LOADING ...

A question about Harry Potter Dementors inspires cute drawing, more questions

Caroline Siede Feb 24, 2015. 24 comments

It’s been more than seven years since Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows hit bookshelves, but that doesn’t mean fans aren’t still poking holes in J.K. Rowling’s intricately detailed, often poorly thought out Wizarding World. HitFlix shared one question posed by Tumblr user Taruielf, who inquires after the logistics of the magical prison Azkaban (the wizarding version of Alcatraz). Since Azkaban is run by demonic creatures called Dementors and they keep their prisoners under a constant level of psychological torture, Taurielf wants to know who actually gets shit done at Azkaban. She asks:

If there are only Dementors and prisoners in Azkaban then who makes the food??? Is there a Dementor in the prison kitchen wearing a kiss the cook apron and making pancakes for the inmates? J.K [Rowling] explain yourself.

The catch here is that it’s basically unbearable to be around a group of Dementors for too long (they feed on human happiness), so it’s hard to imagine wizards signing up to work in a prison run by them. The prisoners are definitely too emotionally disturbed to handle sharp knives/hot liquids themselves. And while it’s possible Azkaban is managed by House Elves, that seems like a pretty cruel use of your servant/slave class, even by wizarding standards (and should require some immediate intervention from S.P.E.W.).

Anyway, since there’s no joke the Internet can’t stretch even further (see above paragraph), artist Marmalade Boxcar illustrated a pretty adorable glimpse into the secret lives of Dementors.

With the floodgates open, we can now move on to questioning other confusing elements of the Harry Potter series. Since wizards basically get sent to trade school at age 11, does that mean no one in the Wizarding World knows math beyond a fifth grade level? If Harry’s year has five Gryffindor boys, are there only 280 students in all of Hogwarts (just how small is the Wizarding World)? Is there any production element to the wizarding economy or does everyone either teach, run a shop, or work for the government? And most importantly—why the hell isn’t Muggle Studies a required class?

24 Comments

Other Caroline Siede's posts

The Best Man capped off one decade of black rom-coms and inspired another The Best Man capped off one decade of black rom-coms and inspired another

When Romance Met ComedyWith When Romance Met Comedy, Caroline Siede examines the history of the rom-com through the years, one happily ever after (or not) at a time.  From the late ’90s to the mid 2010s, Sanaa Lathan and Taye Diggs starred in five major romantic comedies, two of them opposite one another. Yet when people rattle off lists of the...

Milo Ventimiglia wants to help you date in the digital age in his new webseries Milo Ventimiglia wants to help you date in the digital age in his new webseries

Tweeting about your date, Facebook-stalking your crush, sharing your passwords with your significant other—these are just a few of the relatable situations presented in the trailer for Relationship Status, a new webseries about the perils of dating in the era of social media. Made up of a dozen 11-minute episodes, the series is set to debut April 29 exclusively...

This Jurassic World parody corrects the one flaw of the first park This Jurassic World parody corrects the one flaw of the first park

In his new parody video, creator Stephen Vitale makes a rather astute observation: The real reason all hell broke loose in the first Jurassic Park had less to do with Nedry’s duplicity or that crashed Unix system than the fact that John Hammond installed doorknobs that were too easily manipulated by raptor claws. Vitale’s Jurassic World trailer parody envisions...

Marion Cotillard wants to fight for women’s rights, not “feminism” Marion Cotillard wants to fight for women’s rights, not “feminism”

In a new interview with The Evening Standard, Marion Cotillard explains that while she believes in fighting for women’s rights, she doesn’t “qualify” herself as a feminist. Instead she thinks the call for gender parity in the film industry “creates separation.” She clearly didn’t watch The Late Show With David Letterman, or at least missed the night that Aziz...

Suggested posts

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon teaming up with Ridley Scott for The Last Duel Ben Affleck and Matt Damon teaming up with Ridley Scott for The Last Duel

Two of Hollywood’s bestest friends are ready to welcome a third bro into their lives, with Deadline reporting that Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are set to star in Ridley Scott’s adaptation of the novel The Last Duel. Damon and Affleck co-wrote the script with Nicole Holofcener, making this their first script collaboration since Good Will Hunting (which is...

