run as a center back in...

11 Comments

Luis Paez-Pumar Luis Paez-Pumar Sep 17, 2019. 12 comments

The Battle For Germany's Starting Goalkeeper Spot Is Now Being Waged In Public

The Battle For Germany's Starting Goalkeeper Spot Is Now Being Waged In Public

Germany have a problem—one many national teams would kill for, but a problem nonetheless. Barcelona goalkeeper Marc-André ter Stegen is one of the very best goalies in the world, and yet he can’t get any gametime for his national team. Manuel Neuer, who not that long ago was handily the game’s single best keeper, starts in goal and captains the German national team, even though he’s no longer...

12 Comments

Gabe Fernandez Gabe Fernandez Jun 30, 2019. 12 comments

Sweden Snaps 24-Year Losing Streak Against Germany With 2-1 Victory

Sweden Snaps 24-Year Losing Streak Against Germany With 2-1 Victory

Sweden entered their quarterfinal match up with Germany sick and tired of hearing about this damn losing streak that has plagued their national team for nearly two-and-a-half decades, but it’s hard to ignore something like that given the history between the two sides. Since 1995, Germany had defeated Sweden in every single major tournament they’ve faced off in before today. This streak...

12 Comments

Gabe Fernandez Gabe Fernandez Jun 23, 2019. 20 comments

Lisa Byington And Cat Whitehill Bust Out Lazy Tropes About African Teams For Their Germany-Nigeria Commentary

Lisa Byington And Cat Whitehill Bust Out Lazy Tropes About African Teams For Their Germany-Nigeria Commentary

Commentating on live sports for a national television audience can be a herculean task, but it’s a lot easier if you decide to rely on tired racial stereotypes to fill the dead air—as Fox’s Lisa Byington and Cat Whitehill discovered on Saturday.

The issues started early for the broadcasting team, with Byington getting things started less than 10 minutes into a match by parroting what the...

20 Comments

Luisa Rollenhagen Luisa Rollenhagen Jun 14, 2019. 13 comments

What Do Germany Have To Do To Get Anyone At Home To Pay Attention?

What Do Germany Have To Do To Get Anyone At Home To Pay Attention?

BERLIN — “We play for a nation that doesn’t even know our name.” So begins a video released last month by the German national women’s soccer team, right in time for the start of the Women’s World Cup. Die Nationalelf, two-time World Cup winners and one of the favorites in the tournament, was packing for their trip to France, where they’ve already gone 2-0-0, sitting atop their group and...

13 Comments

Luis Paez-Pumar Luis Paez-Pumar Jun 06, 2019. 6 comments

This Isn't The Best Germany Ever, But They Can Still Beat Anyone

This Isn't The Best Germany Ever, But They Can Still Beat Anyone
2019 Women's World CupPlayers to watch, dark horses, upset opportunities, and everything else you need to know for the 2019 Women’s World Cup in France.  

For a normal national team, Germany’s recent run of relative success would be cause for celebration: quarterfinalists at both the 2017 Euros and 2011 World Cup, with a semifinals appearance at the 2015 World Cup and a 2013 Euro title. Oh,...

6 Comments

Apr 05, 2019. 12 comments

Germany's Small But Devoted Group Of Knicks Fans Has Plenty Of Takes And Hates James Dolan

Germany's Small But Devoted Group Of Knicks Fans Has Plenty Of Takes And Hates James Dolan

BERLIN — As he watched the New York Knicks play on TV in the middle of March, Max Thümer explained why he had, weeks before, vowed to stop watching the team.

It was the

Kristaps Porzingis trade .

“I’ve just been thinking about why I spend so much of my rare leisure time to watch a franchise and organization that’s totally full of shit,” said Thümer, a 35-year-old who runs local kindergartens,...

12 Comments

Luis Paez-Pumar Luis Paez-Pumar Feb 06, 2019. 4 comments

Christian Pulisic Finally Played And Scored The Type Of Goal That Made Him Worth $73 Million

Christian Pulisic Finally Played And Scored The Type Of Goal That Made Him Worth $73 Million

Christian Pulisic hasn’t been having the best time in this, his final season at Germany’s Borussia Dortmund before his

record-breaking transfer to Chelsea becomes official. He had only made two substitute appearances for the Black and Yellow since the transfer was announced, and though he did get a start in Tuesday’s DFB Pokal cup match against Werder Bremen, he’s not really in Dortmund’s...

4 Comments

Billy Haisley Billy Haisley Jan 17, 2019. 18 comments

Woman Who Coaches Men's Soccer Team Responds To Sexist Question: "I Pick My Team On Dick Length"

Woman Who Coaches Men's Soccer Team Responds To Sexist Question: "I Pick My Team On Dick Length"

In late December, German soccer club BV Cloppenburg handed the reins of their fifth-division men’s team to Imke Wübbenhorst, making her the first woman to coach a German men’s team at that high of a level. You could probably imagine some of the moronic questions Wübbenhorst has had to field in light of her new gig, though you probably wouldn’t have predicted the irreverence and hilarity with...

