LOADING ...

Michael Keaton drops by as Julian Assange to help SNL roast the latest celebrity jailbirds

Dennis Perkins Apr 14, 2019. 21 comments

Last night’s Emma Stone-hosted Saturday Night Live saw Alec Baldwin’s Donald Trump sabbatical continue, with a cold open instead focusing on some other high-profile miscreants played by visiting celebrity royalty. In a sketch parodying MSNBC’s roster of behind bars reality voyeurism, the kickoff sketch saw Kate McKinnon’s Lori Loughlin (mail fraud, money laundering, college admissions rich person chicanery), Pete Davidson’s satanically slimy Michael Avenatti (even more lawyerly shadiness than you suspected), and Melissa Villaseñor’s Tekashi 6ix9ine (“just robbery and gun stuff ”) all sharing the same cell for their misdeeds. Each vied for the baddest new kid on the cell block by boasting of their well-documented crimes, with Loughlin coming out on top by not only bribing her way into the local Nation Of Islam gang but boasting to her cowed cellmates that’s she’s been through a TV wringer that would drive anyone beyond the brink. (“I’ve been in 68 Hallmark movies,” McKinnon’s Loughlin sneered to shaken prisoner Chris Redd, “I’ve seen hell!”) She also has a toothbrush shank for anyone who plays that Aunt Becky shit.

But the undisputed king of the crazies turned out to be the sketch’s biggest surprise, as a bearded, nigh-unrecognizable Michael Keaton emerged as newly incarcerated Wikileaks founder and “actual James Bond supervillain” Julian Assange. Cornering tough-talking con Kyle Mooney, Keaton’s crazy-eyed Assange threatened Mooney with the worst fate of all—his internet search history, dick pics, and that folder of Shark Tank pitches. “You wanna know how crazy I am?,” asked Keaton’s Assange gleefully, “I’m wanted in the U.S. and Sweden, I’m from Australia, I live in London, in Ecuador—you try figuring that one out.” And if Keaton’s Assange didn’t have the mellifluously accented evil purr of Bill Hader’s, he at least brought a Batman quote to the party. After all, Assange will, as the cleaning staff of the Ecuadorian embassy can attest, get nuts.

21 Comments

Other Dennis Perkins's posts

Jimmy Fallon bribes Chance The Rapper to spill all the details about his first album Jimmy Fallon bribes Chance The Rapper to spill all the details about his first album

For a guy so justly famous and successful, it’s still weird to think that Chance The Rapper has never sold a single album. But releasing his uniformly lauded mixtapes 10 Day, Acid Rap , and Coloring Book for free has certainly paid off for the Chicago rapper, actor , and philanthropist, as he’s not just starring in movies, guesting...

Late-night reacts to Donald Trump still being a racist, only moreso Late-night reacts to Donald Trump still being a racist, only moreso

With most of the late-night talk show hosts having taken last holiday week off, viewers were left to process the daily news sans the pressure and stomach-acid relieving catharsis of snarkily on-point monologues. (Catching up, Late Show host Stephen Colbert admonished his audience, “If you follow the news, and I suggest you don’t . . .”) But, one might...

David Cross can’t muster an original way to confront Trump in Oh, Come On David Cross can’t muster an original way to confront Trump in Oh, Come On

TV ReviewsAll of our TV reviews in one convenient place.  Over the opening credits of David Cross’ new stand-up special, Oh, Come On, the comic can be heard saying, “You gotta do it. It really makes them—it really bothers them.” That’s David Cross the stand-up encapsulated in a bit of pre-show banter. (As he says to his audience when he...

The Simpsons: “Bull-E” The Simpsons: “Bull-E”

TV ReviewsAll of our TV reviews in one convenient place.  The SimpsonsSeason 26The SimpsonsSeason 26"Bull-E"BThe SimpsonsSeason 26"Bull-E"BB"Bull-E"Episode21The Homer/Flanders relationship is rooted in adult disappointment. For all the various permutations of their decades-long conflict, Flanders functions as Homer’s next-door reminder that he’s not in charge of his life. Looking back, moving to Evergreen Terrace was a big step for a young...

Suggested posts

Jimmy Fallon bribes Chance The Rapper to spill all the details about his first album Jimmy Fallon bribes Chance The Rapper to spill all the details about his first album

For a guy so justly famous and successful, it’s still weird to think that Chance The Rapper has never sold a single album. But releasing his uniformly lauded mixtapes 10 Day, Acid Rap , and Coloring Book for free has certainly paid off for the Chicago rapper, actor , and philanthropist, as he’s not just starring in movies, guesting...

