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Bayern Munich's posts - English uPOST

Luis Paez-Pumar Luis Paez-Pumar today at 01:07. 5 comments

Suspected Olympiakos Fans Invade Stadium, Leave Four Bayern Munich Fans Bloody During U-21 Match

Suspected Olympiakos Fans Invade Stadium, Leave Four Bayern Munich Fans Bloody During U-21 Match

Before Bayern Munich and Olympiakos faced off in the Champions League on Tuesday, mayhem broke out during a match between the clubs’ respective U-21 sides in Athens. In the 84th minute of the UEFA Youth League match between the sides, a stadium invasion left four Bayern fans bloody and injured.

The Greek City Times reported that “80 men, many in motorcycle helmets or armed with clubs” were...

5 Comments

Luis Paez-Pumar Luis Paez-Pumar Oct 09, 2019. 11 comments

Germany Rose And Fell With Bastian Schweinsteiger

Germany Rose And Fell With Bastian Schweinsteiger

Bastian Schweinsteiger was three different players. The German superstar, who announced his retirement from soccer on Tuesday, is leaving behind one of the most peculiar careers in recent soccer memory. From a wide player breaking into Germany’s 2006 World Cup side, to one of the best and most idiosyncratic central midfielders in the world, and finally to his farewell run as a center back in...

11 Comments

Luis Paez-Pumar Luis Paez-Pumar Aug 19, 2019. 17 comments

Philippe Coutinho Never Made Sense At Barcelona, And Now He's Gone

Philippe Coutinho Never Made Sense At Barcelona, And Now He's Gone

Turns out, there was no happy ending , only a long, sad breakup.

Philippe Coutinho, Barcelona’s most expensive signing ever, has shipped off to Germany to play for Bayern Munich. There, Coutinho will attempt to right a listing career that saw him go from one of the hottest transfer targets in the world, to someone no club seemed to want. A precipitous fall from grace only 19 months after a...

17 Comments

Tom Ley Tom Ley Jul 31, 2019. 5 comments

Moroccan Soccer Player Tries To Quit In The Middle Of A Preseason Ass-Kicking

Moroccan Soccer Player Tries To Quit In The Middle Of A Preseason Ass-Kicking

Turkish side Fenerbahce took on German giants Bayern Munich in a preseason friendly yesterday. Things did not go well for the Fenerbahce players, who were dominated throughout the game and lost 6-1. That performance earned them plenty of boos from the home fans, which were enough to drive team captain Nabil Dirar to attempt to storm off the field in the 72nd minute:

Dirar was ultimately...

5 Comments

Luis Paez-Pumar Luis Paez-Pumar May 23, 2019. 16 comments

Borussia Dortmund Are Coming For Bayern Munich's Crown

Borussia Dortmund Are Coming For Bayern Munich's Crown

While no one bottled the Premier League this season, it can be said that Borussia Dortmund blew it in their pursuit of the Bundesliga title. Dortmund had a nine-point lead over arch rivals Bayern Munich in late January, only to let it slip through their fingers. Rather than sit and stew about their collapse and the seventh consecutive Bundesliga title said collapse granted Bayern, the Black...

16 Comments

Luis Paez-Pumar Luis Paez-Pumar Mar 14, 2019. 6 comments

Liverpool Will Go As Far As Sadio Mané Takes Them

Liverpool Will Go As Far As Sadio Mané Takes Them

Faced with a most unenviable task—walking into Bayern Munich’s home stadium and needing to come away with a win or, at the very least, a scoring draw—Liverpool turned to their streaky African forward, who drove them to a commanding 3-1 victory and into the quarterfinals of the Champions League. No, the Reds’ savior wasn’t Mohamed Salah. It was their other African star, the one who has carried...

6 Comments

Billy Haisley Billy Haisley Feb 12, 2019. 15 comments

Two Good Bayern Munich Fans Thwart A Dickhead's Attempted Jersey Thievery

Two Good Bayern Munich Fans Thwart A Dickhead's Attempted Jersey Thievery
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A little Bayern Munich fan’s dream was almost dashed this weekend when defender Joshua Kimmich came over to toss the kid his jersey, only for a rude man to reach out and snag it. Thanks to the help of Kimmich and two other justice-minded fans nearby, though, the culprit was immediately shown the error of his ways and...

15 Comments

Billy Haisley Billy Haisley Jan 07, 2019. 16 comments

Franck Ribéry Defends Right To Eat Salt Bae's Garbage, Tells His Haters' Grandmothers And Mothers To Get Fucked

Franck Ribéry Defends Right To Eat Salt Bae's Garbage, Tells His Haters' Grandmothers And Mothers To Get Fucked
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No sane person would flush gold down a toilet, nor would one consume gold-encrusted meat, but Bayern Munich forward Franck Ribéry essentially did both when he filmed himself at a Dubai restaurant preparing to put a steak flecked with the precious metal into what he later demonstrated to be his potty mouth.

Ribéry,...

16 Comments

Timothy Burke Timothy Burke Dec 15, 2018.

Augsburg Wins As Bayern Munich Looks Bad Again

Augsburg Wins As Bayern Munich Looks Bad Again

Bayern Munich came out poorly in an attempt to rebound after getting crushed in Barcelona earlier this week, only to lose 1-0 to Augsburg after playing most of the match down a man when Pepe Reina earned an early red card. But we’re really here to talk about Raul Bobadilla, whose exceptionally clever goal is what made the difference in the match.

Sure, Bayern already has the Bundesliga title in...

