LOADING ...

Metagross Has Four Brains, Which Seems Like Too Many

Zack Zwiezen Aug 10, 2019. 16 comments

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Metagross!

Metagross Details

Type: Steel/Psychic

Average Height: 5‘ 03"

Average Weight: 2078.7 lbs.

First Added In Generation III

I feel like having multiple hearts makes a lot of sense. Same with having multiple eyes and even ears. But multiple brains? That seems a bit unnecessary and maybe even annoying? Some real-world octopi have smaller brain-like organs in their tentacles, but these aren’t fully functioning brains. But Metagross has not just two brains, but four brains. Four!

According to Bulbapedia, Metagross is formed when two Metangs combine. Metangs are created when two Bedlums combine. So that is where the four brains come from. In a sense, this is less one creature and more like a hodgepodge collection of four different Pokemon. This means each of these four brains was once part of a separate being before becoming Metagross. So I can’t imagine everything works smoothly among them, at least not at first.

Think about how hard it is to decide where to eat when you have a group of friends together. Now imagine every decision you make daily, from how fast to walk, when to sleep, how to open your mouth, etc. All of those decisions and more are decided by that group of friends. Forever and ever, until you die. That sounds like Hell.

Metagross also eats in a strange way. It sits upon its prey and uses its large mouth, which is located on its rear, to eat whatever it is sitting on. What is it with Pokemon and their weird-ass situations. Last week and now this week. Will next week bring us a Pokemon that writes letters using its anus or something?

Favorite Fan Art

I feel like the word “attempt” is VERY important in this message. But, good job Metagross. I hope your mechanic career proves successful.

Random Facts

  • I might be wrong about this, but I think this might be the heaviest Pokemon I’ve featured on Here’s Another Pokemon? That is a lot of weight to put on top of someone. I can’t imagine Metagross prey lives very long.
  • According to Pokedex entries, Metagross is smarter than a supercomputer and can solve complex calculations quickly. It even can figure out if it is going to win a match before the match is over, which seems useful.
  • Also, I guess if it tucks its leg in it can float...somehow? I assume it has to do with its psychic abilities, but who knows. Maybe having four brains lets you defy gravity?

Best Comment From Last Week

If Sharpedo was overhunted, I have to imagine at least half the human population died as well trying to kill those things. You just don’t hunt monster that is 10 times as dangerous as a normal shark, has a jet engine for a butt, and has magical water powers and NOT lose 10 to 30 S.S. Minnows per shark.

-InvadingDuck | Zachary D Long

The next live-action Pokemon movie should just be a remake of Jaws, but with Sharpedo instead. Have it set in an era after humanity has thought it defeated them. But one big one returns and is ready to kill everyone unless it can be stopped.

16 Comments

Other Zack Zwiezen's posts

Track: Aim For The Head | Artist: Creature Feature | Album: Night Of The Demons (Offical Motion Pi Track: Aim For The Head | Artist: Creature Feature | Album: Night Of The Demons (Offical Motion Pi

Track: Aim For The Head | Artist: Creature Feature | Album: Night Of The Demons (Offical Motion Picture Soundtrack)#SpookySongs

'Shop Contest: Your Neo Cab Is Here 'Shop Contest: Your Neo Cab Is Here

I really want to play Neo Cab. The game looks great and I love the concept of being the last human driver in a future city filled with auto cars and drones. But you know, cities are big and anyone can hail a cab. Not just residents of cyberpunk super city, but even other video game characters...Your challenge this...

The Best Way To Play Call Of Duty Mobile Is On A PC The Best Way To Play Call Of Duty Mobile Is On A PC

Call Of Duty: Mobile was released worldwide earlier this week for Android and iOS devices. It’s a strange mix of different maps, guns, and mechanics from various Call Of Duty games from the past. It also is developed by a company that is owned by Tencent. So I decided to load up CoD: Mobile on Tencent’s official Android emulator...

Sunday Comics: Jelly Sunday Comics: Jelly

Hello! It’s time for Kotaku’s Sunday Comics, your weekly roundup of the best webcomics. The images enlarge if you click on the magnifying glass icon. Awkward Zombie by Katie Tiedrich. Published Sept. 30. Read more of Awkward Zombie. Corpse Run by Alex Di Stasi. Published Oct. 3. Read more of Corpse Run. Clueless Hero by Luis Lee and Ana...

