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Drew Magary's posts - English uPOST

Drew Magary Drew Magary Oct 09, 2019 at 01:20. 8 comments

Who Is Your Favorite Athlete Not On Your Favorite Team?

Who Is Your Favorite Athlete Not On Your Favorite Team?
Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view original GIFGraphic: Jim Cooke (GMG), Photo: GettyFunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about getting eaten by a whale, state names as first names, typos, Hitler, butter knives, and more.

Your...

8 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Oct 08, 2019 at 00:30. 11 comments

The NBA Doesn’t Give A Fuck About People

The NBA Doesn’t Give A Fuck About People

The NBA already knows the math. The NBA already knows that whatever price it may pay for aligning themselves with the Chinese government against one of its own teams’ employees—all because Rockets GM Daryl Morey tweeted out a show of support for protesters in Hong Kong—will be nothing compared to what they stood to lose if they had grown a fucking spine. Morey’s single tweet was enough to...

11 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Oct 04, 2019. 24 comments

You’re Not An Owner

You’re Not An Owner

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here .

I liked sports more when I knew less about it. Melvin Gordon ended his holdout and reported back to the Chargers before last Sunday’s win over a beached Dolphins team that plays football about as well as I dance. Gordon didn’t play in that game. He didn’t...

24 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Oct 02, 2019. 24 comments

The Internet Ruined “Dude”

The Internet Ruined “Dude”
FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about un-Googleable band names, your groin, mustard-drenched testicles, and more.

Your letters:

Paul:

Hi Drew - can you rank the alternatives to calling someone “dude”? E.g. bro, bud, buddy, pal, boss, man, bossman, guy, big guy,...

24 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 27, 2019. 23 comments

You Cannot Fuck Up Visiting New Orleans

You Cannot Fuck Up Visiting New Orleans

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here .

There are a whole lot of dead people in New Orleans. I saw them resting in vast cemeteries that ran alongside the interstate seemingly for miles on the way into town—a drive from the airport that was so long that I started thinking to myself Uh, where’s New...

23 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 25, 2019. 21 comments

I’ll Be Goddamned If Chili Is Ever Considered A Health Food

I’ll Be Goddamned If Chili Is Ever Considered A Health Food
FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about pickles, basketball hoop design, BIG WEDDING, and more.

Your letters:

Ken:

How come chili is not considered healthy? Everything in it is healthy, depending on how you make it. Tomatoes, peppers, black beans, onions, garlic,...

21 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 20, 2019. 22 comments

Kirk Cousins Isn’t Worth A Shit

Kirk Cousins Isn’t Worth A Shit

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here .

Before we get into this, I should issue a HOMER ALERT because I am a Vikings fan and because this is a post about Kirk Cousins. As far as I’m concerned, all homerism should be disclosed up front, the same way a SPOILER WARNING must be displayed atop any online...

22 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 18, 2019. 24 comments

The Fuck Is Wrong With Announcers Who Won’t Call A Football A Ball?

The Fuck Is Wrong With Announcers Who Won’t Call A Football A Ball?
FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about trailers, crossing state lines, Sean’s friend Bruce, drunken coaches, and more.

Your letters:

Brent:

Why do NFL announcers use the word “football” so damn much in football games? Why can’t they just use “ball?” Last time I...

24 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 13, 2019. 12 comments

The NFL Has A Painkiller Crisis That It Never Wants To Go Away

The NFL Has A Painkiller Crisis That It Never Wants To Go Away

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here .

The same drug that killed Prince and Tom Petty killed Tyler Skaggs, too. If you remember, Skaggs was a pitcher for the General Southern California Area Angels who died at age 27 in July without any warning (without any publicly visible warning, anyway) that he...

12 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 11, 2019. 24 comments

Yes, You Can Refer To Your Favorite Team As “We”

Yes, You Can Refer To Your Favorite Team As “We”
FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about why baseball has no left-handed shortstops, flossing, Worcestershire sauce, toenails for teeth, and more.

Your letters:

Roger:

Should fans say “we won/lost/suck/etc.” when talking about whatever team they support, or use “they”...

24 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 06, 2019. 23 comments

Football Is The Last Great American Vice

Football Is The Last Great American Vice

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here .

My wife left me. I had to a shitload of work to do early in August, but she didn’t want to be stuck in the house with three overheated, overly bored kids and one surly husband. So she packed up the car and drove the little ones to the Finger Lakes while I...

23 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 06, 2019. 20 comments

Antonio Brown And The Raiders Have Conspired To Ruin Every Goddamn Thing

Antonio Brown And The Raiders Have Conspired To Ruin Every Goddamn Thing

Let us start with a hearty LOL. The Oakland Raiders traded for downfield savant Antonio Brown during the offseason, handed him $30-plus million in guaranteed money, and now stand ready to piss that investment away in the quickest, most Raiders-like fashion possible. Adam Schefter is now reporting that after Brown publicly bitched about being fined by the team, freshman GM and defender of THE...

20 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 05, 2019. 22 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: New England Patriots

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: New England Patriots

Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews here.

Your team: Orchids of Asia. Real change of pace for someone in this organization to have THEIR dick grabbed!

Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view...

22 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 04, 2019.

Is It Worth Being A Good Person In 2019 America?

Is It Worth Being A Good Person In 2019 America?
Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view original GIFIllustration: Jim Cooke (G/O Media)FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about doctors, the Mariners, capture the flag, being followed, and more.


Your letters:

Stosh:

It could be that this has...

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 03, 2019. 9 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Los Angeles Rams

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Los Angeles Rams

Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Rams. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Los Angeles Rams. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: GUHHHHHHHHHHH

Your 2018 record: 13-3. NFC Champions. Huh. That 13-3 reminds me of ANOTHER 13-3 somewhere out there. What 13-3 could that be? Oh yes, right…

Three points....

9 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 30, 2019. 10 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: New Orleans Saints

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: New Orleans Saints

Some people are fans of the New Orleans Saints. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New Orleans Saints. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.


Your team:

Your 2018 record: ROLL THE TAPE!

While the Saints and their fans spend the rest of eternity wallowing in their own victimhood, let’s quickly take note of...

10 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 30, 2019. 23 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Kansas City Chiefs

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Kansas City Chiefs

Some people are fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: Kansas City Chiefs.

Your 2018 record: 12-4. Third-highest scoring team in NFL history. Best Chiefs team of my lifetime. Home field advantage through the...

23 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 29, 2019. 24 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Los Angeles Chargers

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Los Angeles Chargers

Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Los Angeles Chargers. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: Los Angeles Chargers.

Your 2018 record: 12-4. I’m still not over how this C-List Batman villain of a team went out in the playoffs. The Chargers crushed the...

24 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 28, 2019. 24 comments

What’s The Worst Cooking Mistake You’ve Ever Eaten Anyway?

What’s The Worst Cooking Mistake You’ve Ever Eaten Anyway?
FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about soccer snobs, voiceover acting, bad keys, eating wrappers, and more.

Your letters:

Kyle:

Once in college, I was stoned off my ass and accidentally seasoned some strip steaks with a shitload of cinnamon, mistaking it for seasoned...

24 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Aug 27, 2019. 24 comments

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Dallas Cowboys

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Dallas Cowboys

Some people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: Dallas Cowboys.

Your 2018 record: 10-6. These Cowboys overachieved and won the NFC East last season. They also somehow got good value out of giving up an oil baron’s ransom...

24 Comments

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