Patrick Redford Patrick Redford Dec 13, 2018. 12 comments

Thomas Müller Sent Off For Karate-Kicking Opponent Upside The Head Like A True Maniac

Thomas Müller Sent Off For Karate-Kicking Opponent Upside The Head Like A True Maniac

Bayern Munich will advance into the Champions League knockout rounds atop their group after a wild draw with Ajax today that saw two red cards within eight minutes of each other and four goals after the 82nd minute. Bayern had to score their equalizing and go-ahead goals without Thomas Müller on the field, since their talismanic forward decided to take an ill-advised (to put it mildly) leap...

12 Comments

Billy Haisley Billy Haisley Dec 02, 2018.

Messi Turning Boateng Into A Folding Chair Voted Best Goal Of UCL Season

Messi Turning Boateng Into A Folding Chair Voted Best Goal Of UCL Season

Ahead of the Champions League group stage draw today, UEFA handed out its award for best goal of last season’s tournament. Naturally, it went to this Lionel Messi stunner during that heavyweight fight that was Barcelona-Bayern Munich . I could stare at this GIF for hours:

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What make Messi goals so spectacular is how he...

Billy Haisley Billy Haisley Nov 23, 2018.

Saúl Ñíguez Dances Through Bayern Defense, Gives Atlético 1-0 Lead

Saúl Ñíguez Dances Through Bayern Defense, Gives Atlético 1-0 Lead

Check out this ridiculous run right here, and remember that Saúl Ñíguez is a central midfielder not at all known for his dribbling ability, and marvel at his awkward grace as he skates by Bayern Munich’s whole defense and scores:

Saúl looks like he’s going to trip over himself the whole time, and yet instead manages to keep his feet under him and fool about four different players before...

Gabe Fernandez Gabe Fernandez Nov 08, 2018. 12 comments

Report: Not Even FIFA Wants To Back This Stupid European Super League

Report: Not Even FIFA Wants To Back This Stupid European Super League

Arguably the most corrupt sporting body in the world announced on Wednesday that it would actively work against the potential creation of a breakaway European Super League. The announcement was in response to a report from Der Spiegel that showed clubs like Bayern Munich and Real Madrid were allegedly working with private consultants and investors to create a 16-team league featuring the best...

12 Comments

Billy Haisley Billy Haisley Oct 04, 2018. 9 comments

I Can't Stop Watching This Gorgeous Long Ball

I Can't Stop Watching This Gorgeous Long Ball

Ajax midfielder Hakim Ziyech’s soaring cross-field pass in yesterday’s match against Bayern Munich was always beautiful, but watching it from this particular camera angle on loop sends it from “wow, that was cool” to “it’s been 30 minutes since I hit play on this video and I still haven’t moved”:

Soccer is still the best sport.

9 Comments

Lauren Theisen Lauren Theisen Jul 29, 2018. 15 comments

Canada Has Its Own Wonderteen And Bayern Munich Just Paid $13 Million For Him

Canada Has Its Own Wonderteen And Bayern Munich Just Paid $13 Million For Him

Bayern Munich have completed a deal today with the Vancouver Whitecaps for the MLS team’s 17-year-old winger, Alphonso Davies, effective at the January transfer window after he turns 18. The German giants will pay $13 million for Davies up front, with various bonuses kicking in if the young Canadian international finds success with his new club. But even if those bonuses never get cashed in,...

15 Comments

Lauren Theisen Lauren Theisen Jul 24, 2018. 17 comments

Bayern Munich President Brutally And Inexplicably Owns Mesut Ozil

Bayern Munich President Brutally And Inexplicably Owns Mesut Ozil

Germany and Arsenal midfielder Mesut Ozil announced his retirement from international soccer on Sunday, citing racism from fans, criticism of a photo he took with Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, and unfair scapegoating by German’s top soccer officials. For no obvious reason, Bayern Munich president and 1974 West German World Cup winner Uli Hoeness did his best to prove Ozil’s last...

17 Comments

Timothy Burke Timothy Burke Jul 14, 2018. 3 comments

Thomas Müller Scores Goal From Seemingly Impossible Angle

Thomas Müller Scores Goal From Seemingly Impossible Angle

Despite being ridiculously shorthanded, Bayern Munich is having its way with Frankfurt today with the most impressive effort coming from Thomas Müller, who played what looks like an almost impossible angle for Bayern’s third goal.

[GolTV]

Open kinja-labs.com

To contact the author of this post, write to tim@deadspin.com (PGP key ) or find him on Twitter @bubbaprog.

3 Comments

Billy Haisley Billy Haisley Jul 08, 2018. 10 comments

Please Enjoy Bayern Munich Dressed Up And Boozing For Oktoberfest

Please Enjoy Bayern Munich Dressed Up And Boozing For Oktoberfest

It’s that time of year again, when all of Bavaria breaks out their finest lederhosen and dirndl skirts, and prepares to lift krug after enormous krug of the finest German beers in celebration of Oktoberfest. Bayern Munich’s players and coaching staff are no exception, and so we have loads of pictures of them squeezed into their funny looking traditional German garb and downing liters of...

10 Comments

Timothy Burke Timothy Burke May 13, 2018.

Bundesliga Broadcast Features Someone Bellowing Lionel Richie Song Off-Camera

Bundesliga Broadcast Features Someone Bellowing Lionel Richie Song Off-Camera

Today’s Bayern Munich-Borussia Mönchengladbach broadcast on FS2 had a bonus soundtrack: “HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!?”

[FS2]

Click here to view this kinja-labs.com embed.

Billy Haisley Billy Haisley May 04, 2018. 15 comments

Blame Bayern Munich, And All The Rest Of Them

Blame Bayern Munich, And All The Rest Of Them

If, after watching Bayern Munich’s appalling display of simultaneous superiority and ineptitude that granted the evil white empire of Real Madrid entry to the Champions League final, you found it a little difficult to maintain the furious, righteous anger in your belly once you saw the agonizing, tear-streaked faces of the German club’s players after the final whistle blew last night, then a...

15 Comments

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