Suggested posts

Ghost Recon Breakpoint Is An Infuriating Mess Ghost Recon Breakpoint Is An Infuriating Mess

I have never played a game as inconsistent as Ghost Recon Breakpoint. In its finest moments, when the stars align, it delivers stealth action on par with the best in the genre. When it falls apart, as it usually does, a tangled weave of glitches and half-baked systems reveal a game compromised by bland AAA design sensibilities and a ceaseless...

Blizzard Subreddit Closes After Devs Suspend Hearthstone Player For Pro-Hong Kong Statements Blizzard Subreddit Closes After Devs Suspend Hearthstone Player For Pro-Hong Kong Statements

Hearthstone player Chung “blitzchung” Ng Wai recently made waves when, during an official competition, he voiced support for Hong Kong amidst ongoing protests over Chinese rule. He’s since been suspended from competition by Hearthstone developer Blizzard and stripped of his tournament winnings, a move that has been widely criticized. During all this turmoil, the Blizzard forum on Reddit has...

The PlayStation 5 Will Launch In Late 2020, And, Yes, It's Called The PS5 The PlayStation 5 Will Launch In Late 2020, And, Yes, It's Called The PS5

Sony isn’t waiting for any more leaks. They revealed more details about the PlayStation 5—and, yes, it will be called the PS5—to Wired today as well as announcing more about the console on the company’s blog. Here’s the key info:It’ll be called the PS5 and be out for holiday 2020, as we’ve been reporting.The console will have a solid-state...

A Fan-Made Browser Game Is Pro Pokémon Players' Secret Weapon A Fan-Made Browser Game Is Pro Pokémon Players' Secret Weapon

Around one million players a month are throwing down in Pokémon Showdown, a fan-made, browser-based game that recreates the battles found in official Pokémon games, with accurate stats. It’s arguably even better than using the official games to battle, since it’s faster and more customizable. Showdown is so good that professional players even use it to practice for Nintendo’s...

A Dramatic Reading Of The Names Of 400 Guns From Destiny 2 A Dramatic Reading Of The Names Of 400 Guns From Destiny 2

I performed a dramatic reading of the names of 400 guns from Destiny 2. Why did I do this? Well, one reason would be, “Why not?”With the release of the Shadowkeep expansion, I started the game afresh in solidarity with my friends, who are playing the free-to-play New Light mode. So I haven’t progressed far into the game, and I...

How To Access Destiny 2’s New Vex Offensive Mode How To Access Destiny 2’s New Vex Offensive Mode

If you have Destiny 2 and can’t figure out how to start the game’s new Vex Offensive, you’re not alone. We were initially vexed, too. (Yes, I’m a dad.).The Vex Offensive is a six-player co-op mode that’s open to anyone who has the season pass for Destiny 2’s brand new Season of the Undying. That should be everyone who...

Phantump Is The Spirit Of Dead A Child Inside A Tree Stump Phantump Is The Spirit Of Dead A Child Inside A Tree Stump

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Phantump!Phantump DetailsType: Ghost/GrassAverage Height: 1'04"Average Weight: 15.4 lbs.First Added In Generation VIIt is October, so let’s get a little spooky. I don’t think...

The Five Best Fishing Mini-Games The Five Best Fishing Mini-Games

Sometimes, between fighting monsters or zombies with swords or guns or whatever, you want to kick back and enjoy a different type of challenge in a video game. Fishing mini-games bring bite-sized blasts of outdoorsmanship to our adventures, and while some players hate them, I’ve found there’s fun to be had when fishing’s done right. Here’s a list of...

Battlefield V Finally Has A Metro Map, And I Love The Chaos Battlefield V Finally Has A Metro Map, And I Love The Chaos

If a multiplayer shooter goes on long enough, it’ll develop a signature map. That can be the back-and-forth sniping on Team Fortress’ 2Fort, or the dual bases of Halo’s Blood Gulch. For Battlefield, it’s Metro. The tight, claustrophobic map has appeared under various names in multiple games in the series, and was just added to Battlefield V in the...

The Joker Sucks The Joker Sucks

A new film starring The Joker is out in theaters worldwide today. I can’t let him get away with this. In this video I step in to expose the Joker for what he is (boring) and clowns for what they are.For one thing, the Joker’s not even funny. Additionally, you shouldn’t trust clowns. Can you even remember the last time...

Language