18 Comments

Billy Haisley Billy Haisley Jan 03, 2019.

Northern Ireland Fans Had A Great Time Despite Getting Stomped By Germany

Northern Ireland Fans Had A Great Time Despite Getting Stomped By Germany

Above, you can see a veritable sea of Northern Ireland fans in the Parc des Princes for their country’s game against Germany earlier today. Even though their team went down a goal early and were completely dominated, the fans in green nevertheless had a great time singing along with the “Will Grigg’s on Fire” song that has taken the tournament by storm.

Here’s another clip from the...

Dec 06, 2018. 4 comments

An American Surfer Goes Rogue To Claim The Baltic Sea's "Last Wave"

An American Surfer Goes Rogue To Claim The Baltic Sea's "Last Wave"

BERLIN — There’s this picture of Ira Mowen that pretty much sums up the quest he’s been on for seven years. In it, he’s standing mid-frame, gazing into the lens of the camera – or the phone, whatever. He looks like he’s just waking up, or he’s stoned, or he’s recovering from a sneeze, because he’s got that countenance that sometimes crosses the faces of people and makes them look, fleetingly,...

4 Comments

Billy Haisley Billy Haisley Nov 08, 2018.

Mix Diskerud Bicycle-Kicks In Goal; USMNT Is Kinda Hanging With Germany

Mix Diskerud Bicycle-Kicks In Goal; USMNT Is Kinda Hanging With Germany

Hmmm, the USMNT maintaining possession, playing it out from the back, overloading zones with intelligent off-ball movement, good first touches, and a tying goal that wasn’t totally against the run of play while facing one of the world’s best? Maybe we were

on to something ...
IT'S REALLY TRUE, AMERICA WON FIFA, WE ARE THE BEST!

Right now I couldn’t care less if this was some pointless...

Billy Haisley Billy Haisley Oct 25, 2018. 6 comments

German Soccer Player Bites Off (And Maybe Eats?) Chunk Of Opponent's Nose

German Soccer Player Bites Off (And Maybe Eats?) Chunk Of Opponent's Nose

An amateur soccer match in Germany between SV Preussen Eiberg and ESG 99/06 II featured six goals, one red card, and one mangled nose after an Eiberg player went all

Luis Suárez and chewed off a hunk of an ESG player’s face.

The Eiberg player—whose name, along with the victim’s, is being withheld because of German privacy laws—performed the act of cannibalism in the 69th minute of the match,...

6 Comments

Lauren Theisen Lauren Theisen Jul 24, 2018. 17 comments

Bayern Munich President Brutally And Inexplicably Owns Mesut Ozil

Bayern Munich President Brutally And Inexplicably Owns Mesut Ozil

Germany and Arsenal midfielder Mesut Ozil

announced his retirement from international soccer on Sunday, citing racism from fans, criticism of a photo he took with Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, and unfair scapegoating by German’s top soccer officials. For no obvious reason, Bayern Munich president and 1974 West German World Cup winner Uli Hoeness did his best to prove Ozil’s last...

17 Comments

Chris Thompson Chris Thompson Jul 23, 2018. 13 comments

Mesut Özil Quits International Soccer In Letter Decrying Racism And Unfair Double Standards

Mesut Özil Quits International Soccer In Letter Decrying Racism And Unfair Double Standards

Mesut Özil retired from German international soccer Sunday, in a lengthy statement released on Twitter. Özil says the fallout from a photo he took with Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdoğan in May lays bare a kind of racism he’s subjected to as a German with Turkish heritage, and that “enough is enough.”

Özil isn’t the first athlete of Turkish heritage to see his professional life subsumed...

13 Comments

Billy Haisley Billy Haisley Jul 08, 2018. 3 comments

We Might Have The Goal Of The Year Already In This Filthy Scorpion Kick

We Might Have The Goal Of The Year Already In This Filthy Scorpion Kick
Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view original GIF

Take a bow, Carsten Kammlott. This is some piece of work. Here’s the full video:

3 Comments

Billy Haisley Billy Haisley Jul 08, 2018. 10 comments

Please Enjoy Bayern Munich Dressed Up And Boozing For Oktoberfest

Please Enjoy Bayern Munich Dressed Up And Boozing For Oktoberfest

It’s that time of year again, when all of Bavaria breaks out their finest lederhosen and dirndl skirts, and prepares to lift krug after enormous krug of the finest German beers in celebration of Oktoberfest. Bayern Munich’s players and coaching staff are no exception, and so we have loads of pictures of them squeezed into their funny looking traditional German garb and downing liters of...

10 Comments

Timothy Burke Timothy Burke Jul 08, 2018. 2 comments

Jérôme Boateng's Volley Opens Scoring For Germany

Jérôme Boateng's Volley Opens Scoring For Germany

Germany’s dominance looks to continue as Jérôme Boateng hammered home a 25-yard volley to put the reigning world champions up 1-0 early on Slovakia. Maybe it’s not as

flashy as Shaqiri , but impressive nonetheless.

[ESPN Deportes]

Open kinja-labs.com

2 Comments

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