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Magic Johnson Is Doing Lists [Updates]

Lauren Theisen Aug 14, 2019. 16 comments

It has long been known that Magic Johnson quit his job with the Lakers so he could be free to tweet the most inoffensive takes imaginable without running afoul of the NBA’s tampering rules. But since retiring from his semi-retirement, he’s reached a brand-new level of old-guy social media usage—naming old movies and bragging about vacations. Granted, reading this Hall of Famer’s timeline is so much better than seeing the internet melt a once-beloved athlete’s brain into a puddle of transphobia . But Magic, buddy, who is this for?

That’s a list of 60 movies that Magic Johnson really, really likes. It’s almost entirely alphabetical, except for The Godfather (perhaps asserting its dominance as the all-time No. 1 film), The Bourne Identity (sitting at a much more confusing 31), and the fictionalized Motown musical Sparkle, which I initially and excitedly confused for Mariah Carey’s Glitter.

Ordering issues aside, this is a perfectly fine if very bland list of good movies as agreed upon by the Hollywood establishment, besides Shaft (2019). It’s befitting of a guy who used to own a bunch of movie theaters, and it’s at least more coherent (if less exciting) than any attempt the Deadspin staff has ever made at ranking movies.

That was only the beginning. Five minutes later, Magic decided to Remember Some Guys. Specifically, Guys who made a lot of money in business ventures off the field. It’s a hard pivot from a universally debated category like movies to a topic that’s really only interesting to Magic Johnson and his few peers. But typing a list of athletes with a high net worth is certainly a unique way to celebrate the diamond anniversary of your birth.

Ten minutes later came another list we didn’t know we needed: Magic’s top 60 places to travel. Its original title—Magic’s Top 57 Places You Will Never Be Able To Visit And A Couple You Might Go To If You Save Enough Money—must have been too long to fit the whole list in a pair of screenshots.

For a general idea of what Magic Johnson is also doing right now—as he takes time out from his luxurious life to inform us that Cancún is, in fact, a cool place to visit—here are two other envy-inducing tweets from the past 24 hours:

I cannot wait for Magic to turn 70, when I can only assume he’ll be tweeting “Cheers was a great TV show!” from his brand-new mansion on Mars.

Update (3:35 p.m., 8/14): Magic has released more lists: 60 TV shows, 60 male R&B artists, 60 female R&B artists, 60 hip-hop artists, and 60 music groups. And yes, he still appears to be celebrating on a gigantic boat.

Update (4:25 p.m., 8/14): Here are 60 people who’ve helped Magic Johnson. His dinner table tonight also looked fabulous.

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