Late-night reacts to Donald Trump still being a racist, only moreso Late-night reacts to Donald Trump still being a racist, only moreso

With most of the late-night talk show hosts having taken last holiday week off, viewers were left to process the daily news sans the pressure and stomach-acid relieving catharsis of snarkily on-point monologues. (Catching up, Late Show host Stephen Colbert admonished his audience, “If you follow the news, and I suggest you don’t . . .”) But, one might...

Found: All the happy little Bob Ross paintings Found: All the happy little Bob Ross paintings

Before Bob Ross’ death in 1995, he had hosted the popular PBS series The Joy Of Painting for 11 years. For each episode - and there were over 400 of them, in total - he painted a picture step-by-step for his audience. Furthermore, each of those canvases were painted three times. We’re not great at math, but that still...

Conan avenges Kumail Nanjiani's last-minute cancellation by plugging Nanjiani's competition Conan avenges Kumail Nanjiani's last-minute cancellation by plugging Nanjiani's competition

Conan O’Brien began his Thursday show by giving a little rundown of his new, one-guest-only Conan format and noting that, should the unthinkable happen and that one guest, say, call to cancel a half-hour before the show, “You’re really screwed.” Well, Conan was really screwed, as, indeed, Kumail Nanjiani got caught (or so he says) filming overtime on Silicon...

Dave Bautista finally gets his Stuber wrap gift from Kumail Nanjiani on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Dave Bautista finally gets his Stuber wrap gift from Kumail Nanjiani on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

While wrestler-turned-actor and literal-minded superhero Dave Bautista’s first comic lead hasn’t perhaps gone according to plan, it’s hard not to root for the big lug. Appearing on Wednesday’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Bautista revealed that he’d been so grateful and excited about this latest career milestone that he bought personalized wrap gifts for every cast and crew member on Stuber...

Donald Glover dons a lion skin to talk Lion King, Beyoncé, and the end of Childish Gambino Donald Glover dons a lion skin to talk Lion King, Beyoncé, and the end of Childish Gambino

Donald Glover’s Disney employers are getting their money’s worth, is all that can be said, as multi-hyphenate, multi-media superstar Donald Glover showed up across the street from the Hollywood premiere of the live action Lion King remake in a lion suit. Sitting down for an extended chat with Jimmy Kimmel—whose Jimmy Kimmel Live! studio sits in close proximity to...

Kevin Bacon spends his birthday telling Conan about being "not fuckable" before a $1,500 haircut Kevin Bacon spends his birthday telling Conan about being "not fuckable" before a $1,500 haircut

On Monday, Kevin Bacon told Conan O’Brien that, indeed, he was spending his birthday (July 8) hanging out on the Conan set. (That’s the actor’s 61st birthday, should anyone who grew up watching Footloose want to stare off into the middle distance for a while.) And while Bacon told Conan that birthdays aren’t really his thing, he did refute...

Shaun The Sheep goes the E.T. route in new Farmageddon trailer Shaun The Sheep goes the E.T. route in new Farmageddon trailer

The last movie from Aardman Studios, 2018’s Early Man , was among the worst performing releases in the studio’s history. So Aardman is hoping to bounce back by going back to a tried-and-true player: Shaun The Sheep. In Shaun’s new movie, Farmageddon, he goes the E.T. route, making friends with an adorable alien with special powers who crash-lands on...

On a live, post-debate Late Show, AOC names the winners, which Trump staffer gets jailed next On a live, post-debate Late Show, AOC names the winners, which Trump staffer gets jailed next

Stephen Colbert introduced his first guest, New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, as a “superstar,” and, judging from his audience’s extended standing ovation and spontaneous chants of “AOC!,” he appears not to be just blowing smoke. With the Bronx representative sitting down for a two-segment chat about all things governmental, Colbert started out by asking the first-year public servant her...

Late-night makes up for media silence on the latest Trump sexual assault accusation Late-night makes up for media silence on the latest Trump sexual assault accusation

Donald Trump once claimed he could publicly shoot someone and his supporters wouldn’t care. Apart from that sounding like dialogue from a supervillain cult leader running for mayor of Gotham City, the sentiment that the MAGA crowd is so on board with Trump’s agenda of racism, sexism, homophobia, plutocratic thievery, white victimhood, and America first/only boorishness that they’ll back...

Language