Adam Sandler convinced far too many famous people to be in his next Netflix movie Adam Sandler convinced far too many famous people to be in his next Netflix movie

Say what you will about Adam Sandler’s Netflix movies (including “they’re not great” or “they’re a cover for a massive web of stupid conspiracies”), but at least they’re keeping him from doing some kind of Funny People sequel. They latest project that’s keeping him away from reuniting with Judd Apatow for another five hours of misery is an untitled...

James Cameron and the Russo Brothers trade niceties after Endgame breaks box office record James Cameron and the Russo Brothers trade niceties after Endgame breaks box office record

Avengers: Endgame is officially the highest grossing film of all time, having finally surpassed the $2.789 billion record set by James Cameron’s Avatar back in 2009. Marvel was a bit sneaky—or clever, depending on your patience for Hollywood big dick contests—releasing an “extended” cut a few weeks back to trick ticket buyers into watching a not-fully-rendered Hulk. If Cameron...

Not even cats, the inspiration for Cats, like the trailer for Cats Not even cats, the inspiration for Cats, like the trailer for Cats

The trailer for this year’s adaptation of Cats is something we, as human beings, must take responsibility for. Despite having to live with the instinctual knowledge that no other species on this planet is capable of dreaming up and enacting as much horror as we are—despite enduring countless cruelties and suffering needless indignities—Earth’s other animals have dealt with us...

The first trailer for A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood is here and we're already a damn mess The first trailer for A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood is here and we're already a damn mess

For those of us who were fortunate enough to watch Fred Rogers during our more formative years, there’s a good possibility that we were totally unaware that we were witnessing something truly rare. Mister Rogers’ Neighorhood was more than visits from neighborhood figures and trolley trips to Make-Believe; it was one of the few bastions of unmitigated kindness from...

Becoming Superman is both a gruesome and mundane portrait of the creator of Babylon 5 Becoming Superman is both a gruesome and mundane portrait of the creator of Babylon 5

You likely know the work, though you might not know the name: J. Michael Straczynski. A writer for hire in the truest sense, Straczynski, or Joe to his friends and JMS to his fans, can seemingly write anything. Maybe you grew up on his cartoons he scripted: He-Man, She-Ra, The Real Ghostbusters. Or the television shows he created: Babylon...

Marvel says Avengers: Endgame will beat Avatar's box office record this weekend Marvel says Avengers: Endgame will beat Avatar's box office record this weekend

Last night, during Marvel Studios’ San Diego Comic-Con presentation, boss Kevin Feige declared that—as of this weekend—Avengers: Endgame will overtake the $2.7897 million box office record set by Avatar. It seemed a little premature, since it would’ve theoretically been possible for Marvel to sell literally zero Endgame tickets today, but it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen since...

Meet The Eternals, Marvel’s next obscure property bound for the big screen Meet The Eternals, Marvel’s next obscure property bound for the big screen

During its San Diego Comic-Con panel, Marvel Studios finally confirmed that it’s making a movie based on Jack Kirby’s The Eternals , giving us one our first post-Endgame (and post-Far From Home ) glimpses into what the MCU is going to look like now that Marvel has wrapped up the story it’s been telling ever since the stinger for The Avengers...

Oh shit, Marvel's making a new Blade movie with Mahershala Ali Oh shit, Marvel's making a new Blade movie with Mahershala Ali

While it was easily the most exciting non-Picard-based hour-and-a-half of the day today, Marvel’s big Comic-Con panel tonight didn’t have too many surprises stored up—at least, until the end. Because while most of the projects announced by Kevin Feige and company were things we’d at least heard about before—Shang-Chi, Black Widow, Doctor Strange 2, etc.—the panel ended with one...

Black Widow finally gets a release date, Comic-Con footage, confirmation that it actually exists Black Widow finally gets a release date, Comic-Con footage, confirmation that it actually exists

Given the weird transitional place it currently finds itself in, Marvel’s big presentation in Hall H at Comic-Con tonight was pretty light on video footage to show off to the happily baying crowds. (On account of, y’know, pretty much none of it having been shot yet.) Still, attendees in the Hall didn’t go home entirely empty handed, as they...

Language