Goomy Is Just The Worst Dragon

Zack Zwiezen Jul 20, 2019. 9 comments

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Dragons Goomy HAP Here's Another Pokemon Kotaku Core Nintendo Pokemon

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Goomy!

Goomy Details

Type: Dragon

Average Height: 1‘ 00"

Average Weight: 6.2 lbs.

First Added In Generation VI

When you think of dragons, you think of a powerful creature like Charizard. Massive and dangerous beasts, usually capable of flying and other cool stuff. Goomy isn’t like those dragons. Instead, Goomy is like a puddle of mucus that can die if stays out in the sun too long. Calm down kids, don’t all try to catch this thing at the same time. I know it sounds amazing.

I feel bad for poor Goomy, honestly. Throughout most of its Pokedex entries, it is referred to as “The weakest of all Dragon-type Pokemon.” Way to kick someone while they’re down. Although, kicking Goomy actually won’t do much to the little puddle of slime. Its body is covered in a thick slimy mucus that defends it from attacks. So kicking it will probably just feel weird and be a waste of time. But don’t touch Goomy if you can help it. According to Bulbapedia, the outside of Goomy is filled with germs. In fact, one Pokedex entry even mentions that after touching this creature you will need to really wash your hands. Gross.

Don’t leave these creatures out in the sun either. They use their slimy covering to breath. If they dry out they can actually die. So most Goomy stay in the shade and don’t move much. Again, kids I know this thing sounds amazing. Please don’t crowd around it and for god’s sake, don’t touch it.

If after hearing all this you still want to, for some reason, grab and hold one of these slimy things be careful. These creatures are very sensitive and even just picking them up or grabbing them can shock them so much that they will be unable to move for some time. So to recap, to keep this Pokemon alive and happy you need to never touch it, never hold it and never let it hang out in the sun.

Favorite Fan Art

What did we just talk about?! Don’t eat this or touch this and just like actual ice cream, don’t leave it outside in the sun.

Random Facts

It uses antennas on its head to get a sense of its surroundings and what’s going on around it. For some reason, it has four of these?
Goomy is the shortest and lightest Dragon-type Pokemon in the games. It also is tied with another Dragon-type Pokemon for having the lowest base defense. Basically, it sucks.
One Pokedex entry refers to Goomy as “The soft tissue Pokemon” and I hate that so much.

Best Comment From Last Week

I used to help run a Tumblr blog that did Pokemon splices, and Luvdisc drove me crazy. It was often requested to be spliced with another Pokemon, but the problem is that it’s just a blob. Combining it in a satisfying way with another Pokemon was almost impossible because it has no arms, legs, tails, or ANYTHING interesting on it.
-coolchazine

Who is requesting Luvdisc for something like that? That person has the option of any Pokemon, literally any other Pokemon, and they choose the pink blob with no interesting features. That person probably likes plain vanilla ice cream too.

9 Comments

coolchazine Jul 20, 2019

Well, Zack, re: the splicing requests, the other most common splicing request we got was Gardevoir and... I think there was a very specific reason a lot of people wanted that.

Zack Zwiezen Jul 20, 2019

I wish I was surprised...

MegaBlastoise Jul 21, 2019

“When you think of dragons, you think of a powerful creature like Charizard.”

Who wasn’t a Dragon until Gen VI and won’the be a Dragon in Gen VII due to the dumping of Mega Evolutions. :P Which means Charizard has gone back to sucking, especially since one of the new Gigantamax moves is basically “Stealth Rock that does damage.” Regular Stealth Rock could take out as much as HALF Charizard’s HP.

As for the spotlight Pokémon, Goomy is adorable and Our Lord and Savior. Way better than either the Helix or Dome Fossils.

The anime version was hilarious as well. It tried to be one of Ash’s gung-ho Pokémon, but never could get the hang of things. Then it evolved into Sliggoo, like, 10 episodes later and a few episodes after that evolved into Goodra by using Rain Dance. Which annoyed a lot of people because in the games, you could only evolve Sliggoo by leveling it up in natural-occurring rain, not by using Rain Dance.

Oh, and despite being a Psuedo-Legendary, it got robbed multiple times in the Pokémon League. It never got a single win and in the final match, was the victim of Alain's Bisharp's Guillotine, a One Hit KO move. Goodra got robbed almost as bad as Ash-Greninja.

The Geek Empress Jul 21, 2019

I think your autocomplete mistook ‘worst’ for ‘best’. Honest mistake, easily forgiven. Goomy is smol, squishy, adorable and just wants to be friends. It’s doing it’s best and I support it.

Jason C. Jul 20, 2019

Love for Goomy! One of my favorites. :)

The_Big_Stein Jul 21, 2019

A wild Goomy appeared!

Wild Goomy used Congestion! Trainer can’t breath!

Trainer used Sudafed! It's super effective!

Wild Goomy fainted!

Otterbee Jul 21, 2019

don't talk to me or my snot son ever again

cecil_banon Jul 20, 2019

First I want to see a Luvdisc Machoke splice. Yes a good LuvChoke, I’m turning blue with anticipation! Second, leave goomy alone. He’s the base form of a 3 stage Evo. I’m pretty sure those all suck. I mean who keeps their Charmander as a Charmander? No one!

Quick edit: is that a goomy vanillish splice?

Marmotte Desormiers Bourdeau Jul 21, 2019

So my significant other got me an official Goomy plushie a couple Christmas ago. We both love it, but we couldn’t figure out where to put it down and display it. We were at a loss— until we noticed this one plastic hook on the ceiling. Enter flying Goomy, the safest, coziest Goomy plushy in the world.

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